TC 26: Intution and Lies
by Tegan's Muse
Summary: Please read the beginning of the prologue before flogging me over 25 missing. I don't really think the violence in this rates a M rating, but be warned a few places it gets a little graphic. Lots of whump, angst, etc to ensue. Enjoy.
1. Prologue

A/N: A couple things that may or may not be of importance.

Some of you will have noticed the last Story in the Chronicles was 24 and this is 26, that's because there is at least one partially written story that takes place between then and now, if not two. It's been approximately a six months to a year since Tegan and Janet moved and things are going really well. Tegan hasn't been majorly injured or sick, and her team hasn't been captured by Goa'ulds. Now that being said, we know that Tegan's life couldn't be entirely peaceful for a whole year... so there's a little incident that occurred, but the details aren't important to this story. If you don't want spoilers for the unposted story then just skip ahead to the Prologue.

Randall Kiser, Tegan's father is dead.

Margaret Scully, Dana's mom is renting out Janet's old house and although she doesn't really know what goes on inside the mountain she knows it's dangerous.

* * *

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies

Prologue

Janet cleared her throat as she watched the maître d' approach. "You've got company."

Tegan turned her head in the direction of Janet's glare, a smile spread across her lips. "Greg!"

"Tegan," He greeted as she stood and pulled her into a tight hug. When he released her, he looked at her dinner companion noting her cool expression. "Dr. Fraiser, sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I'm only in town for one night."

"How'd you know where to find us?" Tegan sat back down as the maître d' returned with an extra chair.

"Yes please tell." Janet fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"I stopped by the house, well actually you're old place and of course you don't live there anymore so I went to Janet's house and luckily Dana was there, because her mom wasn't going to tell me anything. Dana told me she thought you two were going out tonight, and called Cassie who confirmed your whereabouts."

"So you're just here for one night?" Tegan spoke to keep Janet from unleashing the dragon inside.

"I'm on my way to a medical conference in Arizona, but I made sure I got an overnight layover here."

"What's so important?" Janet's voice lacked the animation of Tegan's.

Greg took a deep breath and let it out in a burst. "I'm getting married."

Tegan's smile grew as Janet's expression relaxed slightly. "I'm so happy for you."

"Really?"

"Of course."

If he'd wanted a similar reaction to the last time he broke the same news to her, he wasn't going to get it. He smiled. "Good. I have a huge favor to ask."

"Ok?" She continued to train her attention on him.

"I'd like you to sing at the wedding."

"Seriously?"

"Of course."

"When is it?"

"In two months."

Tegan looked at Janet and Greg looked between the two women.

"You're both invited, of course."

Janet gave a slight nod. She couldn't tell Tegan no if she wanted to, not that she did.

"I'll have to check my mission schedule and put in for leave, but I think I'll be able to do it."

"Excuse me." Janet stood and glanced toward the restroom and back at Tegan before retreating.

"So? Who is she?"

"A woman I met in Atlanta."

"Another doctor?" Tegan knew he didn't go on vacations, but that'd probably change once he had a wife to insist on it.

"No." He shook his head. "I was at a conference though when I met her."

"So give me the juicy details."

"She plays piano in a club."

"As in 'play me a song Mr. Piano man'?" Tegan grinned.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"Is she any good?"

He blushed momentarily.

"I meant on the piano." Tegan rolled her eyes.

"Yes. And I knew what you meant."

"Uh huh, dirty mind."

"Is she ok with this?" He referred to Janet.

"Yeah, it's just we've been looking forward to a quite night out, just the two of us, since the move." It wasn't like they hadn't had time alone, but it was the first night they'd gone out with reservations and dressed to the nines.

"And I interrupted."

"It's ok." Tegan reached out and touched his hand. "I'm sure she understands."

"I hope so." He sighed as Tegan's phone rang.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this call." She depressed the answer button. "Kiser." There was a long silence before she spoke again. "I'll be there in about fifteen to twenty minutes."

"Gotta go?" Greg asked as she stood up.

"Yeah." She waited as he mimicked her. "Could you let Janet know and give her a lift home?"

"Sure thing." He flashed his pearly whites again.

"Thanks Greg. I'm really happy for you." She smiled and leaned in her lips pursed and aiming for his right check. He turned his head capturing her lips with his.

Janet walked out of the bathroom in time to see Tegan and Greg's lips lock. Tegan's half lidded eyes shot wide open and she lifted her hands to his biceps to push away.

Tegan blushed deeply. Even though their tongues had never touched and the kiss was brief it was still shocking that he'd go there. "You should save that for your fiancé."

Greg grinned his goofy little grin letting Tegan know the kiss had been intentional.

"Janet." Tegan looked between her and Greg, suddenly feeling guilty despite having done nothing wrong. "I just got called in, but Greg will give you a ride home if you don't mind."

"No, I don't." Janet eyed him. "Guess I get stuck with the bill."

"No," Greg interjected before Tegan could respond leaving her with her mouth opening and closing like a mute puppet. "I've got dinner. It's the least I can do for barging in."

"Thanks." Tegan leaned in and kissed Janet before whispering, "Love you."

"Do you love her?" Janet clicked her seat belt as Greg started the rental car.

"Who?"

It was a good question and caused Janet to pause. "Your fiancé."

The obvious answer would be yes, and most people about to get married would have answered the question already, without hesitation. Finally he said, "Yeah, I uh – I'm getting married."

Janet shook her head, as if that was an answer.

"We're compatible. She's funny. We have some common ground. Of course I love her."

"Are you trying to convince yourself?"

"No, I'm not. It's just she's not," He sighed. "Tegan."

* * *

Tegan slid silently under the covers.

"I thought you forgot to call."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't." Janet spoke into the darkness.

"It wasn't a mission. I would have called, but I didn't plan to stay. SG8 brought back a creature from their latest mission, and by the time I got to base it was dead. I went to check on something and one thing led to another."

"And you ended up doing the entire necropsy?"

"Yeah."

Even in the dark Janet could tell her eyes were downcast. "It's ok, just give me a call next time after the debriefing so I don't worry."

"I will, I promise." She leaned over and kissed Janet much more passionately than the kiss that had transpired between her and Greg.


	2. Chapter 1

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 1

"Hey." Janet rolled on her side to see the moonlight casting a pale blue glow on Tegan's face. "What are you thinking about?"

Tegan shook her head, and continued to stare at the ceiling.

Janet reached up and combed her fingers through her hair.

After a few minutes Tegan turned her head. "I don't want… if anything happens to me… I don't want to be put on life support."

"You mean you don't want me to keep you alive if you're a vegetable?" Janet wondered where the thought had come from.

Tegan nodded.

"I wouldn't do that to you." Janet confirmed. When the silence ensued Janet asked, "Is everything ok?"

Tegan nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"You're not still thinking about being a vegetable are you?"

"No." She smiled lightly.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"I'd be robbing you blind," Tegan admitted.

"I'm willing to take the chance."

"I was just thinking about how much I love you."

"Really?"

She nodded again. "I used to think my career, the military, was the most important thing to me. But I'd give it all up just to spend one more minute with you."

"You're starting to scare me."

Tegan lifted her head and touched her lips to Janet's. She pulled back, "Why?"

"I don't know. It feels like you're saying goodbye."

Tegan slid her hand between them and rubbed her knuckles on the outside of the pink satin boxers Janet was wearing. "Then how 'bout I say hello?"

* * *

Two days later, Tegan sat on the bed where Janet had just finished her pre-mission physical. All she had to do was get through this mission, and barring any crises in the next week she and Janet would be heading to Greg's wedding.

Janet put her hand on her knee. "Tegan –"

"Don't say it." She interrupted.

"What?"

"Whatever you were going to say about the mission, don't say it."

"But –" Janet was cut off by Tegan's finger over her lips.

Tegan slipped off the bed and despite being on base kissed Janet. "Always and forever, that's how long I'll love you."

"Tegan…"

"I've got to go." She pushed the privacy curtain back as she rushed out.

"I love you too." Janet whispered to her retreating back.

* * *

The Stargate activated and the worm hole whooshed to life. General Hammond stood in the control room. "SG1 you are cleared to go."

"You heard the man." Colonel O'Neill pointed to the watery light.

"Sir?" Tegan turned and looked up to General Hammond as Sam and Daniel started up the ramp followed by Teal'c.

"Yes Major?"

"Aren't you forgetting something sir?" She asked.

"Of course." General Hammond nodded, even though he didn't always send them off with a farewell. "Good luck and Godspeed SG1."

"Thank you sir." She turned and started up the ramp.

"What was that about?" Jack asked as he walked up the ramp beside Tegan.

"What?"

"That whole thing." He waved his hand behind him.

"Oh you know, probably nothing." She shrugged and stepped through the wormhole.


	3. Chapter 2

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 2

Tegan glanced around her, something was off. Sam was to her left, dirt streaked across her sweaty forehead. She could hear Daniel breathing behind her. Teal'c stepped on a twig and it gave way snapping loudly beneath his weight. She nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Col –" Her voice stuck in her throat like a ball of dry cotton. She crept forward, her fingers blanched in a death grip on her P-90. "Sir."

Jack heard the whisper and turned, "What?"

She hadn't thought past getting his attention. She couldn't tell him she had a bad feeling. You don't just turn around and go home because you have a bad feeling. She glanced sideways at Sam who was staring at her.

"What is it Kiser?"

"We've got to go back."

"Why?" He stopped whispering. They hadn't encountered any life forms. The planet was a densely populated jungle. The air was as thick as pea soup and hung on them like a second skin.

"There's a building over here sir." Sam pointed to the over grown entrance.

"That's why." Tegan shuddered.

"It's been abandoned for decades at least Kiser. Look at all those vines." He pointed at the overgrowth. "Teal'c use your staff weapon, see if you can clear the entrance."

She should have stopped him, it wouldn't be the first time she'd been insubordinate. The first time she was really insubordinate she ended up looking like ground beef. She shuddered.

"You ok?" Sam asked.

"I just…" She held her weapon tightly. "I've got a bad feeling."

"Perhaps it is a memory from one of the symbiotes." Teal'c suggested.

"I don't know. It's just there's a lead anvil in my stomach."

"What's our mission?" Jack asked.

"Search and retrieval sir."

"We didn't pick up any life signs within a fifteen mile range of the gate." Sam reminded.

"How far have we traveled?" Daniel adjusted his glasses.

"Five tops." Jack responded.

"Colonel?"

"What Kiser?"

"Let me go first."

"Carter's taking lead, she found it."

"Please be careful." Tegan begged as Sam checked her light.

Sam glanced back at her momentarily before stepping in.

Colonel O'Neill turned to Tegan before following. "I hope you're not waiting for an invitation."

"No sir." Tegan mopped the sweat from her forehead using the back of her arm.

It smelled dank and musty in the one room building. Something in the air made her want to gag.

"Woah." Jack pointed his light to a shelf. "Look familiar?"

"Which Goa'uld likes to tape its tortures?" Sam asked as Jack started in with the Jeopardy theme.

"Nirrti," Tegan hissed as she swept the room with the beam of her light. The only footprints in the dust were theirs. "I don't feel her sir."

"Could be old." Daniel reached up toward it.

"Don't!" Jack and Tegan warned in unison.

"It may be a breast trap."

"It's booby trap Teal'c." Jack corrected. "Not breast."

"Then how do we check it out?" Daniel looked like a kid who was just let loose in a candy store but told he couldn't buy anything.

"Kiser?" Jack aimed his light at her. "Still got that impending doom feeling?"

She nodded.

"Then we don't. We leave it here, and we head out."

"We can't just leave it here." Daniel argued. "It could contain just the information we need. I mean, maybe this one was never in the hands of a Goa'uld. Maybe it belonged to one of the ancients; it could have the location of the lost city on it. Better yet it could tell us how to defeat the Goa'uld once and for all."

Sam pulled Tegan aside and spoke in a low voice. "Is it Déjà Vu?"

"No." Tegan sighed. She knew what Sam was asking. "It's not a memory or… I don't feel like I've ever been here before."

"Maybe it's what you ate in the mess hall?" Jack grinned.

Tegan shot him a 'go to hell' look, but she was the one who'd spoken in a normal voice so he wasn't eavesdropping. She also didn't want to point out she'd skipped breakfast. She shook her head and turned away from Sam. "You're right; we can't not take it back based on an undigested piece of egg."

"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, Major?"

"No sir." She really just wanted to get back to earth; to get back home and have a quiet dinner with Janet and Cassie.

Jack nodded to Daniel who reached up and pulled the device off the shelf.

* * *

"Think you could be wrong just once?" Jack asked as Tegan rolled on her side on the stone floor. She immediately realized the floor they'd been standing on was dirt, and this was harder, and slightly slimy.

"Why can't I ever just wake up in my own bed when stuff like this happens?" She groaned and pushed herself into a sitting position. "Anybody hurt?"

"We're fine," Daniel berated him self.

"Not your fault." Tegan picked up on his tone. "Where are we anyway?"

"You were only out sixty seconds longer than the rest of us Kiser."

"In other words, we haven't a clue." Sam stood looking out between the rusty metal bars making up the fourth wall of their imprisonment.

"If there's no one on the planet…"

"We could be stuck here." Jack nodded.

"Where are our weapons?" Tegan looked at Teal'c who was clamoring to his feet.

"It may be that whatever transported us here removed our weapons in the process."

"Great." Jack pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Our G.D.O.s are missing as well."

"Look, I said I was sorry." Daniel hit his head on the wall he was leaning against.

"I gave the order." Jack mumbled.

"I believe I hear someone approaching." Teal'c spoke again quieting the group.

The distinct sound of a small assembly of Jaffa in armor echoed down the corridor announcing their arrival. Tegan looked up as one of the Jaffa reached the door.

"Hek'tu." She jumped to her feet. "You do know she is dead, right?"

"Gods cannot be killed." The Jaffa responded.

"Great, here we go again." Jack stood.

"You'll come with us." He swung the door open and pointed his staff weapon at the group.


	4. Chapter 3

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 3

"Well, at least I got to keep my clothes this time." Tegan said from her position where she was chained with her hands above her head to the wall. Her ankles and waist were also chained. The rest of SG1 was bound the same way; Jack was immediately to her left, with Teal'c on his other side. Sam was on her right and Daniel flanked her.

"Glad to see you're looking at the bright side of things." Jack grumbled.

"Somebody's got to."

For the last hour Daniel had been staring at the large stone tank in the middle of the room. It was lined in metal and contained a yellow fluid that had a skim of green slime on top of it. "What do you suppose is in there?"

"Piranha."

"Really?" Sam looked around Tegan to their CO.

"Yeah, I always keep my piranha in a tank like that." Jack nodded.

"Could be symbiotes." Daniel threw out.

"I don't feel anything."

"Nor do I," Teal'c agreed with Tegan.

"So, piranha then." Jack pulled on his restraints again just to see if they'd weakened in the last ten minutes.

"I do not see any movement."

"Then what's your theory big guy?" Jack questioned.

"I do not have a theory, O'Neill."

After twenty minutes of silence Daniel spoke again. "If Hek'tu is dead, are they just going to leave us chained here until we starve to death?"

"Or until feeding time for the piranha." Jack offered.

"If it really is piranha," Tegan mumbled.

"Ok brains where do you keep your piranha?" Jack asked.

"I don't have any piranha." She snipped at him.

"Well if you did?"

"I'd keep them in a tank that I could see them in."

"Ok, so what would you keep in a tank like that?" Daniel beat Jack to the question.

She turned her head to Sam and could read it in her eyes. They both thought they knew what was in the tank. "You really don't want to know."

"Oh, but I do." Jack lifted his brow.

"I guess I'd keep my electric eels in there, sir." She lied.

Again the group grew quite as they each contemplated what could be in the tank, and how they could possibly escape.

"You know," Tegan spoke a couple hours later, drawing their attention to the thin strawberry blonde entering the room. "You're supposed to be dead."

"You have heard of a sarcophagus Major?" Hek'tu responded as she rounded the built in tank.

"I didn't think your Jaffa were that smart." Tegan paused.

"She is hot." Jack spoke under his breath.

"I also thought Apophis would have finished you off had you survived Nirrti's attack." Tegan added.

"He was waiting for me when I came out of the sarcophagus." Hek'tu elaborated. "Nirrti had already told him some story about you escaping and that one of you must have killed me in the process. I showed him the recording devices I had hidden aboard my ship, which proved my innocence and he's currently hunting your savior."

"She isn't my savior." Tegan growled.

"Now that I don't have to worry about Nirrti, I can do whatever I want to you." She waved her hand over the group but her eyes narrowed on Tegan. "Now, which one of you is going to tell me the code to get past your iris?" She walked up to the silent Jaffa. "Shol'va, you will bring me much favor from Apophis."

"I will not reveal anything." Teal'c didn't even blink at her threat.

"We shall see." She moved on to Jack and ran her fingers along his lower jaw. "What is the code?"

Jack remained silent.

"Why does Nirrti have a price on her head?" She indicated Tegan.

"Upmh!" Jack exhaled as her fist rammed up under his rib cage.

She stepped in front of Tegan and ran the back of her hand down between her breasts and over her abdomen, turning her hand so she could slide her fingers under Tegan's belt and waist band. Tegan stared into her eyes and set her jaw until Hek'tu pulled her hand away and moved to Sam.

"How did you find my home world?"

"If we'd known it was your home world we would have sent nukes through and blown your ass to hell." Sam spat out making Jack proud.

Hek'tu slapped her causing her head to snap to the side before she moved on to Daniel. "All I want is the code."

He took a deep breath as she rubbed the G.D.O. against his groin. "Not gonna happen."

"You all think you are so brave." She handed the G.D.O. off to one of her Jaffa and took a pain stick from him. "But I will get the information I want."

"You're going to have to kill us first." Sam spoke.

"Oh, I am going to make you beg me to kill you. And then after I have extracted the information I want, I just might fulfill your wish." She touched the pain stick to Sam's cheek for ten seconds before pulling it away. "I can understand you not wanting to give me access to earth. So just tell me why Nirrti wants Major Kiser alive."

"She'll kill you, you know that." Tegan reminded.

"She will not be alive to kill me."

A shiver slid down Tegan's spine, she was better off when Hek'tu feared the wrath of Nirrti.

"Colonel O'Neill." Hek'tu moved to face him. "It is a simple question, answer it and I will let you and your team go."

Jack shook his head, even if the Goa'uld were telling the truth, she'd never let Tegan go in the end. He turned his head away as she lifted the stick to his face.

"We've all been tortured with the pain stick before," Tegan announced. "We didn't give up any information then, and we won't now."

"Oh?" Hek'tu turned to face Tegan, her breath smelled like she'd just eaten maggots for lunch. "You will tell me what I want to know."

Tegan swallowed to keep from gagging over the odor.

"I have plenty of ways to make you talk."

"That vat of putrid pond water?" Tegan scoffed.

"Jaffa kree." Hek'tu moved to the liquid in question and waited for the Jaffa she'd spoken to, to return.

When the Jaffa came back a few moments later he was carrying a large gray rat.

"Great, she's going to torture us with rats. That'll be fun." Jack shook his head.

Hek'tu took the rat, lifting it by its tail.

"Ten bucks says its piranha, last chance guys."

Tegan knew when it was time to be quiet, even if Jack didn't.

Hek'tu lowered the rat in the liquid for a minute.

"Great she's going to drown us in the algae covered water." Daniel looked at Sam who was paler than normal.

When Hek'tu pulled the rat out of the liquid it was screaming, the flesh dripping from its bones until the screaming stopped and nothing was left but a skeleton with a gray tuft of fur and a tail.

"Acid." Tegan breathed out quietly, it was just as she'd expected.

"Ouch." Daniel swallowed.

"So, who is going to tell me why Nirrti wants Major Kiser alive?" She waited for several moments in the silence before she turned and walked out, leaving four armed Jaffa standing guard just outside the door.

"Changed her mind?" Jack looked around and pulled on his restraints again, his black t-shirt wet and clinging to him from perspiration.

"Doubt it." Sam tried to kick her foot out but it jerked when the six inch chain pulled taunt.

Jack eyed Tegan who'd grown unusually quiet. "Kiser?"

"Sir?" She raised her eyebrows but didn't stop staring at the contraption in the middle of the room. There was a chain that she hadn't noticed hanging out the right of the stone encasement, she followed it to where it was connected to a large medieval looking crank.

"We're going to get out of this mess." He stated.

"We always do, sir."

"Have," Daniel corrected. "We always have."

"We'll figure something out."

"Like what?" The young archeologist tried not to yell.

"I'm all ears." Jack admitted he didn't have a plan.


	5. Chapter 4

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 4

Her neck hurt from the awkward angle her head had hung at after she'd drifted off. Jack had told them to try and get some rest, easier said than done when confined upright to a wall.

"How long was I out?" She struggled to look at her watch.

Jack shrugged, he knew it was less than twenty minutes. "We should have checked in with Hammond twelve hours ago."

Tegan stuck her chin out pointing in the direction of the door just as Hek'tu walked in.

"So, has anyone come to their senses yet, or is it time for me to show you just what I am capable of?" She walked up to Teal'c and looked him over, then moved on to Jack. She made it a point to look over each member of SG1 with great scrutiny before moving back to the middle of the group and pointing to Tegan. "Jaffa kree."

She hated that word, she knew it could mean anything, and in this instance it meant she would be the first to be tortured.

"No." Jack commanded.

"Then you will answer my question."

"Take me." He spoke with more conviction then he actually felt. He would have said it no matter which of his team was being sent to slaughter. The thought made him shiver.

"I've made my choice." She looked back at the Jaffa who had stopped his task and pointed to Tegan again.

Tegan waited until her feet were free before she tried to kick the large burly man. She might as well have tried to kick a brick wall for all the good it did. He pulled her by her arms while another Jaffa fished a single shackle out of the yellow liquid using a special pole. She tried to use her weight to throw him off balance, but it was no use. She looked at Jack as the shackle was secured around her left wrist. As her eyes traveled over each one of her team members she didn't say a word, she didn't scream for them to save her. She didn't have to. Where her voice would not betray her, her expression did.

Tegan jerked back as Hek'tu turned the crank herself. The chain pulled tight and slowly pulled her forward. She put her right hand on the stone edge and used it to counter balance, afraid of falling into the stagnant liquid face first. She gasped lightly as the ice cold water swirled around her forearm. Hek'tu stopped cranking when the liquid had reached her elbow. With in a few seconds the coldness turned to a deep stinging burn, white fire crackled along her nerve endings, and she let out a horrific cry as she jerked against her entrapments. After several strong pulls her arm was free, but not without consequences, the flesh had been de-gloved from her hand, leaving exposed bone and portions of muscle. Tegan felt her wrist pull free and did her best to cup her hand before bringing it out of the acid sending the liquid and flesh splashing up into Hek'tu's face.

Despite the show with the rat earlier, Jack didn't think he'd ever seen anything like it; the rest of the flesh that had been exposed to the acid was dripping off in a watery slime next to her boots. When it ate through the ligaments in her hand the bones landed on top of the pile of liquefied flesh. He wasn't sure how she was still standing. The pain alone would have been enough to cause most people to lose consciousness.

"We're going to die here." Daniel muttered under his breath. As if in answer to his unuttered prayer the sound of rapid gunfire echoed in the room. Hek'tu was hit several times in the chest before stumbling and tripping, falling into the vat of acid, as her small militia of guards were caught without proper fire power.

"Nice timing SG9, we could've used you guys about ten minutes ago."

"Major you're…" Major Hasher ignored Jack.

"I… uh." Tegan looked around in a daze; she wasn't sure what had happened after the burning started in her arm. She'd missed one hell of a fire party from the looks of it. She caught the blood soaking Daniel's fatigues. "Daniel's been hit."

"I think she's in shock." Sam stepped up to Tegan after one of SG9's members freed her from her bonds. "Someone take care of Daniel, I've got her. Tegan?"

"I'm not in shock." Tegan looked down at her arm, or what was left of it. It continued to burn as if the skin and muscle was still intact. Tegan reasoned it was the inflamed nerves as she pulled absently at her belt.

"Let me." Sam tried to help.

"No." Tegan looked up at one of the torches at the entrance of the room. "I need…"

Sam watched Tegan struggle to find the word and in frustration she pointed to one of the torches. "Colonel could you?"

Jack looked behind him to see what she was pointing to and quickly retrieved it. As he started to hand it to her, she shook her head. "Just hold it."

He lifted it higher.

"Lower." She waited until it was at the right height before she pushed her injured limb into the flame. The white heat from the acid was all she felt even as the smell of burning flesh filled the dank room.

"Kiser!" He pulled the flame back.

"Hold still." Her voice was firm despite her swimming head. "It's the best way to stop the bleeding."

A few seconds later she passed out, and Teal'c scooped her up into his waiting arms.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Hasher?" He turned, not sure he liked his tone.

"We uh, we blew up the ring room when we got here."

"You what?"

"It couldn't be helped sir."

"How far are we from the gate?"

"According to the UAV we're about 20 clicks away sir."

Jack closed his eyes and counted to ten rather than rip Major Hasher's head from his body.

"Alright, we need to make a stretcher for both Daniel and Kiser." He stepped up so he was toe to toe with Major Hasher. "And I'd better not hear one complaint from your 'boys' about marching straight through, is that understood?"

"Yes sir."

They'd walked about ten miles when Jack felt the weight on the stretcher shift and then become obsolete.

"O'Neill." Teal'c drew his attention to the fact Tegan had just rolled off the stretcher.

"Ugh." She brushed the dirt from her mouth where she had just done a face plant.

"Hold up." He called ahead. "Let's stop here for a few minutes."

Sam came back when she saw Tegan sitting on the ground looking at her arm.

"Next time moan or something before you roll off the damn stretcher, will ya?"

She ignored Jack as she examined the charred bones sticking out of her arm. "This is going to hurt."

"Tegan?" Sam was already pulling a morphine injector out of her cargo pocket.

Tegan looked up. "Just help me to my feet, and get ready to catch me. I won't be needing that."

Sam looked worriedly at her but helped her to her feet.

Tegan stood there for a second before doing her best to crouch without falling. She leaned so her ulna and radius were on the ground and she put her left boot on top of them.

"What the hell are you doing Kiser?" Jack stepped forward to stop her, just as she stood up. An unnatural scream welled in her chest and died in her throat as she slipped back into unconsciousness. The two bones having been pulled free, lay on the ground.

Sam and Teal'c moved her back on the makeshift gurney.

"Why'd she have to go and do that?" Jack swallowed the bile that was licking the back of his throat.

"I don't know sir." Sam examined the wound. "I need to put a dressing on this, it's probably already infected."

"Do what you need to do Carter."

"Yes sir."


	6. Chapter 5

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 5

Janet and Dana stood in the gate room anxiously waiting for the event horizon to activate again. Twenty minutes ago it had activated followed by a radio request for a medical team and surgeon to be on standby. Dr. Warner was paged and was on his way, and a small assembly of medical personal anticipated the coming injuries and awaited orders.

General Hammond stood in the control room wishing he had gotten more information, such as who was injured and what kind of injuries they'd received. He stared at the gate as the inner ring began to spin.

Janet glanced apprehensively at Dana as the event horizon lit up the room. Dana just gave a tiny nod as they both looked up the ramp to see a member of SG9 step through a makeshift stretcher in his hands. A few more steps and they could see the boots and fatigue bottoms with a field pressure dressing to the left leg. A few more seconds and Janet breathed a quiet sigh of relief, it was Daniel and he was still conscious.

"I've got him." Dana waved them down the ramp and out of the way, her set of medics following close behind.

Next Sam stepped through the gate and averted her eyes from Janet's. She stood to the side leaving plenty of room for the rest of SG1 to come through the gate. Jack was the first to step through quickly followed by another set of boots, from the size Janet could only conclude they belonged to Tegan. In just a few seconds her fears were confirmed when Teal'c came through carrying the head of the stretcher.

"What happened?" Janet met them at the foot of the ramp pointing for one of her medics to retrieve a waiting stretcher from the hall.

"Acid," Teal'c responded with one word.

Janet saw the missing limb for the first time. "It looks charred."

"Before she…" Jack swallowed the bile that kept licking his tonsils.

"She used a torch to cauterize the blood vessels." Sam explained, as the smell of burned flesh permeated the room. "I gave her ten of morphine in the field, that was over six hours ago. I tried to get an IV line in…"

Janet nodded and pointed for the medics to wheel Tegan out. "I've got it from here."

"What happened?" Julie asked as Tegan was wheeled in.

"I need a central line kit, and make sure the OR room is ready."

"Yes ma'am."

"And where the hell is Dr. Warner."

"I'm right here." He pulled his coat off, the infirmary doors still swinging behind him.

* * *

Warner shook his head. "I've got to take the humerus."

"You can't." Janet argued as Sam looked at Jack in the observation booth.

"If the infection spreads," Warner left the last part unsaid.

"We'll bring her back in."

"She may not survive another surgery."

"If you remove the humerus she'll never be able to wear a prosthetic. So I suggest you remove what you need to, to make a muscle and skin flap and we'll load her up with antibiotics and hope they work."

"I disagree." Dr. Warner looked up into the observation room finding General Hammond with his eyes. "Sir, I think Dr. Fraiser is wrong. She's too close to this case."

"Do you honestly think I would put her life at risk just to save her arm?" She questioned him.

"I don't know what you'd do for her." Warner glanced at her then back to General Hammond.

"You can't take her arm General." Jack spoke.

General Hammond leaned into the microphone. "She is the Chief Medical Officer for a reason, Dr. Warner."

"Of course."

* * *

When they moved Tegan to an isolation room Janet found the walking members of SG1 in the hallway. "No one will be seeing Major Kiser until they've shower, eaten, gotten their post mission physicals, and slept for at least six hours. In other words, her room is completely off limits to all members of SG1 for the next eight hours."

Sam shifted her weight and opened her mouth.

"No arguments." Janet turned and walked into the room where Tegan had just been moved.

Dana turned and looked at Janet. "Restless natives?"

Janet nodded. "How's she doing?"

"Blood pressure is ninety-eight over fifty-two, pulse is sixty. Respirations are sixteen and her pulse ox is holding steady at ninety-nine."

"Small favors." Janet mumbled and focused momentarily on the small gold cross that always hung from the thin chain around Dana's neck.

"I can take the first watch."

"No." Janet shook her head. "I've got it, I may need you later. How's Daniel?"

"Friendly fire, through and through wound. I cleaned it up and sutured it. No major vessels were hit. He was pretty lucky. I'll probably discharge him on crutches tomorrow, but for now he's feeling no pain."

Janet nodded. "I could use someone to check out the rest of SG1."

"I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, and then you should probably get some rest."

"Yeah, I'm going to stay on base so if you need me." She walked around the foot of the bed. "Do you want me to send in on of the nurses?"

"No, I'll call for one if I need one."

After Dana had gone Janet checked Tegan's IV line and manually checked her pulse hoping for some indication of consciousness. They'd been unable to induce a pain response earlier, and at present she couldn't bring herself to try it again.


	7. Chapter 6

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 6

Tegan sat on her surfboard the hot sun beating down on her shoulders and back. On the beach Janet sat beneath a large beach umbrella sipping some pink frozen concoction. They had the entire beach to themselves, and the ocean's waves were ripe for the picking without another surfer as far as the eye could see. It was perfect, and she didn't let her mind dwell on the unimportant details like just how too perfect it was. She was back in Costa Rica surfing just off her favorite beach. She knew that tree several feet behind Janet's sunshade. The weird way the trunk bent from growing with the winds.

She spotted it, the best set she'd seen in quite awhile, an over head crystal clear wave just waiting to be ridden. She began to paddle the board, and as the wave caught up with her she saw it. At first glance she thought it was a dolphin, they loved to surf the waves as much as she did. But as its dorsal fin broke the surface she felt her gut twist like an over wound spring. Its sharp nose broke the surface and a cold black demonized eye stared up at her before turning in the water and disappearing into the blue depths. But she knew he wasn't done with her yet, and he really didn't care if she was a seal or even a crash test dummy sitting on that board. Before her mind could even process what was going to happen the shark breached the surface like a speeding bullet. His jaws opened and with precision his razor sharp teeth tore into her left arm, his body twisting and tearing it from her body.

"Janet!"

* * *

The beeping from the heart monitor had started to beep with increasing speed and Janet had turned to see it jump to one-twenty, and her blood pressure was elevated. Before she had a chance to even turn back to Tegan she heard her name being torn from Tegan's throat in a blood curdling scream that made her own blood run cold.

Dana stuck her masked face in the room, reverse isolation having been implemented to protect Tegan from further infections. "Is she awake?"

"No?" Janet was certain the scream had been one of agony and fear. She returned her attention to her patient. "Tegan? Tegan?"

Dana walked to the other side of the bed. "Sounded like she was in pain."

Janet nodded.

Dana reached up and squeezed Tegan's right trapezius. "Still no pain response."

Janet nodded. "How'd SG1 check out?"

"They're all fine. I sent them off with strict orders to rest. Teal'c reminded me that he doesn't need sleep, and I reminded him he needed to kel'no'reem. Daniel's still sleeping and I've got morphine ordered if he wakes up in pain."

"Thanks."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with her awhile?"

"Yeah, I've got it." Janet reassured.

"Well you know where to find me if you need me."

"I do."

* * *

"Hey," Jack spoke through the microphone in the observation room attached to the isolation room. "Can I come in?"

Janet was about to say no until she looked at her watch. It had been almost eight hours to the minute. "You need to put on a mask."

A few minutes later Jack came into the room with a blue medical mask on. He glanced at the paler than usual Tegan. "How's she doing?"

Janet shook her head. "Not good. Her temperature's up and her white count is elevated. She's still not responding to pain."

"Let me sit with her for a while. You need to rest."

"I… I'm sure she'd like that Colonel." She said without any plans to leave.

"At least go grab a cup of Joe." Jack settled on the stool he'd moved over.

Janet stood in the doorway as he began to talk to Tegan.

"Hey kid." He looked down at his open empty hands. "What a mess we got you into huh?"

He waited, knowing she wouldn't answer. She hadn't been conscious since she'd pulled the bones free from her arm. "You've got to pull through this. Doc's a mess worrying about you. Carter's just as bad, I had to sneak Benadryl into her glass when we ate to get her to sleep. Daniel's going to be ok, but he's worried about you. I told them all you were going to be just fine, and Teal'c agrees. You're a fighter kid, if you could make it through what Nirrti did to you, this… this should be a walk in the park."

He sat there listening to the monitors beeping and finally heard Janet slip out of the room. Too bad he couldn't slip Benadryl in her coffee. "Man, I should have made up a code to give her. Maybe it would have bought us enough time to get everyone out in one piece."

He shivered thinking of the irony of his wording. He sat there thinking of how badly he'd screwed up, how he should have turned around and headed back to the SGC when Tegan had first stopped him. How he should have listened to his own gut when Daniel wanted to pick up the recording device. He prayed to a God he wasn't even sure existed pleading for Tegan to wake up, for him to wake up and find it had all been a dream. One horrifically messed up nightmare, but when he opened his eyes she still lay motionless in the bed, pale and pasty against white sheets, her left arm lying in a liquefied puddle on some God forsaken planet.


	8. Chapter 7

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 7

"Kiser!" Jack put his hand into the closing doors of the elevator causing them to open.

She'd hoped to slip into the elevator and off base before he caught up with her. "Sir."

"What are you doing the rest of the weekend?"

"I'm sure I'll find something to keep me busy, sir."

"Mandatory leave," He reminded.

"Yes sir, I know." She smiled lightly.

"Come fishing with me."

It was always the same request when they were off. He always wanted to go to his cabin in Minnesota and go fishing in the lake there. The same lake in which Teal'c swore there were absolutely zero fish.

"If I go, will you stop bugging me to go?"

"Sure." He smiled. "But you'll love it so much you'll be begging to tag along next time."

"Some how I doubt that." Which was how she found herself sitting in the small rowboat. She looked at the Caiman sun bathing on the bank. "I thought we were going fishing in Minnesota?"

"Minnesota the Amazon, it's all the same. Besides I thought you liked adventure."

"I do."

A warm breeze blew from behind them and caught Jack's fishing hat blowing it off his head and landing in the water near the front of the boat. Tegan reached for it and screamed out "JACK!" as the razor sharp teeth of piranha attacked her left lower arm.

* * *

Jack had been sitting there replaying what had transpired on the planet for the tenth time since coming into the room. He could remember Tegan's expression, every microscopic detail was etched in his mind. And then he heard it, the same scream she'd screamed when Hek'tu pulled her arm into the vat of acid, except this time it was his name.

Janet turned to see Jack pulling his mask off and burying his head into the trash can. In that moment she realized just how horrific it must have been for him to whitness her losing her arm. She turned her attention to Tegan whose blood pressure had temporarily shot up, but was now back down in a normal range. "Colonel?"

"I'm fine." He stood up replacing the mask. "Is she? What just happened?"

"We're not sure; she did the same thing earlier with me. I'm just not sure right now."

Jack nodded and picked up the trash can. "I'm going to go take care of this."

"Take a break Colonel, you've been here for two hours."

He nodded before slipping quietly out the door.

* * *

Janet turned as she heard the door close to find Sam's blue eyes staring out from above a medical mask.

"I took precautions." Sam pointed out before Janet could complain.

Janet nodded as she checked Tegan's radial pulse, her eyes drifting back to the monitor.

"That could be anyone of us lying there." Sam blinked back the tears stinging her eyes.

"So she wasn't playing hero?"

"Yes and no." Sam sat on the unoccupied stool beside Tegan's bed. "Hek'tu chose her. Colonel O'Neill tried to get her to pick him instead but that didn't happen." Sam sighed. "There was nothing we could do, she wanted our GDO codes. She didn't give it to her, none of us did. Just before SG9 came busting in she managed to free her hand and splash acid in her face."

Janet smiled lightly behind her mask. "That sounds like my Tegan."

Sam agreed.

"I assume she'll be discharged?"

"Probably." Sam's voice fell.

"Damn it." Janet tilted her head back as if cursing the heavens, while she did her best to force back tears.

"She can always be hired back as civilian staff, work fulltime here in the lab and help out in the infirmary."

"She's got a long road to recovery." Janet looked at Sam suddenly feeling the urge to vomit herself. "I just hope she…"

"She'll be fine," Sam reassured. "She's a fighter."

Janet nodded.

Jack came in to return the trash can with a clean one. "Carter, any luck with…"

"No sir. I'm having a hard time coming up with an ally that has both the technology and the willingness to share."

"What about the Japanese? They make those robots and stuff." He moved his hands in the air approximating the size.

"I'm afraid not sir," Sam sighed. "They don't really have the biomechanical technology she needs."

"The Tolan?"

"Possibly, but they've made it clear that they won't share their technology with us under any circumstances."

"As many times as we've saved their asses." He shook his head.

"I know sir."

"I'm going to see if I can't get something rolling." Jack nodded a good-bye.

"Can she hear me?"

Janet shrugged with her eyebrows. "Probably."

"Hey Teg, it's Sam." She felt weird. "This is strange. I mean you're not answering or anything and I'm used to you keeping up your end of the conversation. But I do talk to my plants and they don't answer. Then again you don't want to hear about our last mission, or Mark and the kids. You already know how my dad's doing."

She sat there for a few minutes. "I just want you to get better, as far as your arm goes, we'll figure it out."


	9. Chapter 8

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 8

"Hey?"

Tegan looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway to her lab. She parroted her, "Hey?"

"Do you have some time you can give me?"

"Sure." Tegan cut off the microscope and followed Sam into the hallway. "What are you working on?"

"We think it's a Goa'uld device. SG3 brought it back from their latest mission. I've got it in an iso unit as a precaution until we're sure it isn't going to release a virus or anything strange like that."

Tegan nodded.

"It doesn't look like anything I've ever seen." Tegan slipped her hands into the heavy rubber gloves on the side of the isolation box.

"Not even in any memories or dreams?" Sam queried.

"No." Her brow furrowed in question. "You?"

"No." Sam shook her head. "I was hoping…"

Sam's voice trailed off as the object started to glow when Tegan touched it.

"Sam?" She pulled out her right hand, even as the thick black rubber of the left glove started to melt and burn into her hand and arm. "Sam!"

* * *

Sam looked at Janet who was pushing something into Tegan's IV line and double checking the monitor readings. She closed her eyes and could still see the skin and muscle melting off Tegan's bones and dripping into a gruesome puddle on the stone floor. Sam's eyes shot open and darted from Tegan to Janet when her own name had ruptured through Tegan's vocal cords with the same death cry her voice had contained on the planet. "Janet?"

"I don't know." Janet could see the tears collecting in Sam's eyes and wished she could reassure her. She wished she could set her mind at rest over the situation, but she couldn't. She only had theories and no way to back them up. "It's the third time it's happened. And she remains unresponsive to pain afterwards."

Sam shuddered.

Janet checked her watch. "You need to go get some fresh air, and take a break."

"I'm…"

"No arguments." Janet put her foot down. "It wasn't a suggestion."

* * *

Janet looked up as the door opened ready to tell Sam that five minutes wasn't even time for her to make it to the surface and back without exiting the elevator. Instead she saw Daniel donning a mask and hobbling into the room on his crutches. She quickly moved around the bed and replaced the stool with a chair.

"How's your leg doing?"

"It's fine." He grimaced. "You saw Dr. Scully's report?"

Janet shook her head. "She told me. You really need to stay off it."

He lifted the crutches slightly. "I'm not walking around."

"Sit." Janet pointed to the chair.

"How is she?" Daniel dropped carefully into the chair, biting his lip as he did so.

"She's still unresponsive."

"It's my fault." He berated himself.

"What?"

"It's my fault," He repeated pointing at her missing arm. "If I'd listened to her, and hadn't been so gung-ho about bringing back that recording device. I should have just left it there. Both she and Jack warned me it could be a trap, but did I listen?

"Of course not." He continued. "I reasoned that no one had been there in fifteen to twenty years by the overgrowth. And… oh man… I'm so sorry." He looked at Janet. "I'm so, so sorry. If I could go back…"

Janet just nodded, she couldn't make her mouth form the words her heart didn't want to say.

Daniel thought back to when they'd arrived on the planet, how hot and sticky it had been. The air was thick and their clothes stuck to them in a matter of seconds. He remembered following Sam into the building and hearing Jack asking Tegan about an invitation. He'd heard the uneasiness in her voice, he should have listened. He should have known Tegan well enough by now to know she'd never throw away a mission over something she ate. His mind jumped ahead to that devastating moment when Hek'tu pulled her arm into the tank of acid. The look of shock on Tegan's face just prior to her screaming in agony.

"Oh my God," He wailed slobber and snot escaping from his nose and mouth. "I'm so sorry. If I hadn't touched that recording device we'd never found ourselves face to face with Hek'tu and she'd still be in one piece."

He felt Janet put her hand on his back and jumped slightly. He'd been unaware that'd she'd maneuvered around the bed.

He reached over and touched Tegan's hand. "I'm so sorry Tegan."

* * *

"Tegan."

She looked up when she heard Daniel say her name.

"You might want to check this out."

"What is it?" She glanced from him to Sam. She wasn't entirely sure what planet they were on. "It better not be giant spiders," she warned remembering that encounter.

"It's not." He turned holding a toddler sized lizard in this arms.

"Is that a?" Jack asked not bothering to complete the question.

"A dragon." Tegan responded as if the answer should be obvious.

"But they don't exist. They aren't real." Jack pointed out.

Tegan looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "And I suppose Aliens and Goa'uld don't exist either?"

Jack shrugged.

"He's cute." Daniel cooed as the creature squinted his yellow eyes. "Besides dragons are unprecedented."

"Daniel?" Tegan pointed to the opening mouth just as the small dragon sneezed spewing fire onto her arm. As it engulfed her left arm in flames she screamed out,

"Daniel!"


	10. Chapter 9

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 9

Daniel jumped up when he heard the harrowing cry. His eyes were wide with fear and pain. Janet glanced at him and then up the monitors that were alarming from the elevated heart rate and blood pressure spike. Her fingers found Tegan's radial pulse with expert precision just as her vitals fell back into a normal range. "She's been doing that on occasion. A different name each time."

Daniel grabbed his crutches to help him balance and lessen the pain in his leg. "That's a good sign right?"

Janet gave a tiny shrug that was unnoticeable under her white lab coat. "I'd like to say yes but she remains unresponsive."

Daniel nodded.

"You should probably go lay down for a bit and elevate that leg." Janet pointed to it as Teal'c came in. "And I'd like to keep the number of visitors to a minimum when I can."

"Alright."

"Have I come at an inconvenient time, Dr. Fraiser?" Teal'c asked,

Janet smiled at his formal wording. "Not at all Teal'c, but you might want to have a seat."

* * *

"Any luck?" Sam looked up when Jack appeared in the doorway to her lab.

"No." He raised his eyebrows. "You?"

"No sir."

"Hey." Daniel came in behind Jack. "Any luck?"

"No," They answered in unison.

"You're not supposed to be walking." Jack pointed to Daniel's injured leg.

"Yeah, well I wouldn't exactly call it walking." Daniel held up the crutches to make his point.

"How's Tegan?" Sam pointed to a chair for Daniel to sit in.

"Teal'c is with her, and Janet's hovering." He shrugged with his brow. "Has anyone tried contacting the Tolan, you know just to see if they changed their mind?"

"Yup." Jack leaned against the door frame. "Same old same old."

"What exactly do we need?" Daniel looked at sam.

"A miracle." Jack watched Daniel shift his weight in the chair trying to get comfortable.

"Pretty much." Sam agreed. "I mean even the most advanced prototype prosthetic that we've got isn't going to let Tegan keep her job. We just don't have anything that works like a real limb at this point."

"Well, someone should make one." Jack stated the obvious.

"Even if we could make a prosthetic that worked like the human arm, there's no way to interface it with her brain."

Jack walked over and picked up a pen from Sam's desk. "They need to make a Bluetooth thingy that can communicate between the head and the arm."

"Sir!" Sam's face lit up. "You may have done it again."

"Done what?" He looked at Daniel who shrugged.

"Remember when we went to P7J-989?"

"That's the planet with those nasty virtual reality chairs we couldn't get out of right?" He nodded while making a face.

"They have the technology to interface with the brain, we have the technology to make it wireless."

"Wouldn't it need a power supply?" Daniel interrupted.

"I don't think so." Sam thought for a second. "The body has it's own electrical system and we could tweak it to make it run off the natural elements in her body."

"I hate to rain on the parade here;" Jack waved his had in the air. "But we're still missing an arm in this equation."

"What about Harlan?" Daniel pointed out.

"Our counterparts where supposed to destroy the gate when we came back, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Daniel frowned at Jack.

"I think we could make it sir." Sam was already writing something on a piece of paper. "I can get with some of our technicians."

"I'll talk to General Hammond and get approval." Jack tossed Sam's pen back on her desk and turned to walk out.

* * *

"Teal'c," Tegan's voice broke on the word. "It's me, it's Major Kiser."

"I know who you are Tauri." Teal'c pointed his staff weapon at her, her wrists were chained from shackles that hung from the ceiling of a mothership.

"Apophis is not a God."

"Liar!" He engaged his staff weapon. "Tell me your iris code."

She was thankful that he'd at least forgotten his when he was brainwashed into believing he still served Apophis. "Come on Teal'c you can fight this. There's no reason to resort to violence."

"Tell me what I want to know and I will make your death quick and painless."

"I can't do that."

"Then you must suffer for your insolence."

"After all we've gone through together and you're going to treatment like this. Like I'm some kind of prisoner."

"I am only going to ask one more time. What is the code to the iris."

"Take your best shot Teal'c, you know I can't tell you."

He lifted the staff weapon and aimed at her left arm. The blast blowing away the lower half of her arm.

"TEAL'C!"


	11. Chapter 10

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 10

Teal'c didn't move when Tegan screamed his name. Janet looked up at him before looking at the monitor and noticed only his jaw muscle twitching. "She's…"

"In pain." He finished for her as he stood to move out of the way.

"Yeah."

"She will pull through this Dr. Fraiser. She is strong."

Janet nodded, unable to say more.

* * *

"You need to get some rest." Dana spoke as she walked into Tegan's room. "It's been two days and if you don't I'll find someone who can make you."

Janet nodded.

"I'll stay with her and I'll wake you if anything changes."

"You'd better." It held about as much threat as a worm pretending to be a cobra.

Dana looked over the chart and then sat down beside Tegan's bed. "Go."

"I'm going." Janet stepped back eying the washbasin and natural sea sponge with curiosity. "She…"

"I'm just going to try and get her temperature down a little." Dana didn't even look back as she reached into the basin of water and picked up the sponge squeezing out most of the water. She carefully wiped the soft sponge across Tegan's forehead and cheeks.

Janet watched for several minutes slightly jealous of the Dana's gentle touch. She wondered why she hadn't thought of that, and if Dana would do it for any of her patients or if Tegan was somehow special to her.

"If you aren't out the door in the next five minutes I'm finding someone to make it an order and enforce it."

"I'm going." Janet looked at her watch.

"Then go." Dana dipped the sponge back in the cool water and glanced up at the monitor where Tegan's core body temp was still 102.2. She frowned lightly before turning and pulling out Tegan's chart to see when the last time she'd had an antipyretic had been.

"Two hours ago." Janet answered the question as if she were psychic before she slipped out the door knowing Tegan was in good hands.

Dana closed the chart and pulled the sponge back out. She again repeated the process. "My mom knows some thing is wrong. I called to tell her I'd be working over a bit, she worries if she calls when she thinks I should be home. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she knew I couldn't say, which of course just confirmed her fears. She really likes you a lot. At first I thought she was bonding with you because of Melissa, but you two are so different. In fact you're a little more like me than Missy ever was. She wasn't as much for going after the adrenaline rush, she was a free spirit. I miss her."

She hadn't been surprised when her mom offered to stay with Cassie despite the teen not needing a babysitter. It was still a favor that Janet accepted, giving her one less thing to have to worry about.

Dana glanced at the monitor again. Tegan's temperature had dropped two tenths of a degree. Not really party worthy but it was a start. "You've got to wake up. The longer you're like this…"

She couldn't even think it let lone say it aloud. Tegan was going to be fine. She'd seen her come through some really bad things, and read about her coming through worse. Getting whipped to the point of resembling ground meat was worse than losing an arm in a vat of acid, right? Dana couldn't decide and really didn't want to think about it anymore. "I wish I had something to read. I bet you'd like Alice in Wonderland. You remind me of her."

Dana turned around and noticed General Hammond standing in the observation room. "You can come in if you'd like sir."

He flipped the intercom on. "Thank you Dr. Scully, but I'd rather not. I've got a cold and I understand she needs all her antibodies to fight her current infection."

Dana nodded.

"How is she doing?"

"There really hasn't been any change. I wish I could report otherwise. She's hanging in there though."

"Yeah." He nodded. "She's a tough one."

"Yes, she is."

"I'll let you get back to work." He reached forward and cut off the intercom before stepping back and disappearing into the shadows.

"See, even General Hammond is concerned." She settled on the chair. "But like everyone else. He knows how tough you are."

Dana thought for a moment, General Hammond hadn't sounded like he had a cold, and she hadn't heard anyone mention it. Then again when she thought about it, he never visited anyone who was in an isolation room even if they weren't on isolation. She shrugged and turned her attention back to sponging off Tegan's forehead.

* * *

"Hey." Cassie came into the living room.

"Yes?" Tegan knew without looking up from the New England Journal of Medicine she was immersed in that the girl wanted something.

"I lost my ring down the sink."

"Which sink?" Tegan was hoping for bathroom sink, so it would be as easy as removing the pipe and dumping it out.

"Kitchen."

"Alright." Tegan closed the journal and put it on the coffee table. As the doorbell

rang.

"I've got it."

"Fine, I'm going to go fish your ring out."

"Hey." Dana walked into the kitchen.

"Hey." Tegan had her left had buried to the elbow in the sink. "I guess you were the doorbell?"

"Ding dong." Dana smiled. "Do you need help?"

"Yeah, if you could flip on the light switch."

"Left or right?"

"Right."

Dana reached over and flipped the right switch up, as a horrible and familiar grinding jumped to life.

"Dana!" Tegan screamed out in pain.


	12. Chapter 11

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 11

Dana jumped lightly and looked up at the monitor. Even if she'd been expecting it the terror would have made her jump out of her skin. She looked back down at Tegan and reached out to check for a pain response. "Damn it."

Janet entered the room unnoticed and watched Dana sitting there holding Tegan's hand in hers. Her mind replaying some event. She swallowed back any jealously as she saw Dana shiver. She was a close friend, and she shouldn't be jealous of her. "You ok?"

Dana looked over and nodded unassumingly. She couldn't tell Janet she was thinking back to the staring contests she's had with Tegan. How she'd get lost in those pools of shimmering green. They were friends, and yet somehow she'd found herself very attached to the younger redhead. Even her own mother had all but adopted her. Again she tried to blame that on Margret Scully missing her youngest daughter Missy, but again Dana reminded herself Tegan was more like her than Melissa.

Dana let go of her hand. "There haven't been any changes. Neuro checks are the same. Vitals remain stable, temperature is still elevated, and she remains unresponsive to painful stimuli."

Janet sighed. Despite the rest she'd gotten she was still too tired to hide her disappointment, her fear. "What if she doesn't survive this? What if she's given up?"

"She doesn't give up." Jack announced his presence.

"Sir." Janet squared her shoulders and slid easily back into her professionalism.

"Dr. Fraiser?" The voice came from behind Jack and he stepped out of the way.

Janet glanced at the medic who was holding a mask in front of his face. "Yes?"

"You've got a call on line one, it's on hold in your office."

"Tell whoever it is I'll call back."

"It's your daughter."

"Take it." Dana glanced at the clock. "My first pre-mission physical can wait a few minutes."

"Thanks." Janet nodded and turned stepping around Jack. She moved into her office and spoke into the phone, "Hello."

"Hey mom." Cassie's voice lacked its usual exuberance. "How's Tegan?"

"She's the same."

"Mom?"

"Yes Cassandra?"

"Is she going to wake up?"

"I don't know, honey. I'm not giving up on it happening yet."

"But?"

Janet sighed. "The longer she's like this the less likely it is she'll recover."

"Thanks."

"For?"

"Not lying to me." She paused. "Mom, I love you."

"I love you too Cassandra."

"I'll let you get back to work."

"I'll call you as soon as anything changes, ok."

"Bye."

"Bye hun." Janet hung up the phone still feeling the weight of the world crushing in on her.

* * *

"Janet?" Sam approached the foot of Tegan's bed. "Do you have a minute?"

Janet double checked the monitor as she nodded and moved over towards the far wall where Sam pulled a tube of rolled up papers from under her arm.

"How's she doing?"

"I'm not going to be able to hold off complete amputation much longer. Her temperature keeps spiking, the infection is in the bone, and I'm afraid she could go septic with a microbe we can't fight."

"How much time can you give me?"

"What have you got?" Janet didn't want to say they where looking at less than a day.

"Allies of the Tok'ra have agreed to make her a biomechanical arm. They suggest replacing the humerus with a Naquada implant, but we'll need to do some scans so they can forge the implant. But there are several tricks to this."

"Such as?" Janet watched her unroll the schematics she was holding and place them on an empty table.

"Well for one she's going to need a hole in her upper arm that will allow the prosthetic arm to basically lock in place." Sam pointed to the sketches she had. "Even though their physiology is a little different then ours, they have some procedures that are successful. Daniel's working on the translations as we speak.

"Secondly, she's going to need a small chip implanted in her brain. Again because of the differing physiology the only way to get it to work is to interface it with the technology the Gamekeeper used. They were more than happy to share it with us and Dr. Lee is close to engineering something based on the technology that works with radio signals to interface between her brain and the arm."

"Sam, there's no way she'll survive more than one surgery right now."

"Then I guess you're going to have to do it all at the same time."

"I –"

"General Hammond says to call in anyone you need and he'll make sure they get here with clearance in time."

"Thank you Sam."

"Don't thank me yet." She shook her head. "So how much time?"

"Less than twenty-four."

"Alright."


	13. Chapter 12

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 12

Tegan secured her helmet on her head. She knew she shouldn't be riding, but she didn't know why. It was that anvil in the pit of her stomach again. Don't go there. Don't do that. But she couldn't not go there, she couldn't not do that. Even if she wanted to, she needed to do this.

She revved the engine, feeling it rumble between her legs. She'd missed that feeling; the excitement, the exhilaration, all that power beneath her. It was nothing compared to gate travel, but it was still exciting in its own way.

She accelerated down the road, watching her speed. She knew the bike could easily open up to 130 without her even realizing it. The road was dry, the sun was out, the sky was a cloudless sea of cerulean blue. She checked her speed, 70. Not a mile over or under the posted limit. A Mack truck was heading in the opposite direction on the flat open road. She could make out the fire engine red paint job on the cab. It looked like it was hauling logs. The anvil grew with a shiver.

She'd heard the horror stories of log truck accidents in medical school; the logs rolling off and steam rolling a van with a car load of kids heading home after soccer practice. Or the log that bounced off the top and decapitated the newlywed driver of the car behind it. She'd been lucky and never seen the results of any such accidents.

The truck was closer now. Close enough she could see the silver dog on the hood, the wide open mouth of the chrome grill that was – "Shit!" It was drifting into her lane. They were both going the speed limit, racing towards each other. No time to think only react. She laid the bike down and felt the burning and tearing of flesh as the truck ran over her left arm. Her last thought before the pain completely engulfed her was; Janet's going to kill me.

"Doctor, her pressure and heart rate are rising."

Janet turned and looked at the monitor. "That's odd."

Dana nodded.

"Give her ten of morphine."

"What's odd?" Jack asked.

"That's definitely a pain response." Dana looked from the monitors to Jack. "But when we try, we can't get a response to pain."

"You think her arm just hurts so bad she can't feel anything else?" He questioned thoughtfully.

"Maybe, but it's almost like…"

"Like she's dreaming." Janet finished for Dana.

"Like when she yelled my name?"

"Yeah." Janet nodded at him. "But yours isn't the only time."

"So you think she's some how conscious of who's in the room?"

"It's possible."

"Well, that's hopeful right?"

Janet wanted to say yes, she wanted to believe it was a good sign.

Dana burst any bubbles of hope that were forming. "This is the first time she hasn't yelled out."

"Maybe there are too many people in here." Jack threw out before taking his leave.

* * *

He looked into the rearview mirror to see blue flashing lights on the dashboard. He checked his speed before moving to the right-hand lane. The typical Government Issue sedan followed and he pulled onto the shoulder slowing to a stop.

He pressed a button on the panel of the door and his widow rolled down. "I don't believe I was speeding officer."

"Dr. Gregory Raynes?"

"Yes." Greg looked out the side window for the first time and noticed two soldiers standing there in military fatigues.

"I need you to come with me sir."

"I can't just leave my car here."

"Airman Mitchell can follow us in your car."

"Air Force." He grinned. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No sir, no joke."

"What's this about?" He glanced at his pager lying discarded and turned off on the passenger seat.

"If you'll come with me sir, someone will explain."

* * *

"Janet."

The tone of Dana's voice made her blood run cold.

"I need to show you something." Dana tapped the films she was holding against her leg.

"What is it?" Janet walked away from Tegan's bedside.

"I don't know for sure, but when we were doing the scans Sam needed I ran a PET scan of Tegan's brain on a whim; And well, what I do know is there is a fluid filled sac between the two hemispheres of Tegan's brain."

"A tumor?" The word stuck in Janet's throat like a dry cotton ball in a spider's web.

"Not exactly. If I were to guess I'd say it's filled with the same acid that took her arm off."

"How is that even possible?" Daniel asked in the briefing room after Janet had explained the newest discovery with Tegan's team and General Hammond.

"We deal with 'alien' stuff all the time. And there's the acid Ba'al used on Colonel O'Neill." Janet offered in way of explanation.

"Yeah, but I didn't end up with a sac full of it in my brain."

"Ba'al also gave you the antidote." Daniel reminded.

"So since we know Ba'al isn't going to be of any help;" General Hammond threw the question out. "What do you plan to do?"

"Well, Dr. Raynes is on a plane out from DC as we speak." Janet at least hoped that was the case, she hadn't heard otherwise. "He's being briefed on implanting the device in Tegan's brain. Frankly aside from being a personal friend of Major Kiser's he's the best neurosurgeon out there. I'm hoping he'll be able to remove it intact."

"And if it ruptures?" General Hammond asked the question on everyone's mind.

"There's zero chance of survival." Dana fielded the question for Janet as an over head page called for her to return to Tegan's side stat.

When Janet entered the isolation room Tegan was in the middle of her third full blown seizure since Dana had done the original scan.

* * *

"I understand as a general you don't get told no very often, but that's exactly what I'm telling you. I will not implant some microchip into Tegan's brain without her consent. And you will be hard pressed to find any surgeon who would. This surgery is experimental at best."

"Then do you mind telling me why you wasted government resources to fly out here if you had no intentions of doing the surgery?" General Hammond's bald head was turning red.

"Not to mention left your bride standing at the alter?" Jack added.

"Because she's my friend." Greg looked up as Janet entered.

"Sorry I'm late sir."

"Actually, you're right on time Doc." Jack responded earning him a look of disproval from General Hammond. "Tegan's good buddy Greg here is refusing to do the surgery."

"What?" She dropped the scans on the table.

"We haven't had a chance to talk to him about the newest developments, Dr. Fraiser." General Hammond informed before she could lose what little of her sanity remained.

Janet showed him the scans and explained what was going on as best she could. The man had just learned there were other inhabited planets out there, that his best friend helps to defend earth from unimaginable enemies, as a result she lost her arm and now her life hangs in the balance.

"We don't have a lot of time." Janet finished her spiel. "Her temperature continues to rise, and she's having uncontrollable seizures. In light of the scans I'm thinking the latter is related to the increased intracranial pressure and not the elevated body temperature."

"And increased pressure means increased risk of rupture." Greg studied the scans.

"And rupture means death."

"Why me?" He looked up at Janet.

"You're the best, and she trusts you."

"She's not even conscious."

"Like I said, you're the best. If you weren't…"

Greg looked at his watch. "I'd be standing in front of 250 people in a tuxedo."

"Exactly, so?"

"I can't promise anything." He flipped through the scans again. "I don't even know if I can remove it without it rupturing."

Janet nodded her understanding.

"There's only one way to find out." Jack stood up. "And the way I see it, you're her only option."


	14. Chapter 13

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 13

Greg walked into the OR suite dressed in navy scrubs covered by a sterile gown. His own surgical cap covered his hair and he held his glove covered hands up in front of him. He looked at Tegan lying there with a tube snaking out of her mouth, the anesthesiologist standing just off to the side. Just outside the door Dr. Andrews waited, he'd come in just as Greg was closing Tegan's head. There was no need for him to work on her arm if she wasn't going to survive the brain surgery, though it had been put more delicately when they'd made up their game plan.

Janet glanced across Tegan's prone body to Dana who craned her neck momentarily to look at Sam who was standing out of the way waiting for the tumor. Janet's eyes drifted to the observation room where General Hammond and Daniel sat, Teal'c and Jack were beside them dressed in their battle fatigues ready to go with Sam once she'd acquired the tumor.

"Ready?" Greg asked from his position at Tegan's head, which had been shaved and prepped with a Betadine solution earlier.

Janet nodded, she and Dana were really just there as auxiliary support.

Greg took the scalpel from the scrub nurse and made a precision cut before taking the bone saw. Up in the observation room Jack grimaced and looked away.

Once he could visualize the tumor it was obvious it had grown since the PET scan. Greg took a deep breath and looked at Janet. His blue eyes spoke volumes. He took a deep breath and twisted his head first to the left then to the right. "I don't..."

"You don't have a choice." Janet interrupted before he could tell her all the risks involved even if there wasn't the added threat of this sac being filled with flesh destroying acid.

He blew his breath out behind his surgical mask.

He was the best, this was why he was here. He tried not to think about who was lying on the table, under his scalpel. He refused to think about what could happen if his nerves got the best of him, if his hand jerked ever so slightly while he was holding an instrument inside that delicate tissue. He didn't want to think about how fate had intervened. How his wedding had been put on hold, and not just for anyone, but for Tegan.

"Tegan," He whispered quietly then looked up at the scrub nurse. "Kelly clamp."

She handed him the clamp. He opened and closed it in his hand several times, getting a feel for it. He eyed the sac looking for the best place to start detaching.

"Dr. Fraiser, I'm going to need a steady hand with the suction."

She nodded, she could be steady. Right now this was just another soldier lying there. This wasn't the woman who made her world go round.

"Janet?" Dana was offering her services even if she'd rather someone wake her from this nightmare.

"I can do it." Janet nodded again moving into the best position.

"Alright, I'm going to clamp it and then I'll start cutting it out." Greg steadied his breathing, something he'd learned to control while taking yoga during residency.

Very gently, as if he were trying to pin butterfly wings down without tearing them, he slid the clamp into place and locked it. Surprisingly there wasn't any bleeding as he cut the sac free, almost like a thin skinned blister had formed around the liquid in her brain. The procedure took twenty-five minutes from the time he actually started to insert the clamp until he lifted it out. Carefully he laid it in the awaiting container. Something Sam had had fabricated, glass lined with stainless steel.

"Shit," He murmured as he noticed the sludgy looking green fluid trickle out of a tiny hole. "I need saline."

The nurse handed him the tube to the sterile saline bag they had waiting for one of the worst case scenarios they'd worked out. He started flushing the brain tissue immediately as Janet suctioned the runoff away.

"Get it out of here." She ordered Sam.

Sam was met in the hall by Teal'c and Jack who made sure there was no one in the hall as they quickly made their way to the gate room where the gate was already engaged with the planet that this horrible acid had come from.

"I don't know if we're going to make it." Sam continued to walk as briskly as she could toward the waiting wormhole. The acid had already eaten through the half inch of stainless steel and now all that stood between it and freedom was a quarter inch of glass.

Jack grabbed the jar from Sam's hand and chucked it through the wormhole. They stood there for several minutes waiting to see if any had managed to escape but the ramp and surrounding cement floor seemed unscathed.

"Shut her down." Jack looked up at the control center.

"We're not going through?"

"I don't see any reason to, do you?"

"No sir." She looked at Teal'c.

"It is just as well."

* * *

"How is she?" Sam found Janet as soon as possible after the surgery was complete.

Janet shook her head. "I need to go in and check on her. Dr. Scully can fill you in."

Sam stepped aside so Janet could continue on her way. She found Dana ten minutes later as she came out of Tegan's room. She didn't even have to ask how Tegan was.

"We don't know." Dana spoke softly. "Dr. Ray... Greg flushed the area as soon as he saw the sac had been compromised, but no one saw any indication it was compromised prior to him extracting it. He also couldn't find any evidence the acid had come in contact with her brain."

"That's good right?"

"Yes, but..." Dana looked down the hall away from Sam. "After Dr. Andrews replaced the humerus, and we tried to ween her of the vent her... She's not breathing on her own."

"That sometimes happens though, right?"

"It does, but it's not a good sign Sam. I'm not saying she's not going to come out of this, but she was breathing on her own before surgery, and relatively healthy. After twenty-four hours her chances of recovering will continue..." She took a deep breath. "Look, screw the odds, I've beat them before and she can too. Just be aware that she's far from being out of the woods right now."

"Can I see her?"

Dana shook her head. "Not yet. You need to get some rest. We all do. Janet's taking the first shift with her. After eight hours will reassess the visitor status. In the meantime I know someone else who needs to get some rest."

Sam nodded. "I didn't mean to keep you."

"I meant you." Dana looked at her sternly. "You've had as much sleep as the rest of us, if not less, and after the stress of your last mission you're in more need of it."

"I'll let Colonel O'Neill know how she is."

"And then you'll get some rest?"

"Yeah, I'll try." Sam promised halfheartedly.


	15. Chapter 14

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 14

"Janet."

She lifted her brow but didn't turn toward Dana.

"You need to get some rest, something to eat."

"I'm fine." She sounded more like Tegan than Janet.

"It's been twenty-four hours since her surgery. Which means it's been closer to thirty-six since you've eaten or slept."

"I'm not leaving her until she comes off the vent."

"If you run yourself into the ground I can't take care of you both. Now you hired me because you know I'm a competent doctor. I wouldn't be here otherwise."

Janet nodded. "But I need to be here."

"I can get her off the vent if she starts to breathe on her own, and I'll send for you if anything changes."

Janet shook her head, she hadn't left Tegan's side since surgery that Dana was aware of except once or twice to use the bathroom, despite both her and Greg being there.

"When's the last time you went to the bathroom?" She watched Janet shrug. "You're dehydrated and in no shape to be caring for her. And I can always go find someone who out ranks you to give you orders to rest."

"I'm CMO."

"And I can demote you doctor." General Hammond spoke through the intercom connecting the observation room to Tegan's isolation room.

Janet glanced back over her shoulder, was there no where on base she could get a modicum of privacy? When it came to medical matters her orders often outweighed his, but she also knew he could override her. She gave him what she imagined was the same look Cassie gave her when she told her she couldn't go out with friends before standing up and turning to Dana. "You..."

Dana stopped her with a whisper. "I didn't know he was there."

"You'll get me if anything changes."

Dana nodded.

Janet returned eight hours later looking a little more refreshed. She'd forced down a turkey sandwich, though if asked what she'd eaten she couldn't recall it to save her life. She'd showered and changed and even slept for a few hours, if she subtracted the tossing and turning.

Dana looked up hoping it was Greg coming in to relieve her. "You weren't gone long."

"Eight hours." Janet responded looking up at the monitor and then over to the ventilator. "No changes?"

"Unfortunately not." Dana's eyes traveled the prone body. "Dr. Raynes should be in soon."

"Thanks, I can take over from here."

"I don't mind staying."

Janet shrugged. "You should probably eat and rest."

Dana nodded.

* * *

"Dr. Fraiser?" It was several hours later when Julie opened the door to the room where Tegan lay motionless except for the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. "There's a Jessica Kiser on the phone, she says she's Major Kiser's sister."

"Get a number and tell her I'll call her back."

"I already tried that. She's very insistent that she speak with you." Julie looked at Tegan. "Reminds me of her, she threatened to go to my commanding officer if I didn't get you on the phone. When I informed her you were my CO, she said she'd go over your head to General Hammond."

"She knew his name?"

"Yes ma'am."

Janet shook her head and sighed. "I need someone to stay with her."

"I will."

"Thanks." Janet mumbled as she walked past.

Janet took a deep breath as she picked the receiver up and pressed the waiting line. She waited a full second before speaking. "Fraiser."

"Dr. Fraiser, this is Jessica Kiser." The voice on the other end needlessly introduced her self.

"What can I do for you, Ms. Kiser?" She intentionally withheld pleasantries.

"I'm calling about Tegan."

"What about her?"

"Ok, I don't play these little games, so let's just cut to the chase. I know about her 'injury'." She put emphasis on the word to bring home the point.

"Even if I knew anything about this supposed 'injury,' I couldn't share any information. Patient confidentiality and all." Janet didn't want to get into the semantics of the classified nature of Tegan's job. Still something in her gut told her to tread carefully where the other Kiser was concerned.

"I'm her sister."

"I realize that." Janet's voice softened. "But I can't discuss a patient with anyone not listed on their chart. Nor can I confirm or deny if she's injured or a patient."

"Cut the crap!" Jessica's tone was sharp. "Are you in your office?"

Janet hesitated.

"Look, I know your office line is the only unmonitored line on base and I'm calling from a disposable cell."

"Yes, I'm in my office. But I still can't give you any information."

"You will." Jessica promised. "Just listen, I work for the DOD and I intercepted a fax to one of Senator McKenzie's elite detailing Tegan's injuries. So you've got a mole somewhere."

"And you're telling me this?"

"I was hoping under the circumstances I could get an update on my sister."

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't." It was nicer than telling her to go ask her mole.

"Fine, I can't hold onto this information any longer without putting my job on the line, and I'm sure Senator McKenzie can get to the bottom of it."

"I'm sure he can, worms are notorious for their ability dig deep." Janet slammed the phone down. She wasn't entirely sure just what the other Kiser was offering, or if she was even willing to withhold the report in an attempt to get information but she couldn't put her own job on the line.

* * *

"I need to know." Jack heard Janet's voice as he turned the corner nearing the infirmary. He looked up to see Greg against the wall, and it wasn't a casual lean, it was more a mouse backed against a wall by a lion. Jack immediately felt sorry for the guy, he knew Janet was formidable despite her size. If push came to shove she could put a Marine drill sergeant to shame.

He stopped walking and stood there quietly observing, though he knew Janet wouldn't have cornered the doctor in front of anyone. She was more professional than that.

"I don't know." Greg responded honestly, it was just his luck to be at the wrong place and the wrong time ans wasn't a miracle worker after all. "I wish I did. I wish I could tell you that she's going to be just fine. That it's all swelling from the surgery, or even the tumor. I can't do that."

Janet bent her elbow lifting her hand palm up in frustration before letting it drop. "She doesn't want this. She doesn't want to be kept on life support."

"Then take her off." He didn't want that. He didn't even sound convincing.

"I can't."

"If you have…"

"I don't. She talked to me a few days before this happened. She never signed the papers." Janet lifted both hands and looked at them. "What the hell is going on? She's not running a temperature, her EEG is normal. She should be alert, and talking, and she should be breathing on her own."

"I don't know."

Jack knew he had to do something; Janet was on the verge of hitting someone, throwing something, screaming, or all of the above. He knew instinctively she was about to do something he didn't want to see her do. Her professionalism was about to crack. "Dr. Fraiser."

"What?" She bit out as she turned toward him before blushing apologetically. "Sorry sir."

"I think Dr. Raynes should go back in and check on Major Kiser, while we get some fresh air."

"I don't need fresh air sir."

"I think you do." He nodded to Greg who took the opportunity to slip away.

When they were on the elevator Janet turned to Jack, she knew how much he hated Senator McKenzie. "We've got a mole sir, and they've leaked Tegan's condition to McKenzie."

"I hate that son of a..." He clenched his teeth.

"Hate's such a strong word."

"Not strong enough." He took a deep breath. "How do you know?"

"Seems Jessica Kiser works for him and called to give me the heads up."

"Really?"

"No, more like she tried to use the information as a way to blackmail me into telling her how Tegan was doing. I neither confirmed nor denied the validity of the report."

"When did you get the call?"

"Five, ten minutes ago."

"So." Jack looked at his watch as the elevator opened. "We've got a couple hours before he arrives on base."

"Only a couple?"

"Yup, unless he decides to call out of the goodness of his heart to see how she's doing."


	16. Chapter 15

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 15

"Senator McKenzie, what do we owe this honor?"

"Cut the crap Colonel." Senator McKenzie looked up from where he was sitting as Jack joined the rest of the group which consisted of SG1, General Hammond, Janet and Jessica Kiser. "You're lucky I don't court martial you right now."

"Court Martial?"

"Have a seat Colonel." General Hammond pointed to the only empty chair.

"That's right, Court Martial Jack."

"On what grounds?" He scoffed as he dropped unceremoniously into the proffered chair.

"Misuse of tax payers hard earned money and government funds."

"Because flying out here with in hours of hearing about this for this charade is our tax dollars hard at work."

"Colonel." General Hammond cleared his throat.

"You'd better watch your step Jack. I'm willing to work with you here rather than charging you and Major Carter immediately, and sending Teal'c to area 52 where he belongs." He looked at Daniel. "And put him back to digging in a sandbox. And don't think Dr. Fraiser and General Hammond will get off scot-free."

Jack sat there quietly despite all the insubordinate comebacks running around in his head.

"Just what are you proposing Senator?" General Hammond opened the floor.

"You have four months from today to get Major Kiser rehabilitated and ready to return to work. She has to be able to pass the physical fitness test and firearms proficiency. If she doesn't then you'll each be dealt with accordingly."

"That's completely unrealistic, she's still comatose from surgery." Janet spoke up as if she was sitting at a round table discussion. "Not to mention she's not only recovering from an amputation but from major brain surgery."

"Well then, if she doesn't wake up, you won't have to worry about rehabilitation will you?" He constantly proved how inhuman he could be.

"This is all your doing." Jack caught up with Jessica after the meeting had been dismissed.

"No it's not." Jessica turned on him. "You think he wants to wait to hang your ass out to dry? I was the one who came up with giving her a chance."

"Four months, that's a real chance."

"I can only do so much." She turned her head as Janet walked by. "I want to see her."

"You have a plane to catch, and she's in isolation." Janet spoke as she continued down the hall.

When she looked back at Jack he was grinning.

* * *

"Cassie's on the phone." Julie stuck her head in to find both Janet and Dana in the room. "She wants to know if you can spare a few minutes."

Janet glance at Dana who nodded.

"Fraiser." Janet picked up the phone.

"Hey mom."

"Cassandra." A small smile warmed her voice. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, I was calling to see how you were holding up and get an update on Tegan?"

"She's the same Cassandra."

"And you?"

"I'm fine."

"You sound tired."

"How's school?" Janet changed the subject.

"It's school."

"And Maggie?"

"She's cool, we're having spaghetti for dinner tonight."

"Does she need to talk to me?"

"No, I'll let her know about Tegan." Cassie paused for a minute. "Mom, can I come see her?"

She wanted to spare her daughter from seeing Tegan in her current condition but also knew if anything happened to Tegan she would regret saying no. "I'll see if Sam can come get you after school tomorrow."

"Thanks. I'll let you get back to work, I know you're busy. And mom?"

"Yes Cassandra?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"I know you're in there." Dana slid her hand over Tegan's. "And I know how peaceful it is where you are. Well, I assume from my own experience it is. After my abduction I found myself floating in a small rowboat, there was a person on shore beckoning me back. I didn't know it at the time, but she was actually one of my nurses.

"I don't know," She sighed and shook her head. "Maybe it was all a dream. Something I made up after the fact. Maybe you aren't in there. Maybe you can't hear me. But that's not going to stop me from talking to you. It's not going to stop me from believing.

"You've got so many people standing on shore beckoning you back. You can pull through this." She squeezed Tegan's hand. "I want to believe."

"Any change?" Janet watched Dana pull away and wondered briefly what she'd told her.

Dana shook her head solemnly. "No."


	17. Chapter 16

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 16

Tegan felt a gentle breeze caress her skin like a lover's whisper, the sun warmed her face. Light and shadow of wind tousled leaves danced across her closed eyelids. The air she inhaled was clean and crisp.

She opened her eyes, the sky was azure with too perfect fluffy clouds. She was sitting under the shade of a large oak tree dressed in a white blouse with a white eyelet skirt. Uncut grass grew in green abundance for miles in every direction until it met purple-blue mountains that jutted to greet the sky.

Unsure if it was a dream or reality she looked down, her left arm was gone but she felt no pain. Off in the distance she heard a bark and cut her eyes in the general direction. "Shadow?"

Full of energy and with tail wagging he bounded toward her.

* * *

Sam pulled Janet out of the room when Cassie arrived.

"You look like crap."

"Cassandra!"

"Well you do, you need to get some sleep."

Janet looked at her watch. "I will. Dana has been staying with Tegan at night so I can rest. What's in the back pack?"

"It's a surprise."

Janet raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Just trust me mom."

Janet shook her head slightly before letting Cassie know what to expect.

"I think I can handle it mom, I mean I did see you all half dead and on a ventilator."

Janet nodded, Cassie had seen far more than anyone her age should ever see. Considering what happened on her home planet she'd seen more than anyone should ever see.

Cassie stopped for a second and took a deep breath as she entered the room where Tegan was lying motionless except for the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. She was more of a bluish gray than Cassie was expecting. Thinner, pastier, and Cassie took another deep breath swallowing against her gag reflex as she saw the empty spot where Tegan's left arm should have been.

"Hey Tegan." Her voice cracked and she licked her lips. "Are you in there? Can you hear me?"

She looked at her mom who nodded encouragement.

"You know you really need to wake up, I understand there's this really hot doctor taking care of you and as long as you stay like you are you're missing out on those steamy sponge baths." Cassie shifted the bag on her back. "Seriously though, you've got a lot of worried people waiting for you to wake up. Even Mrs. Scully is all worried about you. I wasn't eaves dropping or anything, I got up to go to the bathroom the other night and her door was open. She's staying with me while mom stays here with you. Any way, she was all on her knees and everything praying for you. Ok, so I eaves dropped a little, but I really was on my way to the bathroom.

"Mom says I can't stay long." Cassie reached forward and touched Tegan's right hand. It was cold, like her real mother's had been after she died. Tears stung her eyes at the unwanted thought. "I – uh, I just wanted to tell you I love you, and I want you to get better. I miss you, and even though Mrs. Scully is a great cook I miss your food too."

Cassie looked around the room before moving to an empty table and pointed to it. "Can I use this?"

"For what?"

"You'll see." Cassie promised. "Just trust me."

"Fine." Janet watched with curiosity as Cassie pulled out a small set of speakers followed by Tegan's MP3 player. She smiled as Cassie plugged it in and turned it on making sure the volume was just loud enough so it could be heard if you knew it was there, the way she remembered it being in Tegan's apartment before they moved in together.

"I have to go now, it's a school night and all. Get better." Cassie said the last part as if she were saying see you tomorrow.

* * *

"Janet, I think we need to talk." Dana motioned to Tegan with her eyes. "I think it's time to consider..."

"No, no it's not." Janet interrupted. She didn't want to think about it, let alone talk about it.

"Janet." It was Dr. Scully talking now. "You need to get some rest, and we'll talk when you get up."

* * *

"Nana?"

"Yes." The older woman smiled. She looked exactly like Tegan remembered, she hadn't aged a second since the last time she'd seen her.

"Am I?" She looked around them. "Dead?"

"No."

"Dying?"

Her grandmother, Irene, laughed and pulled her into a tight hug. "Oh how I have missed you."

"I don't understand." Tegan spoke when she was released.

"I'm so proud of you."

"If I'm not dead or dying then I must be hallucinating."

"No." Irene shook her head. "'If you immediately know the fire is candlelight...'"

"'The dinner was finished a long time ago.'" Tegan finished the quote she'd learned from Daniel. "I am dying, and you're here to help me ascend."

"No. I am however trying to bend the rules without breaking them."

"I –" She closed her mouth. "Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Music? Do you hear the music?"

"No." It was almost a question.

"'Welcome, Inch'Allah, Inch'Allah. Enter one amazing grace is pouring down.'" Tegan closed her eyes feeling the music as it moved through her. "'Fear not this light;We are of this light divine. So come, we move as one. Amazing grace is pouring down. Fear not this light, we are on this light divine. Welcome, enter one.

"'After a storm, I wanna let go of the things that I've done without any worry. I wanna come home, into the light, into the unknown. I want to be shameless, like the sun moving into you. Enter light

"'Welcome, Inch'Allah, Inch'Allah. Enter one amazing grace is pouring down. Fear not this light;We are of this light divine. So come, we move as one. Amazing grace is pouring down. Fear not this light, we are on this light divine. Welcome, enter one.'"

* * *

(Lyrics from Enter One by Sol Seppy)


	18. Chapter 17

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 17

"Janet?"

"Hmm?" Janet raised her eyebrow at the breathy whisper. Still she kept her eyes shut relishing the featherlight touch of warm finger tips brushing hair away from her face.

"I have to go." The voice was more insistent.

"What?" Janet sat up and looked directly at Tegan who was sitting on the edge of the bed dressed in a white blouse with matching eyelet skirt. Somewhere in her brain it registered, she'd never seen that outfit before. "Where?"

"Away."

"Away? Like on a mission? You've never worn an outfit like that off world before."

"Janet."

She didn't like her tone. The way it made her want to bury her head in a porcelain bowl of water and heave. The way it made her brain swim.

"I don't have much time, but I wanted to tell you goodbye."

"We don't say goodbye." Janet insisted. "We never say goodbye."

"I know." Tegan nodded. "Always and forever."

"That's how long..."

"I'll love you."

Janet opened her eyes to find herself in her quarters. The room was dark and despite knowing it was a dream, she could swear she could still smell Tegan in the air around her. It had felt so real and as she remembered the message she was compelled to her feet. Slipping stockinged toes into her military issue shoes she scrambled down the hall ignoring the fact her recently washed hair hung in loose curls on her collar.

* * *

"So I'm not dying?"

"Do you want to be?" Irene asked, her voice full of her Irish heritage.

Tegan looked at her stump for several long minutes, as if trying to decide. Nana hadn't told her she wasn't dying like before. "Whatever happened to 'Happily ever after'?"

"Happiness is what you make it." She smiled. "The rest of your journey is up to you."

"Nana!" Tegan called out after her. "Nana, I don't know what to do."

She started walking towards her.

"To follow me is a one way trip child."

"But I miss you Nana."

"I'll be right here waiting for you when the time is right."

"Are you telling me it's not my time?"

Nana shook her head no. "That's not my decision."

"I love you." Tegan called out to the fading figure. "I love you!"

"I know child." Floated across the wind and then all traces of the old Irish woman were gone.

* * *

Dana looked up as Janet came rushing in making a direct line to Tegan's side immediately noticing the lack of a ventilator tube. "What the hell did you do?"

Dana looked down at Tegan and back up at Janet. "I was just coming to get you."

"After you pulled the plug, against my orders."

"Janet," Dana spoke evenly, trying to calm her. It was almost comical, had Janet not looked so frantic. "She's ok. I'm waiting on blood gas results, but she's breathing on her own."

Janet turned and looked back at Tegan, she honestly didn't look much better than she had on the ventilator. Most patients looked marginally better when they were weaned off, Tegan looked dead. "Sorry."

"It's fine, you've been through a lot."

General Hammond stepped out of the shadows of the observation room and pressed the button so he could talk through the intercom. "Doctors, how is she?"

"She's breathing on her own." Dana answered.

"That's a good sign right?" Jack interrupted as he joined General Hammond.

"A very good sign Colonel." Dana smiled slightly as she nodded.

* * *

Janet sat at Tegan's side trying not to replay the dream she'd just had in her head. But the memory was raw and vibrant. Tegan had looked so good, had smelled so alive. In this room with the quiet sounds of medical equipment around her and the light strains of music rising from tiny speakers she couldn't smell her, all she could smell was antiseptic medicinal odors.

"You can't tell me goodbye in a dream and think that I'll accept that." Janet took her cold limp hand in hers and squeezed. "You are not going to die on me, do you understand?"

She almost expected to hear Tegan asking just who was going to stop her. Instead she heard a lone male voice singing; "'Yes I understand that every life must end. As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh...

"'I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love. Some folks just have one, others they got none.

"'Stay with me. Let's just breathe...

"'...Yeah I don't want to hurt, there's so much in this world to make me bleed. Stay with me. You're all I see.

"'Did I say that I need you? Did I say that I want you? Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see. No one knows this more than me, as I come clean.

"'...Nothing you would take, everything you gave. Hold me 'till I die. Meet you on the other side."

Janet took a deep breath as solemn strings began to play, she immediately knew the song was "The Other Side" by Micheal Nyman, only because Tegan had made her sit through the entire movie "Gattaca" in which the only two things she found interesting were Jude Law and the music. What she wouldn't give to sit through just one more boring Scifi movie with Tegan.

She didn't know how Tegan listened to music so much, each song was a painful memory of what may never be again. She shook her head at the thought, she usually wasn't so pessimistic, but Tegan should have been awake hours after surgery, and days had passed. The only improvement was she was finally breathing on her own.

"'What if we stop having a ball?'" It was the song Tegan sang to her when she asked her to move in with her the final time.

She couldn't listen to this song, she just couldn't think about those happier times right now. She started to stand, determined to break the cycle of depressing songs playing on the MP3 player when she felt Tegan's finger move. "Tegan?"

She jumped to her feet, her eyes searching Tegan's face, locking on her eyes. Her hand moved again.

"'What if your eyes close before mine?'" The song continued playing.

Tegan's eyelids fluttered.

"Tegan?"

She moaned and opened her eyes. "How's –" Her voice cracked and she licked her chapped lips before forcing hoarse words across them. "How's my team?"

"They're fine."

"Daniel, he was..." She glanced around the room.

"He's on the mend." Janet promised.

"My arm, it hurts."

Janet watched as Tegan turned her head to look at the empty area of the bed where the rest of her arm should be. "We'll get through this."

Tegan closed her eyes. "It hurts."

Janet put the button to the patient controlled analgesic in Tegan's hand. "PCA."

Tegan pressed the button.


	19. Chapter 18

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 18

In the three days since regaining consciousness, Tegan hadn't spoken again. She just sat there staring off into nothingness whenever anyone came in to visit her.

"You need to eat." Janet looked at the untouched tray that was sitting in front of her.

Tegan pointed to the port running into her chest and delivering total parental nutrition and lipids into her vena cava.

"I slowed your TPN to half your caloric needs and I'm planning on removing it before we transfer you."

They were moving her out to the infirmary so Janet could keep an eye on her and get back to a semi regular routine. Janet was at least happy to be able to report to Greg that from their interaction that Tegan's higher brain functions were still intact.

Greg walked over to Tegan's bedside, "How are you feeling?"

She stared straight ahead without blinking.

"I really need you to talk to me. I need to know that you're alright and that you are going to be ok. I have patients and surgeries waiting for me."

Tegan continued to stare ahead.

"Well," He picked up her chart and flipped trough it. "Your nuero checks are back to normal." He cocked his eyebrow briefly. "I guess as normal as they can be considering you won't talk to anyone."

He sighed she still wasn't responding to him. "I don't think there's anything else that I can do for you."

He waited for a second giving her a chance to respond. "I'm going to sign off and leave you in Dr. Fraiser's capable hands. I've got my life to get back to."

She waited until he was in the doorway. "I never tried to stop you."

He turned and looked longingly at her, all she had to do was say the word, give him a sign she wanted him to stay, and instead she'd broken his heart with that one statement. He knew she'd never held him back, never gave him a reason to think she loved him more than she would a brother. It was a one sided love affair. It always had been. And now, as he turned to leave he knew it would be the last time he saw her.

"Hey." Janet came in a few minutes after Greg left and as soon as Tegan heard her voice she reached for the PCA pump to deliver another dose of Demerol. "I'm starting to get a complex, every time I come in you go for the pain medication."

Tegan clenched her jaw and looked away, she didn't want to deal with anyone. She wasn't in the mood for pleasantries. She woke up from what she'd hoped was just a horrid string of nightmares only to find out one of them had been real. Although the one about her grandmother hadn't been a nightmare, and she wasn't entirely sure it was a dream, she held on to it as if it were tangible. She'd woken up without an arm. Her entire career, her life, everything was bound to be different. She didn't want to think about it, and here was Janet making jokes. She reasoned they weren't really jokes, but it was easier to be mad and shut down than it was to be strong. She felt like such a coward. But the loss hurt almost as much as the memory, though nothing came close to the actual moment, except maybe the phantom pains she was continuing to have. It was like she was reliving the pain of that moment over and over and over again.

"Dr. Raynes is catching the next flight out." Janet looked for a reaction, anything. Tegan's face remained expressionless. "He says you spoke about 6 words to him."

Tegan closed her eyes, she wanted the pain to go away. The medication only helped to dull it, and it did nothing for the emotional hurt. She felt so much loss she couldn't even think about all the consequences it would have. Her current sex life would be changed forever. No more massaging her lover, right now she didn't even want to look at her. She didn't want to think about what Janet had gone through in the last weeks seeing her come back to earth with her arm all melted and burned, waiting for her to regain consciousness, then finding an acid filled sac in her brain and knowing all too well she may not survive the surgery she had to have to save her life. She should be more cooperative, she should at least acknowledge Janet and her team, but she couldn't. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she did, she wanted to scream and cry and tell someone how horrible it was, but she couldn't. She didn't have the will or the energy. She was yellow bellied, and that made it all that much worse.

"Cassie wants to come see you again."

Cassie, Tegan should at least try, but she couldn't even pull herself together for the teen. It was just too much.

"I'm going to let you rest, give the Demerol some time to kick in, and then we'll move you into the infirmary."

Jack saw Janet walk out of Tegan's room, her shoulders immediately slumped and she hung her head. She was broken, almost as broken as the woman she was caring for. It was like she shared her pain, and in some way Jack imagined she did. "Hey Doc, how's Kiser?"

"The same, though Dr. Raynes has signed off on her care. He did say she said six words to him."

"Did he say what she said?"

"Something personal." She thought back on it for a second. "Something he didn't seem too happy about."

Jack nodded. "How are you holding up?"

Janet straightened her shoulders and ran a hand through her hair. "I just wish she'd talk to me."

"Yeah," He sighed, they all did.

* * *

Sam walked into Janet's office with Cassie. "Janet?"

"Sorry, I didn't hear you come in." She lifted her eyes to Sam and then looked over at Cassie. "Hi honey."

Cassie smiled. "Can I see Tegan?"

"Yeah but she..."

"Sam already told me."

"She's in the infirmary, last bed. Just don't get in Dr. Scully's or the nurses' way."

"I won't." Cassie assured before walking out of the office.

"Tegan?" Cassie rounded the curtain that was only partially pulled around Tegan's bed.

Tegan looked straight ahead, like a shell shocked soldier.

"You look better than last time I saw you." Cassie moved so she was standing in front of Tegan. She just stared right through her as if she wasn't there. "I know you're in there, and I understand if you don't want to talk."

When she didn't respond Cassie sat in the empty chair by the bed and took Tegan's hand in hers. She sat there until her mom told her it was time to go. As she stood up she felt Tegan squeeze her hand. She smiled lightly, she'd known she was in there all along. "I'll see you again soon."

"Did she talk to you?" Janet asked when they reached the hallway, already knowing she hadn't.

"No, but she didn't need to. She'll talk when she's ready."

Janet nodded.

* * *

"Hey." Jack pulled up a chair and sat down. "Guess you're not talking."

He watched her carefully for a minute, waiting to see if she was going to interact. "Good, then you can just listen to what I have to say. If you're not talking because you're feeling sorry for yourself, fine. Go ahead and sulk a little while longer, but then get over it. Major Carter worked too hard on that arm." He pointed to the prosthesis on the bedside table. "For you not to give a shit about getting better. And poor Danny boy, he thinks you absolutely hate him, blames himself for everything that happened. He won't accept the fact that you're not talking to anyone, and not specifically punishing him. And Janet, she doesn't deserve the silent treatment either. If you want to be pissed at someone, you be pissed at me. I gave the order to go in that building. I screwed up. I didn't trust your gut instinct. It shouldn't have happened, if I could go back I'd do it all differently. Hell, I'd make that bitch take my arm."

He thought he saw a reaction to his last statement but couldn't be sure. "Doc also says you haven't been eating and now that you don't have all those nutrients running into your body you need to. So I'm giving you a direct order to eat."

"Colonel," Janet drew his attention. "I need to work with getting her prosthesis on."

"Ah!" He looked at Tegan. "That's my cue to leave." He stood and clasped her right shoulder. "You're going to get through this. You're a fighter and I know you won't give up."


	20. Chapter 19

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 19

"Major Kiser." Teal'c stood at the foot of her bed holding a bunch of yellow-orange Gerbera Daisies in a vase. "I understand this is tradition, though I am not sure how flowers help you to heal."

He put them on the bedside table before looking at her bio mechanical arm.

"A Jaffa would lose his career if he obtained such an injury. It is wonderful that a new arm could be procured for you."

Wonderful, Tegan thought. He wouldn't think it was so wonderful if it was his arm.

"You will make it through this with a flying rainbow."

"It's flying colors." Daniel corrected him.

"Dr. Jackson, how is your leg?" Teal'c turned and looked at the spectacled archeologist on crutches.

"It's fine Teal'c." He pointed to Tegan. "Think you could give us a few minutes?"

"Certainly." Teal'c turned back to Tegan and bowed. "I wish you a speedy recovery."

Daniel moved to an empty chair and sat gingerly in it. "Sorry I got you into this mess."

She wondered how many times he was going to apologize for something he really had no control over. This was the seventh time since she'd regained consciousness that he'd apologized.

"I shouldn't have been so eager to collect the device. I..." He hung his head.

She wished she could tell him not to worry about it, that it wasn't his fault, but she couldn't. Her arm hurt and instead of talking she pressed the button to her PCA pump and closed her eyes.

When she opened her eyes Sam was sitting were Daniel had been and there were wild flowers sitting along side the flowers Teal'c had brought. "I didn't think you wanted lilies, or roses."

She didn't expect Tegan to respond but still paused to give her a chance. "So how's the arm working out for you? I know it may take some getting used to, but I think it's going to work out."

"Hey." Janet approached with a tray. "I hate to interrupt but she needs to eat."

"It's alright. I need to talk to Dana about something and head back to my lab." Sam stood up as Janet pushed the table with her lunch tray on it over Tegan's lap.

"You need to eat." She took the lid off revealing a chicken breast she'd already cut up, mashed potatoes and broccoli.

Janet was standing off to the side with Dana and Sam when Sam suddenly stopped talking, she was looking at Tegan.

Tegan had instinctively reached for the water glass which was sitting on the left side of her tray and her prosthetic arm had moved. She managed to lift the glass from the tray, and started to bring it closer to her mouth when there was a loud pop as the glass cracked and shattered in her hand. Tegan reached with her right hand grabbing the edge of the tray and pushed it as hard as she could sending the contents of untouched food onto the floor. Dishes crashed, breaking as they hit the cement, silverware pinged, and the last sound was the plastic dome to keep the food warm as it spun wildly before falling silent. Janet was the first one to break from the frozen shock.

"Tegan?" She walked over avoiding the mess of food, broken glass and dinnerware on the floor.

"Don't say it. Don't you dare say it." If one more person tried to console her, tried to tell her everything would be fine or she was going to get through this, she would scream. "It's not going to be fucking fine, so don't say it."

Janet couldn't remember if she'd ever heard Tegan use the 'f' word. "Let me help you get cleaned up and in a dry gown."

Tegan watched as Janet pulled the privacy curtain around her before reaching to remove the prosthesis.

"Leave it."

"You've almost reached your two hours for today."

"I said leave it." She growled.

"Fine." Janet threw her hands up in surrender.

* * *

"I'm really worried about personality changes from the brain surgery. She wasn't speaking at all, and now this."

"Being angry is normal Janet. She's woke up to find she no longer has her arm, that it wasn't just some horrific dream." Dana reminded her gently. "Give her time."

Janet nodded.

"Speaking of time, I think you need to take some personal time. Just get away from it for a day."

Janet shook her head in disagreement.

"I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"I doubt that."

* * *

That evening Sam was sitting with Tegan when Jack came in with a plate of cake from the mess hall. "Cake, I brought cake."

Tegan stared straight ahead, even when he waved it under her nose.

Jack looked at Sam. "It's cake."

"Guess she doesn't like your cake sir."

"Fine." He pulled a fork out of his pocket. "I'll just eat it then."

Sam shook her head.

* * *

The next morning, Dana pulled up a chair and sat down after she and Janet had changed her bandages. Dana knew she was in pain despite the extra pain medication they'd given her. "I know you're probably not going to talk to me, so I'm going to talk to you. If you don't want me to talk then you need to tell me so I stop."

She waited a minute, taking Tegan's silence as an invitation to continue. "So, I know you know you need to eat. I also hope you know I'm here if you need an ear. And that's all I'm going to say on the subject...for now.

"Instead I'm going to tell you a little bit about my previous job, and some of the things I saw but couldn't explain. Some I'm still not sure I believe in, like the monster living in lake Okeechobee. That was a trying case, Mulder picks me up last minute on a Saturday morning and I've got no one to watch my dog, Queequeg. So I end up having to take the dog with us..."

Half way through the story she noticed Tegan's eyes were closed and from her breathing pattern she was sleeping. It had been her intent to give Tegan something besides the pain to focus on. "I guess we'll pick up where we left off next time."

"Is she asleep?" Janet asked when she saw Dana looking over her chart.

"Yeah, I regaled her to sleep with tales from the FBI."

"I think it was probably the pain medication, somehow I doubt anyone would find your stories boring."

"She does visit other planets Janet."

"She also still watches Scifi."

"True"


	21. Chapter 20

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 20

After another untouched lunch, General Hammond stood at the foot of her bed trying to look the part of commanding officer.

"You're going to learn to use that arm." General Hammond knew he should go easy on her. But he really wanted Senator McKenzie's mole to have some good news on Tegan's behalf to report. "The government has put too much money into that arm for you to let it go to waste."

Janet looked at General Hammond as if he'd lost every last one of his Texas marbles, but to her credit she kept her mouth shut. The more time that passed the more she realized that Tegan needed a swift kick in the ass or two. So far nothing was working and Janet still hadn't gotten her to eat.

For all the times Tegan had joked about losing a limb being the only way she would ever get out of the military before her commission was up, she realized that even that wasn't the case. The new arm she was sporting was further proof of the expense they would go to, to keep her. Of course on the flip side it also showed the lengths in which her team was willing to go to help her out as well. Still the government owned her until her commission was up or she was dead, which ever came first. She continued to stare through General Hammond until his shoulder's sagged a bit.

He sighed, "It's not just that. I want you to get better."

She closed her eyes, the dozen yellow roses on the table behind him had been his offering of get well wishes earlier. Sam's arrangement of wild flowers had fit her personality better, but it was the thought that counted.

"Tegan?"

She couldn't open her eyes. She couldn't bare to see the hurt and fear in Cassie's eyes. It was easier to press the button on her PCA pump and let the Demerol dull her senses. It did little, but she used it as a refuge.

* * *

"Tegan?" Dana ran over when she saw her trying to get out of bed by herself. "What are you doing?"

Tegan jerked on the side rail that was blocking her way.

"You can't get up alone." Dana reminded her. "You could barely stand when we got you up to walk yesterday remember?"

After General Hammond's pep talk they'd try to get Tegan up and moving without much success. It was one of the side effects of brain surgery, some people had to completely relearn to talk, eat, walk. Currently they weren't sure if Tegan's was a result of the time she'd spent in bed, the lack of proper nutrition, the surgery, or a combination.

"I had brain surgery, my brain wasn't removed."

"So you can talk."

"When there's something worth saying."

"Why do you need to get up?"

"I need to go to the bathroom, and I can walk just fine thank you."

"You've got a catheter in." Dana pointed to the tubing and bag hanging on the side of the bed.

"I just want out of the damn bed ok?" She jerked the side rail again.

"Fine." Dana looked around. "Let me get some help and a chair for you. Promise you won't try to get up without me."

Tegan locked eyes with her and after what seemed like ten minutes but was really only one, she spoke. "I promise."

Dana watched her fall back on the pillows, cursing under her breath as one brushed her stump. She picked up Tegan untouched breakfast tray and shook her head as she walked away.

When Dana returned a few minutes later Tegan was laying pretty much the way she'd left her. "Julie's coming with a recliner and is going to help."

"Sergeant Copley can get me up by herself." Tegan informed.

"You think?"

"Yup, she's taller than you. Besides if you put the chair right here," Tegan pointed to the area beside the bed, "I can get in it by myself."

"We'll see."

"Major Kiser." Julie smiled as she moved the chair as close to the bed as she could. "How are you this morning?"

"I want to get up." She growled.

"Ornery." Julie looked at Dana. "That's a good sign."

"Don't forget I'm still a Major."

"Not when you're a patient in my infirmary." Janet announced her presence.

"Would someone put this rail down so I can get up?"

Julie looked at Janet who gave a single nod.

"Thank you." Tegan barked when the rail finally went down. She pushed her gown between her thighs to give her a modicum of modesty as she scooted to the edge of the bed.

Julie offered her, her hand.

"I don't need any help." Tegan pulled away and stood. She stumbled forward a step and managed to turn a quarter turn. "Head rush."

Julie quickly grabbed Tegan under her right arm and turned her the rest of the way. "Sit before you fall down Major."

A few seconds later Tegan looked up at Janet. "I want this catheter removed."

"When I deem it's safe for you to get up and go to the bathroom on your own I'll think about it." She wasn't about to let Tegan start dictating her care when she was in her current frame of mind.

"Fine, then I'll just pull it out myself." She reached for the catheter with one purpose.

"Stop." Janet caved falling right into Tegan's manipulation but having no other choice then to let her tear her urethra up pulling the balloon tipped Foley cath out. "Sergeant, will you please get a 10 cc syringe and help Major Kiser."

Tegan knew from the use of her rank Janet wasn't happy. Currently she didn't care.

Janet turned to Dana. "I'll be in my office, until my next scheduled physical, if you need me."

Dana nodded.

"So how'd you get stuck with Tegan duty?" Tegan asked when Janet was out of ear shot.

"We flipped a coin and I guess luck just wasn't on my side." Dana winked.

"Whatever." Tegan held her hand for the syringe as Julie pulled the curtain.

"Afraid not Major. You're down an arm at the moment."

"I don't need to be reminded." Her voice fell.

Julie squatted using the arm of the chair to balance for a second. She looked up into Tegan's face. "No, I'm sure you don't; But you do need to be reminded that I'm on your side, we all are."

"I don't need another pep talk."

"Alright." Julie conceded. "How about I empty the balloon and you can pull it out?"

"Fine."

* * *

"Look who's up." Jack walked into the infirmary and made a b-line for Tegan.

She pushed the button on her PCA pump and closed her eyes.

"You could just say you don't want to talk Kiser."

Tegan opened her eyes and glanced at him. She knew he was being his sarcastic self. "My arm hurts sir."

"I'm sure it does Kiser." He nodded solemnly. He hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "Look, I'll go and let you rest."

"You don't have to sir, but I'm not much company right now."

"That's ok." He pulled a stool with rolling wheels over and sat on it.


	22. Chapter 21

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 21

"Hey?" Dana walked over and put a bowl on the adjustable table and moved it over in front of Tegan. "It's time to eat lunch."

"I know they didn't have that in the cafeteria today." Colonel O'Neill peered into the bowl and rubbed his stomach. "Speaking of which, I should probably go see what they are having. Take care Kiser."

Tegan sighed and looked in the bowl.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Water's fine." She picked up a spoon and stirred the steamy thick off white soup. "Where'd this come from?"

"My mom made it for you. It's her baked potato soup, she usually serves it with sour cream, chives and cheese. She also made you a small loaf of banana bread."

"Thanks." Tegan filled up her spoon and blew on it.

"By the way, she told me to tell you it's supposed to have the potato skins in it."

Tegan nodded and put the spoon in her mouth.

Dana walked away and came back a few minutes later with a fresh glass of ice water. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No, thanks."

Thirty minutes later when Dana came back she found Tegan back in bed. "How'd you get there?"

Tegan looked at her like she'd just asked the world's stupidest question.

"I thought I asked you not to get up on your own yet?"

"Marcus gave me a hand."

"Sorry." She gave her an apologetic smile.

"Tell your mom I appreciated the soup."

Dana picked up the empty bowl and nodded. "Want some of that banana nut bread?"

"No." Tegan yawned.

"Alright." She pressed her lips together for a second. "It's in Janet's office if you change your mind."

Tegan moved her sheets around.

"Anything else I can do?"

Tegan thought she was worse than a hovering nurse with too much time on her hands. "Yeah can you let Daniel know I want to see him when he has a few minutes?"

"Sure."

"You wanted to see me?" Daniel straightened his glasses, a nervous twitch.

By her guesstimate it couldn't have been more than ten minutes since she'd requested his presence.

"Look, I'm..."

"Daniel, shut up." She interrupted him before he could go on another tirade about how sorry he was. He looked like she'd just run over his puppy. "I can't listen to you saying you're sorry one more time. It's not your fault. Every time we step through that gate we know what the consequences might be. I know every time I cross that event horizon I might not be coming back. This is just one of those things."

"If I hadn't wanted to bring that recording device back."

"If the Stargate had never been discovered, if I'd never joined the military in the first place. The world is full of ifs. Don't dwell on it. I don't blame you, so stop blaming yourself."

"Are you sure?"

Tegan nodded. "How's your leg doing?"

"Janet wants me to stay on the crutches another week, but I think it's fine."

"Well we both know Janet's always right, or so she thinks." She wasn't about to let Janet over hear her saying she was right.

"How's the arm?" Daniel pointed.

"It's a stump." She forced a smile. "And it hurts like there's still an arm attached."

He inhaled sharply.

"Yeah." She reached for the PCA button. "So, now that we've got that all cleared up, I think I'm going to indulge in some Demerol."

"If you need anything..."

"Yeah." She pressed the button.

* * *

"Morning." Janet plopped a small paper bag on Tegan's over the bed table along with a bottle of orange juice.

Tegan pushed the bag back. "I'm not hungry."

"You didn't eat dinner last night." She pushed it back a little. "You don't even know what it is."

"It's a bacon egg and cheese bagel."

"What kind of bagel?"

"Sesame."

"Damn she's good." Jack walked up.

Tegan picked up the bag and held it out to Jack.

"You need to eat Major."

"I don't want it."

"Then what do you want?" Janet raised an impatient eyebrow.

"I want to go home."

"Really?"

Tegan nodded.

"Alright, but you need to eat and you can't go home while you're still on IV pain meds."

"What are my options?"

"Vicodin, or Tylox?"

"Vicodin."

"Ok, you eat and we'll see how well the Vicodin covers your pain over night and I'll discharge you tomorrow afternoon." Janet offered.

Jack grinned from his position to the right of Janet.

Tegan unrolled the top of the bag and dumped the waxpaper wrapped breakfast bagel on the table.

"Do you need help?" Jack picked up the orange juice bottle and shook it slightly before twisting the top off.

Tegan shook her head. She struggled for a minute before finally getting the wrapper open. She looked at Janet as she took a large bite out of it.

"Happy?" She spoke around a mouth full of half chewed food.

"I've got work to do. Excuse me." Janet chose not to engage in what could turn into a full blown argument.

"I understand you talked to Daniel yesterday."

"I don't want to talk about it sir."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Like I told Daniel, we know every time we step through that event horizon we might not make it back. Things like this happen, it's not anyone's fault."

"Except that bitch who did it." Jack grumbled.

"And she's dead." Tegan reminded.

* * *

"Hey Janet." Sam stuck her head in Janet's office. "How's Tegan today?"

"She's Tegan." Janet rubbed her right temple.

"You ok?"

"Fine." She let her hand fall away. "Just finished the usual you need to eat routine with her."

"I thought she was eating?"

"Lunch yesterday, that's the only solid food she's had since..."

"Since we left."

"Yeah." Janet nodded.

"Oh!" Sam had almost forgotten her main intention of stopping by Janet's office. "General Hammond asked to see you when you have a minute."

"Thanks."

"Come in Doctor." General Hammond pointed to the empty chair facing his desk. "I understand you're thinking of discharging Major Kiser tomorrow."

She thought news traveled fast on base but this was ridiculous. "Thinking about it sir. There are a couple of factors that will influence my decision. I was about to call Peterson to see if I could get a nurse to stay with her while I'm working, at least for a couple weeks."

"That won't be necessary Dr. Fraiser. I'm prepared to give you the time you need to take care of her yourself, that is if it's agreeable with you. I still want you to take care of your administrative duties, staffing and such, from home, which would keep you from having to use leave."

Janet nodded. She just hoped she and Tegan wouldn't end up killing each other before all was said and done.


	23. Chapter 22

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 22

Janet walked into the infirmary the following afternoon hoping to find Tegan had refused lunch. She's already read the notes from that night, and it seemed the Vicodin was helping to control Tegan's pain. Though if she were a betting woman, she'd bet her salary for the next decade that Tegan had only pretended to sleep and dealt with the pain as best she could. If Tegan's slightly elevated blood pressure was any indication, Janet would win that bet.

She glanced at Tegan's untouched tray a small outward frown pulling at her lips, inwardly a small smile tugged. It wasn't that she didn't want her going home. Tegan would be safer at home, away from base emergencies, and alien bacteria and viruses that returning teams could bring back. It was just that there was something off about Tegan. Despite her wanting to go home, and her not eating there was still something that just wasn't right. Janet supposed that was normal after the trauma she'd been through.

"You didn't eat." Janet shook her head.

"Burger and fries, still hot." Jack put the brown bag on the table. "Best burger in Colorado springs, and I had them make it fresh so it'd still be hot."

Tegan looked at Janet and smiled. "If I'm going home I need to get my strength back, and that crap isn't going to do it."

Janet watched her reach into the bag, pull a fry out and bite it in half.

"How much do I owe you?"

"They were giving them away free today." Jack grinned.

Tegan pulled the hamburger out and opened the wrapper. The sesame covered bun was soft and warm from the heat radiating from the one-third pound lean grilled burger. It was topped with mustard a thick slice of tomato, the best dill pickles around, and 3 pieces of romaine lettuce just the way Tegan liked it. Not that she ate them regularly, Cassie still preferred the stuff national fast food chains liked to pass off as ground beef. "Thank you Colonel."

She picked it up with her right hand and sunk her teeth into it. Savoring it she chewed the bite for a minute before swallowing. "Perfect."

Jack smiled and looked at Janet curiously, she wasn't as happy as he'd expected her to be. In fact she didn't look happy to him at all.

"I'll leave you to your lunch." Janet announced.

"Do I get to go home?" Tegan asked around another bite.

"We'll see, finish eating and I'll come back."

Tegan gave a one armed shrug, she was getting good at not moving her left arm at all, whether the prosthesis was attached or not.

Forty-five minutes later Janet re-entered the infirmary to find Sam sitting on the end of Tegan's bed. There was still a quarter of the hamburger and most of the fries sitting on the table that had been pushed to the side.

"You didn't eat it all?"

"I was going to toss it for her, but she said you'd want to see it." Sam stood up.

Janet nodded.

"I'll, uh, I'll leave you two." Sam didn't know why she'd stumbled over her words, only that things hadn't felt that awkward between Tegan and Janet since before they'd admitted they were in love. But what she was feeling definitely wasn't sexual tension.

Janet waited before pulling the curtain around them and pulling her stethoscope out.

"You know..." Tegan started to tell her that Julie had already listened to her lungs just a few hours ago.

"What?" Janet tried to ask softly but it came out more as a clipped bark.

Tegan shook her head. She wasn't going to start an argument before she knew if there was reason to, instead she used her right arm to pull herself forward so Janet could get to her back.

When she was satisfied with what she'd heard Janet put her hand on Tegan's shoulder and gently pushed. Tegan laid back and Janet listened carefully to the front of her chest, pausing for a couple minutes over her heart. She pulled back and replaced her stethoscope in her lab coat pocket, and pulled out a pen light. When she finished her routine examination she looked at Tegan's healing incisions and then pretended to pour over the notes from the night before. She shook her head negatively and closed the chart after making a few quick notes of her own.

"I'm going to be taking care of you."

"I don't..." Tegan knew if she said she didn't need help that it would be an outright lie, so would saying she didn't need anyone taking care of her. "I don't want you using up your leave."

Janet didn't see that coming. "I'm not, I'll be working from home. General Hammond's orders."

Well that settled that, no arguing with the big man.

"You still can't ambulate on your own."

"I'm not arguing with you, Janet."

"I know, it's just I have this conversation all planned out in my head. You don't usually do this so easily." Janet looked at her watch. "I need to talk to Dana, and see if I can find someone who can help me get you home before we can leave."

"Colonel O'Neill and Sam both offered."

"Good, we might need both of them."

"You don't want me going home do you?" Tegan was picking up an odd vibe from her.

"It's not that, you're better off there."

"You're waiting for the other shoe?"

"Something like that."

Tegan nodded. She was too, but it was a different shoe. She didn't know how much longer she could hold the soul corroding anger in, but she certainly didn't want to destroy her friends and loved ones with it.

* * *

Jack and Sam had followed Janet home in his truck and helped Tegan from the garage into the living room where she took up residence on the couch. All the excitement, if it could be called that, had worn her out. Janet had brought a pair of gray Air Force sweat pants and an Air Force academy t-shirt in for Tegan to wear home. She'd managed to stand long enough to shower on base and get changed before she had to be helped into a wheelchair, which was how she'd gotten from the infirmary to Janet's car.

"Do you need something for pain?"

Tegan surprised herself by nodding. "So much for being strong."

"Hey, it's not a sign of weakness." Jack interjected. "We're going to head out and let you rest. It might be a couple days before you see us, but at least one of us will call and check on you tomorrow."

Tegan nodded again. They'd told Janet earlier they wanted to give Tegan some time to get settled at home.

Half an hour later Tegan was dozing on the couch, though Janet wasn't convinced there was any real sleep occurring, when Cassie came home from school. "You're home!"

Tegan twisted her head slightly to look at the teen who had some how transported from the front door to between the couch and the coffee table in a blink of an eye. "Hey kid."

Cassie sported a huge smile. "Mom told me you might be coming home, but I didn't know for sure."

"Me either, but here I am."

"Cassandra, let her rest." Janet called from her office. "You need to do your homework."

"Mom." She huffed, at sixteen some things never changed.

At five-thirty Janet heard Cassie coming down the stairs. "Cassandra can you check the mail?"

"Sure." Cassie continued out the front door and a few seconds later walked past a resting Tegan and into the kitchen.

She was carrying a little bundle of fur in one arm and a couple of envelopes in her free hand. "Look what I found on the doorstep."

Janet glanced up just as the ball of golden brown, tan and dark spotted fur meowed. "Ye-ow."

"What the..."

"It's a kitten." Cassie put the mail on the counter and held it up under it's arms to show Janet it's almost white belly and unusual markings. "Can we keep it?"

"No we can't keep it." Janet argued. "It's probably got fleas."

"It doesn't I checked." She lied, she hadn't had time to check.

"It probably belongs to someone, and it's lost. A cat that pretty doesn't get dumped."

"Well this one did." Cassie wrinkled her brow. "Wait you think its pretty?"

Janet ignored the question. "How do you know it was dropped?"

"Because lost cats don't walk up onto front porches with their own little cardboard boxes."

"Was there anything on the box?"

"No, it was a plain box, no writing, and nothing in it, except spots here."

"Cassandra, you know better than to open strange boxes. It could have been a bomb."

Considering all the things that had happened to her mom and more so to Tegan in the past it was true. "But I knew it wasn't because bombs don't meow."

"They can." Janet reasoned, just relieved Cassie was fine.

"Ok, but this time it didn't. So can we keep it?"

"No, we don't have any food for him or a litter box."

"We can get all those things, and we have that can of tuna in the cabinet." Cassie pointed out as the kitten wiggled out of her hands.

"That can of tuna is for dinner tonight." Janet was still trying to come up with dinner plans.

"Tegan doesn't like tuna."

"She doesn't like cats either."

"She's a vet, she likes all animals."

"Speaking of, where'd the cat go? I swear if he craps in the house..."

"So we can keep it?"

"I didn't say that." Janet reminded her the discussion wasn't over.


	24. Chapter 23

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 23

Tegan was on the couch listening to the conversation between Janet and Cassie over the kitten. Janet had a point, they didn't need a cat. It was during that thought that Tegan heard tiny claws on the couch and felt them grab a hold of her sweatpants. The tiny kitten pulled its self up onto the couch. He was beautiful with the most gorgeous markings Tegan had ever seen. He had a white under belly that faded into a golden tan, he had dark brownish black stripes on his legs tail and chest, with light and dark brown rosettes on his body. His yellow eyes regarded her for a second before he made his way to her chest. He kneaded just above her right breast right below her collar bone for a few seconds before her curled into a purring ball.

Janet was just about to tell Cassie to find the cat and put it back in it's box when the door bell rang. She was certain it wasn't anyone from base. "I've got it."

Cassie threw her hands up in surrender.

Janet walked right past Tegan without glancing over, when she made it to the doorway she peered through the peep hole to see Maggie Scully on the other side. She opened the door hoping she didn't look as haggard as she felt. "Hi Maggie."

"Janet." Maggie smiled as Janet tucked some escaped hairs behind her ear. She held up a basket full of wonderful smelling foods. "I thought you could use dinner."

Janet smiled in relief. "I was trying to decide what to fix when the doorbell rang."

It wasn't entirely untrue, she'd been looking in the cabinets when Cassie had come in bearing mail and a furry animal. "Please come in."

"I don't want to intrude, I just wanted to drop some dinner by."

Janet took the proffered basket and peeked inside. There was enough food to feed a small army, even if Jack and Teal'c were a part of the army. "Please." She hoped she wasn't begging. "I'm sure Tegan would love to see you, and it'd be great if you'd stay for dinner."

"I really don't want to intrude."

"You're not." Janet pointed to the couch were Tegan was on her back with her arm thrown over her face. "Please."

"Alright, but the minute I become and intrusion please let me know."

Janet nodded.

"I didn't know you had a cat." Maggie stood by Tegan's feet.

Tegan lifted her arm and looked at Maggie and then the cat. "We don't."

"How are you?" Maggie asked sincerely even as she realized it wasn't the best question.

Tegan grunted and picked the kitten up by the scruff and placed him on the floor. "Make yourself at home."

Maggie looked at the chair Tegan had pointed to with her eyes before sitting.

"Not you." Tegan spoke to the kitten who was already repeating his earlier kneading ritual on her chest before he laid down and commenced purring.

"He's a pretty cat."

"You found my cat." Cassie walked into the living room and plucked him off Tegan's chest. "Hi Mrs. Scully."

"Hey Cassie."

"He's not your cat." Janet reminded as he wormed his way out of Cassie's hands again. "He looks wild."

"He's not." Tegan responded in unison with Cassie's much more urgent insistence.

"Maggie was kind enough to fix us dinner, and I think enough other things to last us the entire week." Janet looked over at her. "Thank you. I put the lasagna in the oven to keep warm until we're ready to eat."

"You're welcome."

"So," Janet turned to Tegan and the cat that had returned to her chest. "Do we even know he's a he?"

"Yes." Tegan bent her knees making room for her to sit down, which only caused the kitten to shoot Janet a dirty look before he stood up and turned so his back was to her. "He's a male Bengal cat."

"Like the tiger?" Cassie asked.

Tegan shook her head. "It's entirely a domestic cat, not wild at all. I'd guess he's right at eight weeks old. They sell for anywhere from six to nine hundred. And I'd guess with his markings he'd be at the very top of that scale."

"I told you someone lost him." Janet looked at Cassie.

"And he always runs around with a box to take a nap in." She rolled her eyes.

"I didn't see the box." Janet pointed out.

"I left it on the porch."

"It's still out there." Maggie's comment earned her a smile from Cassie and a look only a mother can make from Janet.

"So can we keep him?" Cassie looked at her mother, her eyes pleading. "I promise to take care of him."

"I've heard that one before." Janet thought back on the gold fish that lived all of a week.

"I was ten, give me a break."

"He has to be an outdoor cat."

The cat lifted his head and glared at Janet.

"No." Tegan disagreed. "It's too dangerous with the National forest in our backyard."

"Yeah," Cassie agreed. "Remember the grizzly that got into our trash in the fall? And what about the wolves?"

"So I take it you're on board with this?" Janet looked at Tegan who gave a slight nod. She returned her gaze to Cassie. "His litter box has to be cleaned twice a day, and you're responsible for him. If he starts scratching on furniture it's coming out of your allowance."

"Twice a day?"

"I don't want to smell it, I'm serious. And the litter box stays in your bathroom."

"Ok." Cassie smiled. "So, are you going to let me go get cat supplies?"

"Not by yourself." Janet put her hand on Tegan's knee. "Are you sure you're ok with this?"

"He needs a name." She didn't want to outright commit to keeping the cat.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"His name is spots." Cassie announced.

"Spots is a stupid name for a stupid dog. He doesn't look like stupid, or like a dog to me. Think harder."

Cassie nodded.

"Will you be ok if I run to the store with her?"

"Is Maggie staying?"

"I invited her to stay for dinner." Janet looked to her for confirmation.

"I"m staying."

"I'll be fine." Tegan cleared her throat disturbing the sleeping kitten.

"Cassie, can you grab my purse and keys?"

"Can I drive?"

"Yes, but we're not getting him any of that smelly canned food."

Tegan slid her foot under Janet's rear getting her attention. "Get him something organic, not any of those name brand cheap foods they can lead to Kidney problems. And some toys."

"Something for fleas?"

"He doesn't have any fleas on him." Tegan closed her eyes as he snuggled in deeper into her chest.

"We're going to eat as soon as we get back."

Tegan nodded.


	25. Chapter 24

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 24

"Is she asleep?" Janet asked when they returned with several bags from the pet store. It looked like Christmas had come ten months early for the kitten.

Maggie shook her head no as Janet moved into the living room.

"Cassandra, go ahead and set up his litter box and show it to him. Then we'll eat."

Tegan yawned and looked over. "Did you buy the whole store?"

"You said buy him some toys."

"Some, not the whole store." Tegan watched as Cassie dug through the bags to get the litter and the new box.

"Look at what I got." Cassie smiled as she held the self scooping litter box up.

Tegan looked at Janet.

"She used her own money to buy it. I told her she still has to clean the whole box twice a week."

"And mom won't have to smell it." Cassie smiled. "Come on Galahad, let's go set your litter box up."

"Galahad?" Tegan made a face.

"Yes, Sir Galahad after one of Arthur's knights."

"I know who Galahad is."

"You don't like it?" Cassie asked.

"It's a very noble name." She tried to smile. "I think it's befitting him. Besides, he's your cat."

Cassie picked him up from Tegan's chest and grumbled, "Looks more like he's your cat."

"She's got a point." Janet mused when she'd made it out of ear shot. "He seems to like you best."

"You're just jealous cause he hasn't taken a liking to you yet."

Janet shrugged. "We can go through this stuff after dinner. I'm going to set the table and get it ready."

"Can I help?" Maggie offered.

"No, you've already done the hardest part." Janet smiled.

Janet looked up from putting the lasagna on the table between the French bread and the salad to see Tegan and Maggie making their way into the dinning room. "I was just coming to get you."

"Smells good." Cassie stepped around Tegan and pulled out a chair for her.

"We're managing." Tegan grimaced.

"Water, coke, sprite?"

"Water." Tegan looked at the open bottle of pain pills by her glass. She moved her arm over and sat down before thanking Maggie and Cassie.

"Alright, who brought the cat to dinner? Cassandra?" Janet pointed at the teen with her fork.

"No."

"I didn't bring him." Tegan looked down in her lap at the loudly purring lump. "He climbed in my lap on his own."

"No cats at the table."

Tegan looked over at Cassie and shrugged as Janet got up and put him on the floor. She'd no sooner returned to the dinning room after washing her hands then he was back on Tegan's lap.

"You aren't going to win." Janet picked him up.

"Ye-ow!" He mewed angrily.

"Sorry buddy, but you're not a knight at this table." She talked to him as she walked to her office. She put him on the floor and shut the door barring him from the rest of the house.

Immediately the crying meows started. She ignored him and washed her hands. All eyes were on her when she sat back down. "He'll quiet down in a minute."

Five minutes passed and he continued to cry as if he were being tortured. Janet dropped her fork on her plate. "This is ridiculous."

She stomped over to the door and as soon as she put her hand on the knob the meowing stopped. She waited and after a minute it started back up. She pushed the door open. "Are you happy now?"

He looked at her as if she'd lost her mind before he ran into the dinning room where he climbed up Tegan's sweatpants and curled back up in her lap.

"Round one, Sir Galahad." Cassie drew a score mark in the air as Janet sat back down.

"Dinner was delicious." Tegan thanked Maggie and pushed her half eaten portion away.

Maggie nodded. She hadn't expected Tegan to eat as much as she had. In fact Dana had warned her that Tegan wasn't eating much of anything. It'd been obvious when she first saw Tegan's body features that evening. The lack of weight was more shocking than the lack of hair or missing arm.

"She made brownies for dessert." Cassie announced. Like most teens she thought dessert was the most important part of dinner.

"I'm full Cass."

"Yeah. I know."

* * *

After dinner Maggie helped Cassie clean up dishes before she said her goodbyes and left. Cassie showed Tegan what they'd bought for Galahad, which aside from the normal stuff, food, bowls, litter and the like, they'd only picked up a few furry mouse toys, a ball in a circle and a small scratching post which Cassie was going to set up in her room.

Since she hadn't taken any Vicodin with dinner Janet talked Tegan into taking one after. She was currently sitting on the couch with Galahad in her lap.

"Come on buddy it's time to go to bed." Cassie spoke to the cat.

He lifted his head and looked at Tegan.

"You might as well go," Janet told him. "Because you're not sleeping with Tegan."

The cat sighed and hopped off the couch, though no one was sure he'd actually comprehended what she'd said.

"You should head to bed too."

"I'm not tired." Tegan responded despite drooping lids.

"Come on." Janet stood up.

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"That's fine, but we're leaving the door between us open." She hadn't really planned on it, afraid she'd roll into Tegan's arm in the middle of the night.

Tegan shrugged.

* * *

Neither one of them slept well that night. If Tegan were honest she didn't sleep at all. Janet woke up every hour just to listen to the darkness, waiting to hear Tegan moan in pain.

The next morning Janet stepped out of the closet and into the second Master bedroom where Tegan lay staring at the ceiling. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask if you were hungry."

Tegan pulled a pillow over her head. Maybe if she couldn't see Janet, she'd go away. Of course Tegan never had such luck.

"I can make you anything from a bowl of cereal to a full blown country breakfast." Although she knew she didn't have much beyond eggs and milk in the fridge.

"I'll take a Vicodin and a glass of milk."

"Not good enough."

It was going to be the longest... Tegan realized she didn't have the slightest idea how long it was going to be, just that at this rate it was going to be hell. "Go to work."

"I'm working from home." Janet reminded.


	26. Chapter 25

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 25

After having no luck in getting Tegan to eat Janet called Maggie. After the third ring she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Maggie it's Janet."

"Janet, what can I do for you?"

"You said last night that if I needed any help to let you know."

"Yes, and I meant it. Anything I can do to help you or Tegan."

"I was wondering if you'd mind sitting with her this afternoon so I can run to the grocery store."

"I don't mind at all. What time?"

"Whenever is good for you. I might be gone a while, the cupboards are pretty bare."

"No problem, I can come over around noon."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." Janet said goodbye and hung up.

At twelve o'clock the door bell rang and Janet pushed off the chair. Tegan was on the couch with her eyes closed and Galahad curled up on her stomach. When Janet had asked her about lunch half an hour earlier she'd kept her eyes closed and pretended to sleep. Now Janet wasn't sure she hadn't drifted off. She opened the door and invited Maggie in. "I think she's sleeping."

* * *

Tegan knew this place, the large oak tree, the cloudless azure sky, the grassy fields and the purple-blue mountains. She'd been here before. She looked around expecting to see Shadow. Was this a dream? Had it always been a dream? She wanted to believe her Nana really was an ascended being out there somewhere and had come to see her in her time of need, but if that had been real then what was this?

A sultry bluesy voice floated on the air; "Summer time and the living is easy."

Tegan looked around until she spotted a redheaded woman off in the distance.

"Fish are jumping and the cotton is high. Oh, your daddy's rich and your momma's good looking. So hush little baby don't you cry."

She knew that redhead, she'd seen pictures of her. She looked like her even from this distance, though Tegan knew in her heart her eyes were blue. Her heart jumped into her throat, and she took off in a sprint toward her.

"One of these mornings you're gonna rise up singing. Then you'll spread your wings and you'll take to the sky. But til that morning, there ain't a nothing can harm you, with daddy and nanny standin' by."

The closer she got the less clear the woman appeared. Her arm hurt, but it didn't matter, she had to get to the woman. She ran faster, pushing herself harder even as the voice faded; "With your daddy and 'nana' standing by."

And she was gone.

"Mom!" Tegan yelled out.

Maggie looked over the word find she'd been working on as Tegan jerked awake on the couch. She pushed Galahad to the floor and moved over to the couch. "Tegan?"

"I'm fine." Tegan looked away, her heart still beating like an ape banging away on a pot. Her arm throbbed with each agonizing beat.

"You had a dream, that's all." Maggie assured her.

"Yeah," Tegan mumbled. "A dream."

But she didn't believe it was a dream. A vision? A visitation? She wasn't sure, but it wasn't a dream. What was that song? She knew it. She'd even sung it. But what was her mom trying to tell her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maggie inquired even as Tegan was committing every detail to memory.

"No. It was nothing."

Maggie knew it was rare that Tegan even mentioned her mom, and now out of the blue she'd called out to her in her sleep. It was more than nothing, but if Tegan didn't want to talk about it Maggie wasn't going to push the issue. "You should take something for pain."

Tegan looked at the clock. "It's not time."

"An hour isn't going to matter."

"Where's Janet?"

"She needed to run some errands."

Tegan sat up as Maggie stepped back. She reached for her prosthesis.

"Wait until Janet gets back."

"I – " Tegan started to argue and stopped. "Sorry."

"For?"

"I don't know." Tegan shook her head. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"That I can help you with."

"I can make it on my own." She pointed out.

"At least let me walk beside you."

"Fine." Tegan nodded.

After using the bathroom and washing her hand it hit Tegan just how weak she was. She couldn't even make it over to sit down on the toilet seat, she just leaned on the wall and melted into a puddle on the floor.

"Tegan?" Maggie had heard the toilet flush, the water in the sink turn on and off. She'd waited several minutes for the door to open, but it hadn't.

"Yes?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yes." She was hot, really hot, her arm hurt, and she couldn't get off the floor at the moment if her life depended on it; But she was ok.

"Are you sure?"

No, but she'd locked the door behind her so for now she'd have to be ok. There was no need to worry Maggie. What she was going through was perfectly normal after everything she'd been through. "Yeah."

Maggie stood on the other side of the door listening for any indication of what was going on inside. It was quite.

Tegan leaned her head back and closed her eyes. If she didn't get cool soon she was going to vomit and considering she hadn't eaten, that wasn't going to be fun.

"Maggie?" It came out more as a moan.

"Yes."

"In the kitchen, in the cabinet of drawers, the second one down there's an ice pick." She didn't imagine the eternal fires of hell could be much hotter than she was currently feeling. "Get it."

A few seconds later Maggie returned to the door. "I've got it."

"Good." Tegan sighed. "It's time to test your lock picking skills."

After a couple jiggles Tegan felt the movement of air.

"You don't look so great." Maggie decided not to ask her why she'd lock the door, or lecture her.

"Yeah, it hit me all of a sudden." Tegan opened her eyes and looked up at the concerned look Maggie was sporting. It made her heart ache for something she'd missed in her childhood and until that exact moment she'd never really knew she'd missed it. "I've got to get outside."

"Where's your coat?"

"No coat, just outside." Tegan held her hand out and pulled herself up with Maggie's help.

Maggie assisted Tegan from the bathroom to the back deck where Tegan pushed her self to the railing just before she expelled a stomach full of acid over the side. When she finished she sat on the bench.

"I thought I could avoid that by coming out here."

Maggie nodded. "What can I get you?"

Tegan shook her head.

"I'll be right back."

Several minutes later Maggie returned with a glass of water, a paper cup with green mouth wash in it, and a wet rag. She wiped Tegan's face off and then handed her the paper cup. Tegan wondered where the mouth wash had come from, but remembered Maggie had been staying there with Cassie. She rinsed her mouth out and declined the glass of water.

She almost expected Maggie to sit next to her, or to say something; What she wasn't sure, but something, something a mother would say. She was relieved when she didn't. She just looked out at the tree line and let the silence between them settle.


	27. Chapter 26

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 26

After Janet had put the groceries away and Maggie had left she joined Tegan in the living room. "Maggie told me you got sick?"

"Yeah."

"Pain?"

Tegan shrugged.

"You know I've got Demerol and Phenergan if you need it."

"I don't."

"Alright." Janet sighed as Cassie came in the front door.

"Hey." Cassie dropped her book bag at the bottom of the stairs and plopped into the empty chair.

"How was school?"

"It was school." She answered while looking at Galahad who was sleeping in Tegan's lap.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"Pizza." Cassie smiled.

"I wasn't asking you." Janet gave her an exasperated look.

"Pizza's fine."

"And you'll eat pizza if I order it?"

"No." At least Tegan was being honest.

"You have got to eat. It's probably why you got sick earlier, too much acid in your stomach. Not to mention how weak you are."

"I'm weak because of all the shit my body's been through."

Cassie stood up, in the last year since they'd moved in together she hadn't heard her mom and Tegan argue once. That's not to say they didn't argue, she just hadn't been witness to any arguments and she didn't really like being there for this one. With Tegan cussing it didn't seem like it was going to be a nice argument, so she headed for her bedroom. Galahad got down and followed her up the stairs before he could get injured by becoming a possible projectile.

"Yes, but you've got to eat to get your strength back."

"I'm not hungry."

"No you never are." Janet was tired and didn't want to go down this road right now, but the gate had been opened and it was too late to make a u-turn. "I bought you ensure when I was out."

"That stuff is nasty."

"Yeah, well you've got three options; You can eat like a normal person, you can supplement with Ensure by mouth, or I can drop an NG tube."

"Screw you."

"That's not an option. And I've got back up to help me get it down, all I've got to do is place a phone call."

"Dana?" Tegan growled.

"Her or Julie, both agreed to help."

"Fix whatever you want for dinner."

"Are you going to eat?" Janet waited for a response.

They sat there in silence for the next hour before Janet got up and started banging pots and pans around.

Cassie heard the noise and knew she was better off to just stay in her room until she was called to dinner. She also knew she'd better suck it up and eat whatever it was her mother had decided to fix, whether she liked it or not.

"Cassandra it's time to eat."

"I'll be right down."

"Tegan." Janet walked into the living room and sat a tray on the center cushion of the couch.

Tegan was reclining on the end and opened one eye. There was a small mug of Lipton Noodle soup, a grilled cheese sandwich, a glass of something clear and bubbly, Tegan guessed it was Sprite. Beside the Sprite sat an empty glass, a can of ensure and to bring the point home an NG tube still in it's sterile packaging.

"It's your choice."

"Some choice." Tegan grunted.

"Cassandra you can eat in here or at the dinning room table."

"Ok." She chose the living room although she'd wished her mom had given her the option of eating in her room.

Janet ate alone in the dinning room

Cassie ate in silence while Tegan sat there with her eyes closed. When she went to pick up Tegan's tray, Tegan put her hand on the edge.

"It's cold." Cassie pointed out.

Tegan shook her head.

"Oh well."

After helping Cassie with what few dishes there were Janet walked around and looked at the tray of food. There were two bites taken out of the grilled cheese sandwich and maybe a third of the soup was missing.

"Are you done?"

"Does it look like I'm done?" Tegan answered with a question.

"Yes."

"Well I'm not." She snarled, reached for the bowl and gulped down the contents which only made her stomach hurt.

Janet stared at the tray.

"Now I'm done."

"Fine." She reached for the tray as the phone rang. "Cassandra can you get that?"

Cassie came down with the cordless phone in her hand and held it out to Tegan. "It's Sam."

"Hello?" Tegan pushed the receiver to her ear.

"We drew straws." Sam greeted.

"And you got stuck with the short straw."

"I wouldn't put it that way." Sam reassured. "How's the arm?"

"Which one, the one formerly known as an arm, the one that's fine, or the..." She kept from saying clunky robot arm. "Bio mechanical one?"

"Well I'd rephrase the question, but I have a feeling that's not going to change anything."

"Nope."

Sam was starting to wish she hadn't volunteered to call Tegan and left it to Jack. "Ok. Have you used the prosthetic since going home?"

Tegan looked at the black metal arm on the table. It was made out of alien metals and really didn't weight anymore then what she guessed her biological arm had weighed. It was a scientific wonder. She wasn't too far off from being the 'Six million dollar' woman when she wore it, or would be once she got it to function correctly. "No, not today."

"Is your stump hurting?"

She wanted to thank Sam for calling it what it was, but she didn't. "Yeah, some."

Sam imagined it was more than some. She also was certain Tegan hadn't taken anything for pain recently. "Can I do anything for you? Is there anything you need?"

"Yeah, I need Janet to go back to work and get off my case."

Sam smiled. "Can't help you there."

"No, and some how I don't think General Hammond would respect my wishes on the matter."

"Probably not."

"She's no happier to be taking care of me than I am to have to have her do it."

"She loves, she doesn't mind one bit." Sam offered.

"If you could only be a fly on the wall." Tegan spoke without thinking.

"I think I'll pass. Look, if you need anything give me or one of the guys a call. We'll even come by for a little bit if you need to get Janet out of your hair."

"Thanks."

"I don't mind." Janet spoke when Tegan laid the phone down.

"What?"

"You told Sam I was no happier taking care of you than you are to have to have me take care of you."

"You know what I meant."

"I know that you don't ever want anyone to take care of you, I understand that. But if you think for one minute that I don't want to take care of you, you're sadly mistaken."

"I don't want to argue." Tegan closed her eyes.


	28. Chapter 27

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 27

The rest of the week went no better. Tegan continued to spend restless nights in the normally unused master bedroom while Janet woke frequently listening for signs of distress. Galahad and Cassie slept soundly on the other end of the house. Friday evening Jack called and talked to Janet about getting the team together over there. She agreed it might be nice, not just for her but Tegan could use some company besides her and Cassie and occasionally Maggie Scully.

Tegan was making some progress. She was moving around the house on her own, it was an improvement but she still had a long way to go. Janet was still using the threat of the NG tube daily to get Tegan to eat.

Janet and Jack both watched as Tegan shook two pain pills into her hand Saturday evening and swallowed them with a swig of water. She made a face, she'd never cared for warm water. Jack couldn't count the number of times she'd made the same face after drinking from her canteen.

"Pond water?"

"Yes sir."

"Relax Tegan, drop the sir."

She nodded.

Daniel and Teal'c were out on the back deck freezing their collective body parts off in the chill of Colorado in mid February as Daniel tried to teach Teal'c the finer points of grilling the perfect hamburger. Jack had said he was too old to deal with frost bite and had instead stocked the fridge with various beverages, most of which were bottled in brown glass. Sam had taken over Tegan's normal role and baked a pan of blondies, she was now semi immersed in a street racing video game with Cassie and losing badly.

Tegan shooed Galahad off her lap.

"Where'd that cat come from again?" Jack asked.

"Cassandra found him in a box on the porch." Janet watched Tegan stand.

"Do you still have the box?"

"I put it in the garage." Cassie answered as Sam slammed her lime green sports car into a concrete pillar. "You always hit that one."

"I know." Sam tossed the controller into the basket where they were stored. "I hate this game."

"What can I get you Tegan?"

"Nothing." Tegan looked back at him as she made her way to the fridge. "I need to move around."

Jack watched her pull something out of the fridge and put it between her thighs. He thought it was a pretty ingenious way to open a bottle with one hand, though he'd probably done it himself a time or two if he really thought about it. Then he realized exactly what kind of bottle it was and made eye contact with Janet. He held his own bottle up and pointed as Tegan managed to pry the lid off hers. Janet looked to see what she was doing and quietly got up and moved into the kitchen behind Tegan. Just as the cool round glass touched her lips she felt it pull back.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to drink." Tegan thought the answer was obvious.

"Not this."

"And why not?" Her voice held a certain hostility.

"Not with the meds you're taking."

Sam looked at Cassie. "Why don't we head upstairs and I'll beat you at a game of chess."

"In your dreams." Cassie led the way.

"You shouldn't mix alcohol with Vicodin."

"People do it all the time."

"You're smarter than most of those people."

Tegan pulled the bottle back from Janet.

"You don't drink."

"I can't think of a better time to start, can you?" The question was rhetorical.

"Tegan don't do this."

"What?" She looked at Janet for a minute and then laughed mirthlessly. "You think... Vicodin and alcohol aren't going to kill me."

"You just took two pills."

"No." At this point she couldn't remember if she'd taken two. Janet had written the script for one to two every four to six hours as needed, but she'd only been taking one even when the pain was bad. Of course it was always bad.

"You did. And you don't want to do this." Janet pointed at the bottle.

From the living room Jack was watching to see if he needed to intervene.

"I'm not..." Tegan turned to the sink and tilted the bottle upside down. "I'm not suicidal."

"No, you're just going through a lot."

"I don't even like beer, it smells to bad to drink.." Tegan handed the empty bottle to Janet. "I'm not hungry."

"You didn't eat much for lunch and you skipped breakfast."

Daniel slid the door open. "Burgers are ready."

* * *

Sunday afternoon Cassie plopped into the chair and looked at Tegan who was sitting on the other end of the couch with her cat in her lap. He was her cat because she had found him. Why he had to like Tegan so much was beyond her. She sighed. "Do you hate me?"

"What?" Tegan's head popped to the side so she could look at Cassie.

"You heard me."

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"You've been home a week tomorrow and you've barely said anything to me."

"Come here." Tegan patted the cushion next to her.

Cassie got up and cautiously sat beside Tegan despite her stump being on the other side.

Tegan leaned against Cassie and rested her head on her shoulder. "I've kind of been caught up in my own world lately."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Cassie felt guilty for being so self conscious, especially given the circumstances. "Does it hurt?"

Tegan nodded without lifting her head. "All the time, but don't tell your mom."

"I think she already knows." Cassie warned. "Does it even hurt when you take the pain meds?"

"Some." There was no reason to lie, still she spared her the full truth.

"Is it going to get better?"

"I sure hope so kid."

"And you and mom?"

Tegan was quite for a while. "We're ok."

Cassie let out a doubtful sigh.


	29. Chapter 28

Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 28

Monday morning Janet came out of her office and poured her second cup of coffee. Tegan was sitting at the dinning room table sloshing her soggy cereal around in her bowl. Janet eyed the empty glass beside the bowl and then checked the sink for any Ensure residual, there wasn't any. "You've got an appointment with Dr. Tillman at fourteen hundred hours."

Tegan dropped her spoon spattering milk on the table. She looked up at Janet. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Does this have to do with Saturday night?"

"No. I'm not sure why you do it, but I'm used to you and the alcohol thing." Janet really didn't know what else to call it, but she still remembered seeing Tegan standing on that cliff after Nirrti had almost tortured her to death, holding that bottle of Grey Goose. She picked her mug up. "You know as well as I do that it's mandatory after something like this."

"Something like this? You mean loosing my arm and having a brain tumor?"

The sarcasm wasn't lost on Janet. "I don't make the rules."

"No you just enforce them."

"Says the Air Force Major." Janet shook her head. "You'll start PT on Wednesday."

"Why Dr. Tillman?" Tegan made a face.

"You know she's the only psychologist currently with Stargate clearance."

Tegan thought back to the first time they'd met her. She'd been called in after they'd witnessed the death of another SG team member. General Hammond had just told them about her and Jack chuckled. "Tilly Tillman, her parents must have hated her."

Janet cleared her throat and looked at the doorway.

"And Jack O'Neill is just so..." The tall thin brunette with wan blue eyes yawned before saluting him.

"Captain." He returned the salute. "I might have to see you but I don't have to like you."

"Jack." General Hammond's tone had taken on that fatherly warning he'd perfected over the years.

Jack cut his eyes to Tegan. "What?"

Tegan just shook her head, right before Tilly recognized her. She told her she'd been to several of her lectures in DC. Tegan had just nodded politely. Lucky for her she hadn't actually seen anything when the unfortunate Lieutenant had stepped on a Goa'uld equivalent of an anti-tank spring loaded land mine and therefore was able to forgo seeing Dr. Tillman.

* * *

"Major Kiser." Dr. Tillman stood in the doorway to her office at Peterson Airbase. "Please come in."

Tegan looked at Janet.

"Go on, it's mandatory."

Tegan shook her head as she stood up. She didn't really care for Captain Tilly Tillman. It wasn't a personal thing, she just didn't like anyone who tried to get inside her head.

"Have a seat." Tilly closed the door behind her.

Tegan dropped into the proffered chair.

"The next hour is yours."

A whole hour, sixty minutes of pure torture. She grimaced; thinking of torture brought vivid flash backs of her arm being pulled into the vat of acid.

"Are you alright?" Tilly caught the expression that had flashed across Tegan's features in less than the time it took a humming bird to flap its wings once.

Tegan looked at her but didn't respond.

"Not talking about it, probably isn't going to help."

Tegan took a deep breath and looked at her watch. Three minutes down, fifty-seven to go.

"You know I've already spoken with Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, as well as Dr. Jackson and Teal'c."

Tegan focused on a book on the self behind her. There was nothing special about it. It was hardbound in red with gold lettering on the spine.

Five minutes passed before Tilly spoke again. "Tegan?"

Tilly swiveled in her chair to look at the bookcase Tegan was glued too. She realized she wasn't even looking high enough to spot the autographed copy of one of Tegan's own medical books. "If you see something you're interested in feel free to borrow it."

Tegan blinked and when her eyes opened again they were focused on Tilly who'd turned back to face her. "If you already spoke to the rest of SG1 then you really don't need my chain of events."

"You've just gone through a series of traumatic events. Events that are going to impact your life from here on out."

Tegan looked down at her prosthetic arm that was currently as useless as a unicycle to a fish. This was exactly why she didn't want to be here. The things she didn't want to think about but were constantly staring her in the face.

"You've got to talk about it sometime." Tilly regretted the statement the millisecond it crossed her lips.

The slightest hint of a smirk on Tegan's lips, however brief, had only enforced that regret.

The rest of the hour slipped by with only the sound of the ticking clock to fill the void.

"Well." Tilly stood up. "Your hour's up. I'll see you the same time Wednesday."

"Wednesday?" Tegan followed her to the door.

"Wednesday." Tilly repeated. "Until we make some progress I've got you on the books for an hour three times a week."

Tegan rolled her eyes.

"Dr. Fraiser." Tilly swung the door open. "Same time Wednesday."

"Thanks." Janet looked at Tegan and knew without asking she hadn't opened up.

She waited until they were off base and sitting at a stop light to speak. "You know, if you don't talk about it, it's not going to get better."

Tegan wondered sarcastically how talking was going to help the pain, but she knew what Janet was getting at. "If you want to talk to her, be my guest. I have nothing to talk about."

"I've already talked to her."

Tegan wondered why Tilly hadn't included her when she listed her team members as being people she'd talked to. It was just another justification in her mind to not talk to Tilly, a reason to not trust her. "Good for you."

"What do you want for dinner?" Janet changed the subject, but wasn't really sailing into calmer waters.

"What are my choices? Let me guess, ensure with or without an NG tube."

"Whatever you want." Janet pulled into the grocery store's parking lot. "I'll pick up anything we don't already have at home."

Tegan thought for a minute. "Taco salad."

"Okay." Janet turned the car off. "You're coming in with me."

"No, I'm waiting here." Being on base with her 'new' arm, or even without it, was one thing. She wasn't ready to be in public with it.

"Your body needs to move around more than you are able to cooped up in the house." Janet suddenly realized what her hesitation was. "There are all of five cars in the lot. Everyone is in school or at work."

"I don't care about that, I just don't want to go in."

"Well you can either come in and I'll make it quick, or I'll take my time and you can sit in the freezing car."

"Fine." Tegan got out and slammed the door.

Tegan wandered down the candy isle after they picked up salsa, fresh Mexican cheese, cilantro, and chorizo. Janet followed behind her. Tegan picked up a bag of Tootsie roll pops, a bag of york peppermint patties, and gourmet peanut butter cups, dropping each one into the hand basket Janet was carrying.

Janet raised an eyebrow. "You're going to eat that stuff?"

"If I don't you and Cassie will." When she got in the car she pulled out a grape Tootsie roll pop and sucked on it until they got home where she threw the rest of it in the trash.


	30. Chapter 29

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 29

Friday evening Janet came out of her office to find Tegan sitting on the end of the couch reading the latest "New England Journal of Medicine". The house was quiet, and for just a second she was glad she'd agreed to let Cassie sleep over at Gillian's. She knew Julie wasn't enjoying a quiet house, even if the two teenaged girls where probably locked in Gillian's bedroom talking about boys. It was better than the things some of their peers were out doing. "Hey."

Tegan looked over as Janet shooed Galahad out of the chair and sat down. She really wasn't making any headway in the medical journal, the pain in her arm making it impossible to concentrate.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat."

"I'll eat when I'm hungry." Tegan tossed the journal on the coffee table with a loud smacking noise.

"Your body is still healing. You need the nutrients." Janet raised her voice slightly as she looked at the red hair growing back in on Tegan's head.

"I said I'm not hungry." Tegan didn't raise her voice in kind. To the casual observer she would have appeared apathetic, and in some ways she was.

Janet was tired and it was only the end of the second week. She'd let it slip that morning when Tegan had barely touched her breakfast. She didn't even pull out the threat of the nasogastric tube when Tegan skipped lunch altogether. She couldn't keep fighting her. She knew what she needed to do, what she would do if it were any other patient. But right now, she just couldn't. She'd lost too much sleep. She'd danced this particular dance one too many times. "Fine, I really don't give a shit if you eat or not. We both know it's a form of passive suicide, but go ahead and fucking kill yourself."

"I'm not passively killing myself." Tegan sighed. She just wasn't hungry, and she didn't see the point of eating when she wasn't hungry. She never had.

"I don't care anymore." Janet stood up her voice raised enough that she could be heard in the other duplex had it been occupied. "Do whatever the hell you want. I don't give a flying fuck."

Tegan jumped lightly as Janet's office door slammed shut.

Janet sank down in her office chair and despite herself started crying. She'd just told Tegan she didn't care. But that had been a lie, the furthest thing from the truth. Currently her biggest problem wasn't that Tegan was missing an arm, or that both of their lives would be forever altered because of it. Currently her biggest problem was she cared too much for and about Tegan to be able to properly care for her. If it had been anyone else she would have already put them back in the infirmary and put an NG tube down.

Tegan stood outside the door listening to Janet's almost silent sobs. She hadn't meant to make her cry. She just wasn't hungry, why did it always have to turn into such a big deal? Every time she wasn't hungry or got too wrapped up in her work to eat someone had to make a big deal over it. She knocked lightly on the door.

Janet looked up and wiped at her tear soaked face. She shouldn't be crying; even more so, she shouldn't let Tegan see her crying. Tegan had enough to deal with, without having to deal with her and her stupid breakdown. She heard the knock again, this time louder. "Come in."

Tegan opened the door and moved into the threshold but no further. She leaned against the frame. "I'm sorry."

Janet nodded. She'd only choke if she tried to speak around the emotional knot in her throat. She didn't think Tegan owed her an apology. She knew from past experience and talking to Debbie the one time they'd met, that this was Tegan, it was one of her coping mechanisms.

"Fix whatever you want and I'll eat it."

"Really?" Janet croaked.

"No, I won't eat seafood." Tegan offered a small smile and turned away.

Janet fixed baked potatoes in the oven with the crispy skins, the way Tegan had taught her. It was Tegan's favorite way to eat a baked potato. She steamed some broccoli and pulled out toppings for the potatoes.

With Janet's help, Tegan put a little butter and low fat sour cream on her potato, and put the broccoli on the side. She sat at the dinning room table and did her best to eat. When she'd eaten all she could of the smallest of the potatoes Janet had baked without using a knife. She picked up half of the crunchy skin and ate it with her hand. Janet smiled. Tegan left the other half along with two thirds of her broccoli, but it was a start.

Sunday Dana came over and brought Chinese take out. She hung out for about an hour after they'd eaten before leaving. She'd even gone into Janet's office and listened to what had happened on Friday. She reassured Janet that she was the best person to be taking care of Tegan, and that there was no such thing as caring too much.

Cassie turned on the TV and surfed until she found a movie worth watching. It was some mindless comedy, and she actually thought she heard Tegan laugh once or twice. When it was over Janet announced it was time for Cassie to head to bed.

At eleven she followed Tegan up the stairs and watched as she changed into cotton shorts and a t shirt to sleep in. "Let me give you something to help you sleep."

"I took Vicodin."

"With dinner, that was hours ago." Janet watched her lay down and pull the covers up to her waist. "I know you're not sleeping."

"Fine, what do you have in mind?"

"Demerol and Phenergan."

Tegan nodded. She slept for six hours, by far the longest she'd slept since being discharged from the infirmary.


	31. Chapter 30

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 30

Tuesday afternoon Janet sat in the dinning room, with her empty plate in front of her, watching curiously as Tegan opened the refrigerator door. She'd offered to make lunch for Tegan over an hour ago, and Tegan had declined saying she'd get something later. That usually meant she wasn't going to eat, so Janet was surprised when true to her word she'd come in search of food.

Tegan pulled out the ham, low fat mayo and lettuce before finding the bread tucked inside the bread box. Tegan's back was blocking her view and she looked out the large plate glass door into the backyard.

Janet jumped as the knife clattered off the edge of the plate somersaulting onto the floor.

"Damn it!" Tegan slammed her right fist onto the counter.

"Can I help?"

"No." Tegan picked up the plate and tossed it into the trash with the half made sandwich still resting on its surface. "I'm not hungry."

Janet watched her walk into the living room and take her prosthesis off. She got up and pulled the plate out of the trash and picked the knife up off the floor. She washed the plate and knife and dried them off.

Tegan closed her eyes and listened to Janet in the kitchen cleaning up the mess she'd made. She hated that her temper had shrunken into a tiny kerosene soaked inch worm that played with matches. She despised the fact she couldn't currently take care of herself. Everyone kept telling her it would take time. It had been three weeks since she'd been home, two weeks of physical therapy and sitting in silence with Dr. Tillman three times week, and she didn't see any improvement. She didn't count the fact she had regained most of her strength.

"Hey." Janet broke into her thoughts.

Tegan opened her eyes to see Janet holding plate with a sandwich made just to Tegan's liking on it. One slice of ham, a thin layer of mayonnaise, pepper, stacked high with romaine lettuce and a pickle spear on the side. She'd even given it her own touch by cutting it into four triangles. "Thanks. Sorry about the mess."

"The cat enjoyed the mayonnaise."

"He has a name."

Janet shrugged, if the cat didn't like her she didn't see a reason to pretend she liked it. To her Shadow had been a much better companion.

* * *

Friday morning Tegan was standing in the kitchen when Janet came down. She'd just poured a bowl of cereal and had some how managed to tear the milk carton almost in two sending milk spilling onto the counter and all over the floor. She stood there with milk soaking into her flannel pajama bottoms as milk continued to trickle off the counter. Galahad was lapping up the milk as quickly as he could, and Janet couldn't help but laugh.

"It's not funny." Tegan warned.

"I know." She giggled.

Tegan grabbed a towel and knelt down to soak up the white liquid.

"I've got it. Take your clothes off in here so you don't drip everywhere and go get yourself cleaned up."

When she returned downstairs showered and dressed for her physical therapy appointment Janet had finished cleaning everything up and the kitchen smelled like Lysol.

Tegan looked at her watch. "I don't have time to eat."

"Then we'll just eat an early lunch out after your appointment, and before we head to base to see Sam. I want her to look and see if that arm needs adjusted."'

Tegan nodded.

* * *

It was Wednesday of week five, that's how Tegan was starting to keep track of time. It was pre and post arm time, though she was counting from her discharge and not from the actual event. She wasn't even entirely sure how much time she'd lost from the time she lost her arm until she was discharged from the hospital, it wasn't important.

"Hey." Janet greeted when she saw the bed headed Tegan walk into the kitchen.

"Hey." It was more of a grunt that an actual word.

"How'd you sleep last night?"

Tegan shook her head. "There's a reason I'm not sleeping with you."

"Another rough night?"

Tegan opened the refrigerator door and stuck her head inside. "Yup."

"Pain?"

"Something like that." She pulled out the orange juice and shut the door with her foot. She hadn't taken anything stronger than Tylenol in the last week. It wasn't like the drugs helped much anyway.

"Bad dreams?" Janet watched her put the carton of juice on the counter.

Tegan shrugged and gave Janet a look that told her she didn't want to talk about it before she opened the cabinet and pulled out a glass. She sat the glass beside the carton.

"Need help?" Janet watched as Tegan tried to open the carton with one hand.

"Nope."

"You know it would be easier if you'd use both hands."

"And end up with orange juice all over the floor? I tried that with the milk, or don't you remember?"

"I'm just saying..."

"I know what you're saying, and I'll be glad to use it for everyday tasks once I get used to it, but until then I'm not cleaning crap up off the floor because I can't gauge how much pressure it's exerting."

"Sam says..."

"I know what Sam said. I was there when she tested the arm." Tegan finally got the carton open and lifted it filling the glass half way. "I didn't blame it on the arm."

"I just..."

"I know, and I appreciate it, but I can't deal with it right now."

"I can give you something to help you sleep." She knew the offer was useless, and Tegan only reaffirmed it by shaking her head negatively.

"It doesn't help."

"I know what would help." Janet's voice was soft, almost seductive.

"What?" Tegan asked curiously as she put the carton back in the refrigerator and searched the counter for a slightly under ripe banana.

"Talking to Dr. Tillman."

Tegan gave Janet the most incredulous look she could muster before rolling her eyes. She pulled a banana out of the bunch and used her teeth to pull the peel back. "What a novel idea."

"You know she's there to help you."

"And I don't need to talk to some shrink. I'm fine."

"Of course you are." Janet stood up to refill her coffee cup. "You're still going to see her today."

Tegan gave a noncommittal grunt. It wasn't like she had a choice in the matter.

"You know if I didn't know better, I'd think you liked being such a challenge to her."

Tegan smiled slightly. It was beginning to feel like a game to her, and so far she was winning.

"I'm also adding an occupational therapist to your therapy sessions. I think it's time."

"Good, they can clean up the OJ when I spill it."

* * *

"So, how have you been since I saw you last?" Tilly held her arm out indicating the furniture. She really didn't like the cliché couch scene but had opted for it to help with the comfort of her patients especially those dealing with injuries.

Tegan walked around the coffee table and took up residence on the couch resting her left ankle on her knee. "Do you like to dance?"

"What's that got to do with you and what you're going through?" She wondered if she should have just answered the question. Maybe today was the day Tegan would open up to her.

"Because your job is a lot like dancing. You're the guy, you ask the questions, take the lead and you expect your dance partner to follow your lead by answering the questions."

Tilly nodded. "So, you want to take the lead?"

Tegan grinned for a second and shook her head no.

"Are you ever going to talk to me about what happened?"

"Probably not."

"At least you're honest." Tilly thought for a minute. "You said probably, what can I do to change your mind?"

"Nothing."

"You do know if you don't talk about it, I have no way of knowing if you are fit for duty."

"Yup."

"You do want to go back to work don't you?" It was the next logical question for her to ask, but it was also the question that completely shut down what little communication they'd established.

Tegan leaned forward and studied the orchid sitting on the coffee table as if it were the last plant on earth. She memorized every vein in every petal until Tilly announced their time was up.


	32. Chapter 31

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 31

Half an hour into their eighteenth visit, Monday of week six, Tilly spoke from the stuffed chair she was sitting in. "So, how does it feel?"

Tegan raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You're arm. How does it feel?"

"Like an arm."

"Do you feel phantom pain?"

"I –" Tegan wrinkled her brow.

"You can be honest with me."

"You're just trying to get me to open up."

"No." Tilly shook her head. "I'm curious from a medical standpoint. You're my first amputee."

"Gee, now I feel special." She didn't hide the sarcasm. She pushed her sleeve up until she could get her thumb in the release reader. She carefully laid the prosthetic arm beside her as if it were made of delicate mouth blown glass. "I really don't know how to answer that."

Tilly sat there quietly waiting for her to continue.

Tegan took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She shook her head and opened her eyes again, this time looking at Tilly. Tegan thought back to when she first met Tilly, how she hadn't let Jack walk on her. She'd seen a strength in her, not unlike her own; but now as she looked at her she saw something in her eyes she hadn't seen before. Something deeper than empathy. It wasn't her usual mask, there was truth in her expression. Truth and want. She really did want to help Tegan through this.

"I..." Tegan started to speak. She didn't want this. She didn't want to sit in this stupid little room, with the fake plants in the corner, for an hour three times a week. She didn't want to stare at that orchid on the coffee table for another minute. Mostly she didn't want to look at that expression on Tilly's face for one more second.

Tilly waited patiently for Tegan to continue. She watched the strange greens shift their intensity in her eyes. With a little over twenty minutes of this session left, she might actually break through the surface. As soon as the thought fired in her synapses she saw it, a blink and Tegan's focus went back to the purple orchid.

"Well," Tilly cleared her throat. "That's it for today. Think about my question and we can talk about it Wednesday."

* * *

Wednesday morning Nash, her occupational therapist was in a foul mood. He'd asked her to open a sealed cereal box and she did. She took the box placed it between her thighs and opened it with her right hand.

"You see that guy over there?" Nash pointed to a guy in a wheelchair missing one arm and the other badly disfigured. "He'd give anything in the world to be in your shoes. But he comes here three times a week, never complains, and he works really hard to do anything we ask him to do."

"Have you ever heard me complain?"

"No." Nash shifted his weight. "In fact that's the first damn thing you've said since you've been coming to see me."

"Don't forget who you are addressing, Lieutenant." It was rare for Tegan to pull rank, but she did so calmly.

"Yes ma'am." He muttered.

"How long ago did that Chief Sergeant sustain his injuries?"

"Seven months." Nash swallowed hard, he knew what she was trying to get at.

"I did exactly what you asked me to do. I've never complained once, and unless you let me..." She chose her words carefully, since the true nature of her injuries was classified; "rip your arm off, you have no idea how much pain I or any of your other patients is in."

"Dr. Fraiser tells me you aren't taking your pain meds."

"So that means I'm not in pain?"

"No ma'am, it just means you're crazy." He tried to smile. "Think you can try it again, this time using your prosthetic?"

Tegan took the sealed box from him and pulled on the flaps. A rip tore through the air as the cardboard gave way and the box tore down the side.

"I think we need to cut back on the spinach Popeye."

Tegan just glared in response.

* * *

That afternoon Tilly started where they'd left off, before the silence. Tegan took the chair today and Tilly sat on the couch in her blue uniform with her stockinged legs crossed. "So, phantom pain?"

Tegan looked out the window at the blue cloudless sky, she wanted to go back to that peaceful place she'd been in. The cloudless azure sky, the all too perfect scene, she wanted to see Shadow and her Grandmother again. She didn't want to sit here and play this game anymore. She didn't want to participate in this trite dance, no matter how important everyone else thought it was.

Tilly let ten minutes pass before changing her approach entirely. "I understand SG1 has resumed their mission status."

Had this been news to Tegan she might have been pissed to hear it from Tilly. But Tilly also knew Tegan wasn't the type to react, she played everything so close to the chest.

"How does that make you feel?"

Tegan smirked. "How does it make you feel? That's so cliché. I mean you couldn't come up with a better question? The great Dr. Tilly Tillman stumps patient with traditional psychological question."

"Why do you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you." Tegan tore her eyes from the window only to lock onto the pale blue orbs belonging to Tilly. She felt guilty, almost. "I think this is stupid. We've wasted close to seventeen and a half hours in this office."

"You wasted, there's no we. I'm doing my job."

"Yup." Tegan leaned forward and ran her index finger along the hard stem of the orchid. She was quiet for a minute before she spoke again. "It's the only living thing in this room."

"Care to elaborate?"

She hadn't meant to say it out loud. "Plant, only living plant."

"Back peddling." Tilly pursed her lips and nodded before scribbling something on the loose leaf paper she had sitting on top of Tegan's folder.

Tegan could imagine what she was writing, something about being suicidal or wishing she wasn't alive. Maybe even that she was numb. She wished she was numb. Numb to the emotional pain, numb to the physical pain. "They can't wait for me to come back to work. No one even knows if I will."

"Do you want to go back to work?"

Tegan sat back in the chair leaving the orchid in peace. She really wanted to crush the miniature bloom in her hand until it was a shriveled mess. She didn't know where the thought had come from, only that more and more often she was finding herself suppressing feelings of destruction.

"It's a simple yes or no question." Tilly probed.

That was it. That was all the insight Tilly was going to get from Tegan for the day. Maybe even for the week. It was a start, even if it was cryptic.


	33. Chapter 32

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 32

Friday evening around 1800 hrs Sam showed up with two large pizzas and a movie Janet and Cassie had been wanting to see.

"What happened to you?" Cassie inquire about the gash in Sam's forehead that was currently being held together with Setri-Strips and a couple sutures.

"I – uh..." She glanced over at Tegan who was sitting on the couch and looking at her expectantly. "Door, big door, on base."

"Liar." Tegan responded as Janet came down the stairs.

"Pizza and a movie." Sam held out the boxes.

"Great." Janet smiled lightly while looking at Sam's injury.

"I know you guys are jumping, it's not a big deal." Tegan watched Sam hand the pizza off to Janet and walk into the living room. "So who put the sutures in?"

"Teal'c." Sam raised her eyebrows and quickly decided she shouldn't do that again.

"A door, on base, and Teal'c put in the sutures. Nice."

"It was a tree, off world. I wasn't paying attention, tripped on a root and slammed into the tree. Teal'c put in two sutures so we didn't have to come back right away."

"He did a better job then I could've done."

"I don't know about that." Janet looked at his handy work.

"An ape could put in sutures better than I can right now." Tegan grumbled and stood up. "I'm sorry, I'm going to grab a slice and head to bed. I'm tired, and obviously I'm not good company tonight."

Sam nodded.

"She's been like that since Wednesday morning. I think she and Sergeant Nash butted heads during her PT." Janet explained when Tegan had gone upstairs.

"She's going through a lot." Sam understood it was going to take time. "Do you think she even wants to come back?"

Janet glanced at Cassie who was pulling a slice of pepperoni pizza out of the box. She canted her head to her office and followed Sam inside. "Does she have a choice?"

"I don't know." Sam shook her head. "But if she did?"

Janet nodded. "I don't think she would have made the ape comment if it didn't bother her that you all are out there without her."

"Well;" Sam pointed to her head. "It's not like we don't need her. And Colonel O'Neill keeps reminding me she's not one to give up."

"Yeah, but..." Janet sighed. "I'm trying to tell myself it's what she's going through, but she's not Tegan right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't put my finger on it, but it's like her fight is gone." Janet shook her head. "I don't even know if that's what it is."

"She did completely shut down after Nirrti almost..." Sam's voice trailed off, no one ever really knew how to phrase that one.

"This is different, somehow." Janet's brow wrinkled in a mixture of confusion and concern.

"Give it time."

"You sound like Colonel O'Neill."

"I know." Sam smiled lightly.

* * *

"Janet tells me you're isolating more and more." Tilly spoke from the couch during their appointment.

It was the middle of week nine. Three more weeks had passed without her making any progress with Tegan and she was seriously thinking about handing her off to a colleague. Unfortunately that wouldn't do Tegan any good, and it wasn't even a possibility considering the classified nature of her case.

She had some notes sitting on her lap. "I've managed to read through part of your file You've changed a lot since joining the SGC. Your previously spotless record now has mention of insubordination. You not only seem to attract trouble, like your first Goa'uld attack, but you seem to seek it out. Like the time you turned yourself over to Nirrti after Colonel O'Neill had ordered you and Major Carter back through the gate. You have a bit of a hero complex."

Tegan listened but didn't contradict her.

"Well, maybe it's a superhero complex. You know like Superman slash Clark Kent, or Spider-man slash Peter Parker. You want to be the hero but you don't want the glory. Most people do heroic things for the glory. Not all of them... but..."

"I'm not a hero, I do my job."

"Your job?" She realized immediately there was no past tense used.

"Yes."

"'Leave no man behind', but you wouldn't understand that."

"Hero complex," She repeated softly. "Is that why Hek'tu chose you?"

Tegan closed her eyes, an attempt to block her out.

She sat there and watched Tegan, her eyes moving behind her lids as if she were reliving that moment. She supposed she probably was, but Tegan was a warrior through and through, she wasn't going to just open up and tell her what it was like.

After forty minutes Tilly broke into Tegan's thoughts. "Would you be open to having one or more of your team come to one of your sessions with you?"

Tegan opened her eyes and looked curiously at Tilly.

"You might feel more comfortable talking with a comrade."

"Not with you in the room." Tegan shot her out of the sky.

* * *

Week eleven Janet came out of her office to find Tegan lying prone on the couch tossing a racquet ball in the air and catching it with her right hand.

"You're going to be late for your appointment with Dr. Tillman."

"No I'm not." She caught the ball and tossed it again.

"It's almost 1400 hours and it's Monday."

"Yup." She tossed the ball again tapping it ever so lightly on the ceiling.

"You have an appointment at 1400 hours."

"Nope."

Janet caught the ball mid air and looked down at Tegan.

"I canceled."

"You mean rescheduled."

"No, I'm pretty sure I mean canceled."

"Just because I'm going back to work Wednesday doesn't mean you can go around canceling your appointments."

"It's a waste of time." Tegan covered her eyes with her arm.

"If you would talk to her, it might not be a waste of time." Janet put the ball on the coffee table. "Did you cancel all your appointments with her?"

"Yup."

"Well, I'm going to call and un-cancel them."

"Janet!" She threw her arm back.

"You don't have to go today, but the counseling is mandatory. I didn't make the rules."

"Then don't enforce them. I'll go back when I'm good and ready, and I'll take full responsibility for any flack in the meantime."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

"I'm talking about going back."

Tegan nodded.


	34. Chapter 33

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 33

"Sam, hey." Janet spoke into the phone. "I just wanted to let you know she's not going to be ready. - I know it doesn't change anything, I just thought you all might want to know. - Yeah, Jessica called again. She was trying to get information. She reminded me Tegan has only three weeks left." Janet heard something outside the door. "I've got to go, bye."

Tegan knocked on the open door. "Hey, I'm going to go for a walk."

Janet nodded. She hoped she hadn't heard any of her conversation and silently reprimanded herself for not shutting the door.

Tegan slipped on her running shoes, she'd been sliding them on and off already tied to save herself the frustration of trying to get her bio-mechanical fingers to work right. She made sure she had her cell phone and wallet before heading out. As soon as she got to the end of the block she slowed to a walk and slid her cell phone out of her shorts' pocket.

"Kiser." The female voice on the other end picked up.

"Jessica, it's Tegan. What the hell is going on?"

"I'll have to call you back." She hung up without further explanation leaving Tegan standing on the corner with her phone in her hand.

Several minutes passed before it rang. "What the hell?"

"Sorry, I had to get out of the office before I could talk to you."

"What's going on? And why can't you talk in your office?" Tegan looked up at the gray sky that was beginning to fill with pockets of boiling black clouds. "Better yet, what's happening in three weeks?"

"You don't know?"

"Start from the beginning, and make it quick. Who do you work for?"

"I work for the department of defense under Senator McKenzie."

That explained a lot. Tegan would have hung up the phone right then if she didn't need information.

"And three weeks from tomorrow you have to pass the Air Force fitness test."

"Or what? I'm out of the military?" Her voice held sarcasm, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, the thought scared her.

"Yes, but it's more than that. Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter will be brought up on charges for misappropriations of government funds. Teal'c will be taken to a holding cell at area 51, and Dr. Jackson will be lucky to be able to find a job in anthology or archeology."

"This is a joke right? You work for Senator McKenzie?" It wasn't April first, but it would have been one hell of an April fool's joke.

"It's not a joke, he has the ammunition and plans to disband SG1 once and for all."

"And you're in on this."

"He wanted to give you 3 months, I talked him into four."

"And that makes everything alright. You really thought an extra four weeks would make a difference? You stupid little bitch." She yelled into the phone. "You know what, just stay the hell out of my life and stop calling Janet to find out how I'm doing. I don't ever want to talk to you again."

She disconnected the phone just as the sky tore open. She looked up at the rumbling sky and yelled at whoever would listen. "Bring it on!"

The clouds answered with a bright flash and a loud crack right on it's heels.

* * *

"Dr. Tillman?"

"I'm sorry, I'm locking up for the day. You can come back in the..." She turned to find Tegan standing there, her clothes and shoes completely drenched. Her wet hair was still creating small rivers down the contours of her face. "Major Kiser, you're soaked."

"It's raining outside."

"Come in." She unlocked the door to her office and held it open.

Tegan's shoes squished as she walked in.

"You're going to catch your death." Tilly couldn't even count the number of times her mother had told her the same thing. She reached for the phone.

"There's no correlation."

"I know." Tilly nodded. "Yes, this is Dr. Tillman, I need a pair of scrubs and a couple of blankets brought to my office ASAP." She hung the phone up. "Please have a seat."

"I'll ruin the furniture."

"I didn't pay for it." Tilly grinned lightly.

Tegan continued to stand and thought she could actually like Tilly as a colleague, probably not so much on a patient doctor basis; but then why was she here?

"So, did you walk here?" Tilly broke into her silent thoughts.

"Bus."

"Top of a double decker?"

"Funny." Tegan didn't laugh.

"You're the one who's standing there dripping on my carpet." Tilly opened the door when she heard the knock. "Thank you airman."

She handed the blue scrubs and gray wool blankets to Tegan. "I'll wait outside."

A few minutes later Tegan opened the door dressed in the scrubs. "Thanks."

Tilly nodded and shut the door behind her. "Couch?"

Tegan nodded.

"You canceled your appointment yesterday. I missed our staring contest."

"Everything I say is confidential, right? You can't tell anyone."

"Not even my pet goldfish, unless you are going to harm yourself or someone else."

Tegan nodded. "I found out today that everyone I trust has lied to me."

"About?"

"You tell me." Tegan's tone changed.

"I don't know."

"You talked to my entire team and Janet, surely one of them told you."

"Told me what?"

Tegan took a deep breath and blew it out through her teeth. "Senator McKenzie made a visit to the SGC before I regained consciousness; he informed SG1, General Hammond and Dr. Fraiser that I had four months to be ready to return to work and pass the Air Force's standard Physical Fitness test or he was going to dismantle SG1 for good. He followed with additional threats of court martialing Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, as well as sending Teal'c off to area 51 and giving Dr. Jackson the boot."

"And no one told you about this?"

"No." Tegan studied her face. "No one told you either."

Tilly's left eye lid twitched.

"If they didn't tell you, it's not breaking patient-doctor confidentiality."

"No, and I'm just a little put out that they didn't."

"You're pissed. Admit it."

Tilly nodded once.

"But you can't say anything, this stays between us."

She gave Tegan a disapproving look, but ethically she was bound. "Of course, one condition."

"No conditions. You mention it, I'll have your license yanked so quick you'll be reeling for a month."

"No," Tilly corrected. "You will keep all your appointments with me from here on out, or I'll have to speak up under the assumption you've become a danger to yourself."

"I don't have any appointments with you."

"Your appointments have all been reinstated, same time as before. How long do you have?"

"Three weeks from tomorrow."

"I'm not so sure you're not already putting yourself in danger."

Tegan shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"You say that a lot, don't you?"

"What?"

"That you're fine."

"Everything is relative."

"Will in this room, that word is off limits. Got it?"

"Fine." The corner of Tegan's mouth curled slightly.

"So, how are you feeling?"

Tegan's mouth formed the 'f' before she stopped herself. "In what way?"'

"Physically? Emotionally? You pick."

"I'm mad. Well, I'm not even sure mad encompasses what I'm feeling."

"I'm not making light of your feelings, but is it possible they did this to protect you?"

"It doesn't matter why they did it. It matters that they did it."

Tilly watched as Tegan reached for her ringing phone and hit the silence button. "I guess the world doesn't need saving."

"Not like they'd let me help if it did."

"I noticed you said they wouldn't let you as opposed to the fact you're not physically able."

Tegan shrugged, it was a minor technicality in her book.

"Is that what this is about?"

"What?"

"Trying to prove that you're still a hero."

"I've never been a hero."

"No?"

"No."

"I've got quite a few people including a school full of children who would beg to differ."

"It's the job."

"What about the time you disobeyed direct orders and turned yourself over to Nirrti to save Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson?"

"That again?"

"Yes." Tilly waited patiently.

"I told you before, leave no man behind."

"But this..." Tilly leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees. "This three week deadline isn't leaving anyone behind."

"They're my team, my family."

Family, that spoke volumes and it wasn't lost on Tilly. "But they lied to you."

"Yeah." Tegan sighed as her phone began to ring again.

"Somebody's missing you."

"Probably." Tegan cut her phone off. "And I should go, this isn't exactly office hours."

"I'll see you tomorrow at..."

"1400 hours." Tegan stood up.


	35. Chapter 34

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 34

When Janet realized it was raining she went out and drove along Tegan's normal route to pick he up, when she didn't see her she began to worry. Back at home she called Sam when she realized Tegan hadn't beaten her back.

"Carter."

"Sam, Tegan's missing."

"What do you mean she's missing?" She put her hand over the mouth piece of the phone. "No not that one. I'll take care of it in a minute"

"She went out for a walk right after we hung up, and then it started raining so I went out to pick her up and she's not on her normal route."

Sam glanced at her watch.

"Can you track her?"

"No."

"Why not?" Janet was beginning to get annoyed at Sam's apparent distraction.

"You know it's only for emergency use."

"This is an emergency."

"I'd have to get General Hammond's ok, and that's not exactly the point. We had a lightening strike and can't access over half the mainframe including the tracking controls. I'm sorry Janet. Look I'll call you as soon as we get it back up and running, unless I hear from you first."

"Alright."

"I'm sure she's fine."

"Yeah, thanks Sam." Janet hung up tried her phone for the fourth time.

* * *

As soon as she saw the taxi pull into the driveway Janet ran to the door and pulled it open. Relief flooded her face when she saw Tegan climb out of the cab.

"I was –" She noticed the scrubs.

Tegan hadn't thought that far in advance, if she had she probably would have put her wet clothes back on before making the trek home.

"Where were you?" Janet closed the door behind them. "I was worried."

"I went for a walk, got caught in the rain, hopped on a bus that ended up near Peterson so I went in to reschedule my appointment with Dr. Tillman who gave me dry clothes."

Succinct and to the point. Either it was true or she'd really thought up a great lie. Janet doubted it was a lie, she couldn't think of a plausible reason Tegan would need to come up with such an elaborate lie, and it wasn't like Tegan to conjure up lies. She could dance around and bend the truth on occasion, but it wasn't like her to flat out lie.

Janet noticed she'd followed Tegan to the closet housing the passageway between the two houses and Tegan was already stepping through. "Tegan?"

"Space," was the only word she said as she reached for the sliding door.

"Dinner will be ready in forty-five minutes." Janet managed to get out before the door was completely shut.

"I thought I heard Tegan come in." Cassie observed as she sat down to dinner.

"She did."

"She's not in the living room, and I didn't see her up stairs."

Janet handed the bowl of mashed potatoes to her and tried not to look in the direction of the other duplex. "She'll come to dinner if she's hungry."

"Don't hold your breath mom."

"I said if she's hungry."

"I know you did." Cassie looked toward the living room as Tegan came around the corner. She wasn't sure if she'd come from next door, upstairs, or had somehow materialized right there. "Nice of you to join us."

"Cassandra." Janet shook her head.

Cassie shrugged as Tegan sat down. She looked mad, and tired, and she didn't say a single word through dinner. Cassie could feel the tension in the air and wondered what was going on, but even she knew better than to ask. After dinner Tegan disappeared again.

* * *

"Have a seat Major."

Tegan sat on the couch and waited for Tilly to start asking questions.

"Are you still mad?"

"Are you?" Tegan turned the question around.

"A little bit." Give a little, get a little. She hoped. "I feel they withheld important information."

"Well," Tegan grinned. "Maybe they were protecting you."

"What do you mean?"

"I certainly wouldn't be sitting here talking to you if you'd known."

Tilly nodded.

"And yes I'm mad, seething actually. But I'm trying to use it to my advantage."

"In what way?"

"I've got a lot to accomplish in the next three weeks."

"You're not seriously thinking you can pull this off are you?"

Tegan nodded.

"What are the new standards?"

"To get one-hundred points I have to run one-point-five miles in under eleven-fifty-four, complete forty-two or more situps in a minute and forty or more pushups. Plus a waist circumference of under twenty-nine and a half inches." The last part was already in the bag.

"What'd you do last time you ran it?"

"Nine-forty-five, forty-eight situps and forty-four pushups, but I was taking it easy on the push ups."

"The situps shouldn't be a problem right?"

Tegan stood up and moved to the floor careful to use only her right arm getting down.

"You favor your prosthetic, does it hurt?"

Tegan looked up from were she was sitting and regarded Tilly for a minute. It would be so easy to say no, or ignore the question all together, but wasn't that why she was mad at SG1 and Janet? They'd withheld information and she hadn't even directly asked them a question. "Yeah, it hurts."

Tilly watched as Tegan tried to cross her arms over her chest. It was difficult to find a comfortable position, finally she just went for it ignoring the pain that scrunched her features as she started to curl up and down in situp like fashion. After ten she stopped and looked at her watch, she was going to have to more than double that pace if she was going to make it. "Running is the easy part."

Tilly watched Tegan move into position to do a pushup, but she couldn't even put partial weight on the prosthetic. She put her arm behind her back and did ten one handed.

"Too bad McKenzie won't let that fly." Tegan stood up and moved back to the couch.

"Most guys couldn't pull that off."

Tegan smiled quickly, she knew she wasn't like the guys in more ways than just her sexual organs.

"Can we go back to phantom pain?"

"As in do I have it?"

Tilly nodded.

"Yeah I do. It sometimes feels like my entire arm is on fire."

"Percentage wise, how often is sometimes?"

"Ninety-six percent."

"Most people would look at that as being sometimes it doesn't feel like that."

"You'll find I'm not most people."

"No," Tilly agreed. "I think I've already figured that out."

"I'll see you Friday, same time."

Tegan shrugged.


	36. Chapter 35

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 35

For two weeks Tegan had been going to all her physical therapy appointments, and hadn't missed another appointment with Dr. Tillman. She'd managed to finally tell Tilly what she remembered about the day she lost her arm. It really didn't help to talk about it, but whatever; she had to be cleared by the head doctor before she could return to work.

She still wasn't talking to Janet, but for some reason spent the evenings on the couch reading current medical texts and helping Cassie with any homework the teen brought to her. She was pretty sure Cassie was aware of the tension, but she never said as much.

At night she would wait until she was fairly certain Janet and Cassie were both sleeping soundly before she would creep downstairs on 'her side' of the duplex and work on whatever she needed to do. Most nights she'd move into the garage and force herself to do as many pullups, situps, and pushups as she could. She was trying to prepare for anything Senator McKenzie might throw her way. She knew he was capable of anything and she wouldn't put anything past him. Tonight however her stump was hurting more than it usually did, so she'd opted for something requiring less physical exertion.

She closed her eyes and centered her breathing , this was just as important as being able to pass the standardized physical fitness test.

"You can do this," she whispered to herself.

She looked at the instruments in her hands, two hemastats, expired black silk sutures, a banana lying on the table in front of her. "Well, here goes nothing."

The first suture ripped right through the yellow skin. "Damn it."

The hemastat in her left hand kept getting stuck in the closed position, but as soon as she switched hands it would work fine in her right hand, but then the set from her right hand would get stuck. She knew it was the prosthetic and not the tool. The second suture tore through and she growled. The third suture did the same. "Hell."

Eventually she'd messed up every part of the first banana she could find to stitch and pretty much went through the sailor's bible of swear words without a single successful suture. The second banana went no better and she was starting to realize her frustration was soon going to wake up Janet or Cassie, plus it wasn't helping her get any better.

She gathered her supplies and hid them in the bread box, just in case Janet woke up and came looking for her, before going out for a night run.

When she returned all the lights were out, and there was no sign anyone had awoken. She retrieved her supplies and started by trying to open and close the hemastat with her prosthetic. She growled when her first attempt failed. She closed her eyes and visualized doing it several times, and when she opened her eyes the jaws of the hemastat were open. She closed them and opened them again. The third time she concentrated on it a little too hard and found herself unable to open them. "Alright, don't over think it."

She opened them again and picked up the suturing silk while listening to one of her professors speaking in her head. "Remember human skin is pliant, but you must be gentle."

A smile spread across her face, she'd just done three single sutures, a running suture, and a whipstitch. With a week to go she might actually pull it off.

Knowing Janet and Cassie would be up soon she took the bananas to the other kitchen and peeled them. She tossed the insides into the blender and carefully hid the Frankenstein skins in a milk carton she found in the trash.

"Banana chocolate protein shake?" Tegan asked the sleepy-headed teen as she held up the blender.

"You didn't put raw eggs in it did you?"

"Just one scoop of protein powder.

"Alright."

Tegan glanced at Janet who was in the process of starting the coffee maker.

Janet shook her head. "You're up early."

Tegan shrugged before splitting the contents of the blender between two tall glasses.

* * *

"You look tired."

Tegan crossed her legs at the ankle.

"That was an opening for you to tell me why you're tired."

"I know, but you have to do better than that."

"How are things going?"

"They're going." Tegan looked at the orchid.

"That wasn't really an answer."

"It wasn't really a question." Tegan looked up into Tilly's pallid blue eyes. "Ask a proper question and you'll get a proper answer."

Tilly couldn't stop the right corner of her mouth from curling in a partially amused smile. "Alright, how's your arm feeling?"

"It hurts."

"Keeping you up?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"Damn you're good when you try." Tegan smiled weakly. "I haven't been doing a lot of sleeping. Three to four hours after Cassie goes to bed at night."

"What time does she go to bed?"

"2200 hours most nights, lights out at 2230."

"And you get up when?"

"2400, 0100, somewhere around there."

"Are you still working on showing Senator McKenzie up?"

"Something like that."

"How's it going?"

"I'm making progress. I should be able to pass the PFT without any problems."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe your team has it under control?"

"Yeah." Tegan thought for a second. "But what if they don't, or they think they do but it doesn't work. I can't let them take the fall for me."

"Have you talked to them?"

"No, they come over individually about once or twice a week."

"What do you talk about?"

"Nothing, it's usually a staring contest."

"Have you thought about forgiving them?"

"For lying to me?"

"I was thinking more about for letting that happen." Tilly pointed to her arm.

"They didn't let it happen." Tegan tried to read her, figure out where she was going with this before she could get there. It was like chess, she was never very good at chess.

"Right, but you still need to forgive them."

"I don't blame them."

"Maybe not, but did you ever think maybe they blame themselves. Maybe that's why they keep coming every week even when you won't speak to them."

"They're looking for absolution?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. And you're the only one who can give it to them."


	37. Chapter 36

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 36

"What's going on between you and Tegan?"

Janet turned to look at Cassie. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. I know she's not sleeping here, and she'd not talking to you."

"Her arm's been bothering her at night and she doesn't want to keep me up, so she's been sleeping in the other room."

House, Cassie wanted to correct her but didn't. "With the door shut?"

"Like I said she doesn't want to disturb my sleep."

"She's not there you know." Cassie shoveled a spoonful of Cheerios into her mouth and a drop of milk dribbled onto her chin.

Janet didn't need the teen filling her in, she'd heard the Porsche start up just after midnight and take off down the street. "She'd dealing with a lot and needs some space."

"Yeah." Cassie stood and picked up her bowl before heading to the sink. "I mean it's not like she's found someone else."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means what it means." Cassie looked at her watch before heading for the door.

When Janet came home from work it was to an empty house. Cassie was at Gillian's studying and she assumed Tegan was next door. The doors between the houses were bolted and she respected the boundaries Tegan was putting between them, even if she didn't understand them. She did however walk around and see the Porsche parked back in the garage.

That night Janet lay in the darkness listening, waiting to hear Tegan moving around on the other side of the door. She wondered what the following day would hold.

* * *

"Well," Senator McKenzie smiled. "I guess if Major Kiser isn't going to..."

"I'm sorry." Tegan walked into the briefing room in her battle dress uniform. She looked around the table to see Janet, Sam, Jack, and General Hammond all in their dress blues. "Looks like I'm under dressed, but am I late for the party?"

Sam and Janet exchanged bemused glances before Sam smiled in Tegan's direction.

"I think my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail."

"Actually you're just in time for me to start handing out court martials and to ask that you return your unauthorized prosthetic."

"Unauthorized?" General Hammond's balding head turned crimson.

"That prosthetic can not be used on anyone else." Sam defended.

"Which is just another nail in your coffin Major Carter. You wasted tax payers money so your friend could have an arm that won't even allow her to continue her career."

"Those materials didn't cost us one red cent." Jack kept his snarky retorts to himself.

"Let's see, there was the power to start up the Stargate, man hours for getting the metals, man hours to build the arm, money to fly a brain surgeon in and out." He ticked them off on his fingers.

"To do a life saving procedure." Janet interrupted.

"Regardless it was all for naught."

"Care to let me prove whether 'it was all for naught'?" Tegan challenged.

"Your doctor hasn't given me any indication that you're up for the challenge."

"My doctor also hasn't examined me in over three weeks."

"Tegan I..." Janet refused to shrink under her gaze, but she still gave into it. "She's right, I haven't."

"I did however see Dr. Scully this morning and she doesn't see any reason why I can't do the physical fitness test." Tegan hoped briefly that Dana didn't catch too much flack for her decision.

It was time for Janet to glare, and glare she did. Tegan looked at General Hammond and tried to block her out. "With your permission sir, I'd like a chance to prove I'm fit for duty."

"Permission granted, we'll reassemble in the gym in one hour."

"Tegan," Janet called after her in the corridor.

"I'm busy, I've got something I need to do in my lab."

"Technically you haven't been released for duty." She continued to talk as Tegan hurried down the hall.

"Then I've got something to do in my quarters."

Janet stopped as Jack came up and made a sound of a falling bomb by blowing air through his lips, and then imitated an explosion while using his hands to animate the whole thing.

"What?" She glared at him.

"Crash and burn."

"I didn't see her stopping to chat with you." She accused.

"No." He shrugged.

"Did we even know she was on base?" Daniel asked as he, Teal'c and Sam approached.

"Wait, she lives with you." Jack looked at Janet when everyone confirmed they didn't know Tegan was going to be there.

"I think we've exchanged three sentences in the last three weeks."


	38. Chapter 37

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 37

Tegan stood there in her Air Force blue BDU bottoms and regulation black t-shirt. She watched as Senator McKenzie approached the group with a smug smile on his face. She wanted to reach out and smack it off his lips.

"Major Kiser, I meant to tell you earlier how glad I am to see you're doing so well."

Tegan wondered if politicians were even capable of speaking the truth.

"I really don't think all of this is necessary." He waved his hand in the air. "I'm sure your physical therapist and your doctor could simply tell me you're not fit for duty"

He looked briefly at Janet. "I mean there's no need to disgrace yourself, and I'd really hate to see you get hurt. You can just give me the prosthetic and I can take care of everything else."

"In your dreams, Senator." She smiled.

"Suit yourself Major."

"I have one question."

"Yes?" He waited patiently.

"Where's Jessica Kiser?"

He was surprised it wasn't a question regarding what he expected her to be able to accomplish. He thought for a second before the light bulb clicked. "She handed in her resignation three weeks ago."

Tegan gave a partial nod before heading to the treadmill where she'd run her one and a half miles. This was going to be easier than the hilly terrain she was used to traversing.

Senator McKenzie handed a stop watch off to his lackey. "Ready?"

Tegan nodded.

"Go."

Jack was running a second stop watch to make sure McKenzie didn't pull a fast one. When she hit the one-point-five mile mark Jack smiled. "Impressive Kiser, you shaved a full three seconds off your best time."

Tegan nodded and moved to the hardwood floor. That was the easy part, and somehow everyone was completely aware of just how hard the next two challenges were going to be. Tegan looked up at Sam. "You want to count me off?"

"Sure." Sam got down and put her knees on Tegan's feet with just enough weight to keep them on the floor when she would sit up.

"Ready." Tegan focused on Sam and tried to ignore the pain in her arm.

"Go." Senator McKenzie's lackey started his stopwatch.

"One, two, three, four... thirty-nine, forty, forty-one... forty-five, forty-six – "

"Time."

Tegan wanted to tell him to eat that, but she still had her biggest obstacle in front of her; pushups. "Ready."

"Go."

Again Sam counted her off, and this time she only used the pain to fuel her. "Thirty-nine, forty, forty-one."

"Time."

"Well done Kiser." Jack congratulated her as she stood.

"She still has to prove herself on the shooting range."

Tegan paled slightly, her arm was hurting so bad, from the three weeks of solid training and just having finished the physical fitness test, she thought she was going to vomit. She'd completely forgotten about weapons proficiency and hadn't touched a gun in over four months.

"No sweat." Jack reassured her as they approached the elevator bay several paces behind McKenzie.

After donning her protective eye and ear gear, Tegan picked up the P-90 and turned to face the target. She used her shoulder the gauge the weight before flipping the safety off. She pulled the trigger. "Fuck!"

Janet cringed, it wasn't a word she was used to hearing from Tegan, and she knew it was laced with pain.

She'd missed the target not even hitting the area surrounding the black silhouette on the paper. The gun had kicked causing the prosthetic to shove back into her raw stump.

"I think we've seen enough Major." Senator McKenzie didn't even hide his gloating.

"Give her another chance, she hasn't even held a gun since she lost her arm." Jack rallied for her.

"Fine." He turned his attention to Tegan. "You miss again..."

"I won't." She growled.

She bit her lower lip and prepared for the next shot. This time she held the trigger firing off ten rounds dead center before letting off. She pulled her ear protection off and turned to McKenzie as the target came toward them on the automated pulley system.

"Not bad." He looked over her record. "Let's see how you handle a M9."

Tegan grinned, trading weapons, the hand gun would be a piece of cake.

"No need to use your right hand, it says in your jacket your proficient with both hands." He watched her grin fade. "I'm only interested in how well you do with the prosthetic."

"Oh come on McKenzie, Air Force regulations don't require her to be able to shoot with both." Jack argued.

"I'm just looking out for her well being Colonel." He glanced at Jack. "I'd hate for some Goa'uld to cut her right arm off and she not be able to save her own life because she can't shoot with her new arm."

Tegan held the M9 in her left hand and casually pointed it toward Senator McKenzie. "Are you really sure you want me holding a gun in this hand? I mean alien technology and all, you just never know."

"Is that a threat Major?"

"Of course not, besides..." She grinned. "Safety's still on."

She slipped her headgear back on and aimed quickly emptying the entire clip in the center of mass just like she always had.

"I guess SG1 is staying exactly like it is." General Hammond commented as Tegan handed her equipment off to the Staff Sergeant manning the firing range.

"For now." McKenzie brooded. "But you all had better watch your step."

"Senator." Tegan spoke as he turned to leave.

"Yes?"

"Next time you threaten to dismantle SG1 the safety won't be on."

"Now that's a threat." Daniel spoke before McKenzie could.

"No," Tegan corrected, "I want to be perfectly clear. It's not a threat, it's a promise."

He looked around at the smiling faces of her teammates then glanced up at the surveillance camera. "Sergeant, I'd like a copy of that recording."

"What recording?" He watched Senator McKenzie point to the camera. "Oh, that recording. I'm afraid that camera's broken, has been for six months. I put in a service request, but budget cuts and all."

McKenzie turned back to Tegan. "You'd better watch your step."

"When's re-election?"

"I mean it."

"Not nearly as much as I meant what I said."


	39. Chapter 38

The Tegan Chronicles

Intuition and Lies 38

"You did it." Jack clamped his right hand down on Tegan's shoulder after McKenzie had cleared out.

She'd given no indication it was bothering her, but as soon as he touched her she flinched.

Before he could apologize Janet spoke; "I need to take a look."

Tegan shook her head fighting back the urge to say it was fine. She cast an accusing eye around the group. "You all lied to me, every single one of you."

"How many times have you told us you're 'fine', when you're not?" Jack asked.

"That's different."

"Maybe, but we were only doing what we thought was best." Sam offered without apology.

"They were following orders, Major." General Hammond spoke in all his authority. "So if you want to be mad and distrust someone, then be mad at me."

"Yes sir." She suppressed the growl in her chest.

"Now, let Dr. Fraiser do her job Major."

"Yes sir." She turned trying to block their view as she reached up and disengaged the prosthetic. She took a deep breath through clenched teeth and just pulled it off, a mixture of bodily fluids causing it to cling like a suction cup to the raw inflamed skin.

"Oh Tegan." Janet stepped forward as everyone else gasped.

"It looks worse than it feels." Though the truth was the reverse of what she'd said. Her stump was covered in blisters, some filled with blood, others with clear fluid, others had already popped and were now harboring infectious green and yellow pus. The areas where her skin was still intact was red and inflamed.

"How did you..." Sam started and then stopped. She forgot for a minute just how hard headed Tegan was.

"I had to." She answered the incomplete inquiry.

"No you didn't." Jack shook his head."

"I couldn't let Teal get carted off to some science lab in area 51, or you and Sam get court martialed." She didn't intentionally leave Daniel out. "Besides my job was on the line too."

"We wouldn't have gone down without a fight." Sam reassured.

"Yeah, we dug up some dirt on old sneaky snake." Jack added for good measure.

"Hold on to it, you might need it in the future." Tegan warned.

"You mean 'we'?" Daniel adjusted his glasses.

"Yeah, we." She looked at Janet who was still looking at her stump and clearly fuming, even if no one else picked up on it. She averted her gaze to General Hammond. "Sir, when can I return to work?"

"As soon as Dr. Fraiser releases you for duty, Major." He was glad to see some things hadn't changed.

"I need to take a better look at this in the infirmary, get it cleaned and dressed."

"And I can return to work tomorrow." It was more a statement than a question.

"No. You need to let this heal, you've pushed too hard."

"I wasn't given a choice. I did what I had to do. It's not like you all gave me the full four months to work up to this. I had to do it in three weeks. Besides, if I don't return to active duty satus McKenzie is going to be breathing fire again."

"You let me handle him." General Hammond ordered.

"By the way, how did you find out?" Jack asked.

"I over heard Janet's side of a conversation and she mentioned Jessica. I called her and got the condensed story from."

Janet cleared her throat, it explained a lot. "This really needs attended to."

"You're all dismissed." General Hammond turned to Janet. "I'd like to see you when you're done. Same goes for you Major Kiser."

"Yes sir." They answered in unison.

* * *

"What the hell?" Janet took a closer look at Tegan's stump when they got to the infirmary. "I can't believe Dana agreed to this with your arm looking like this."

"It's a stump, and she didn't see it."

"When's the last time you took the prosthetic off?"

Tegan set her jaw and stared off.

"I asked you a question Major."

She turned her head away from Janet and sighed, "Three days ago."

"Three days?"

"Yes."

"Care to explain."

"There will be times when I'm off world and I'll have to wear it 24/7."

"This isn't one of those times."

"It was swelling and I was afraid once I got it on, if I took it off I wouldn't be able to get it on again." Tegan looked at the pustules that had formed. "It didn't look anywhere near this bad."

"Of course not, it's had three days in a dark moist environment to incubate."

"There wasn't any breakdown at the time."

"You're sure about that?"

"No, now can we get this over with?"

Janet cracked the seal on a bottle of sterile water.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tegan sounded almost child-like.

"I was given orders not to."

"By your self?" Suddenly the hurt had disappeared from her tone, she was hiding it with thick sarcasm.

"By General Hammond."

"But it was your idea."

"No, it wasn't." And that was the truth. Everyone had come to the same conclusion and General Hammond had enforced it. She touched Tegan's stump with gauze she'd soaked in the sterile water.

"Ouch." She jumped.

"Sorry."

Nothing else was said as Janet cleaned and dressed the wound. "All done, but you're not going to be able to wear that for a couple days, maybe more."

"I know." Tegan picked up the prosthetic and slid off the bed. She walked around the curtain and saw Julie. "Copley."

"Major Kiser, how are you doing?" Her face beamed.

"Ok." She looked at the gift wrapped box with a large green bow on it, in Julie's hand.

"I was going to stop by and drop this off after work, but I heard you were on base." She held the box out.

Tegan took the box. "Thanks?"

"You can open it."

Tegan found an empty patient table and sat the box down realizing she could simply pull the lid off. She should have guessed that Julie would have thought ahead and wrapped it for easy access. She slipped the lid off to find several interesting pieces of material. She pulled a black one out, realizing immediately what it was. "Sleeves?"

"Yes, it's a custom blend material made to wick moisture away. I hope they fit. I did the measurements when I did one of your dressing changes."

Tegan looked at the seamless sleeve with complete awe at Julie's skills. The sleeve would pull over her stump and then there was a strap that would go over her head to keep it in place. It was slightly elastic to fit snugly, and even had two holes that should line up with the interlocking piece to her prosthetic. "I'm sure they'll fit fine."

"I made you two white ones, three beige, and four black. Though I'm working on a few more black ones since they'll probably be the ones you'll wear the most."

Tegan nodded, the black would go better under her black t-shirt with her BDUs. "How much do I owe you?"

"It's a gift, you don't pay for gifts."

"Ah." She smiled. "Thank you, I really can't tell you how much I appreciate this. Or how much help I'm sure they'll be."

Julie nodded. "Just don't try them on until Dr. Fraiser says you can put your prosthetic back on."

"Not you too?" She glanced back at Janet who was watching her.

Julie smiled as Tegan put the lid back on her gift.

"General Hammond's waiting." Janet reminded.

"After you."

* * *

The Sergeant working outside General Hammond's office greeted them. "Major Kiser, if you'll have a seat. Dr. Fraiser you can go on in."

"General." Janet walked into his office.

"Close the door and have a seat Doctor."

"Yes sir." Janet pushed the door until it clicked into the frame before sitting in the chair facing his desk.

"I'm assuming from Major Kiser's performance, she's able to return to duiy?"

"Physically sir," Janet paused. "May I speak freely?"

It was never a good sign when she asked, and it wasn't like she wouldn't if he'd said no. "Of course."

"You saw her stump."

"But other than that?"

"That's a pretty big but sit, and there's still the question of how she's dealing with this mentally."

"I have her psyche eval here." He tapped the folder on his desk. "And she's fit for duty."

"I can't clear her for any missions off world until she's completely healed without any open sores."

"And how long will that be?"

"A week, maybe two if she listens to me and doesn't wear her prosthetic. Longer if she disregards my advice."

"I'll make sure she doesn't and I'll let her know she's cleared for restricted duty beginning Monday."

"Yes sir."

"One more question, should her prosthetic arm have caused that kind of injury?"

"Not under normal circumstances sir. But I believe she's been working aggressively every minute I've been gone over the last three weeks, and sneaking out once I was asleep to do the same."

"Some things never change do they Dr. Fraiser?"

"I'm afraid not sir."

"Thank you Doctor. You're dismissed." General Hammond waited a few minutes before he called Tegan in. "Close the door and have a seat."

If she thought he was going to congratulate her, she quickly changed her mind.

"How's your arm?"

"It's infected, sir." She figured Janet had already given him a run down of her injuries.

"I understand you won't be unable to go off world until it's completely healed."

Of course, she knew this was protocol but it still caused her to curse Janet silently. "Yes."

"I'm willing to let you come back to work on Monday, limited duty, if you promise to follow Dr. Fraiser's orders to a T."

Tegan sat there for a full minute before agreeing.

"And for the record McKenzie didn't have a leg to stand on, so you should have come to me. He isn't the only one with connections."

"Yes sir."

"That'll be all."


End file.
